Your No More Saturday NFL Sexy Soccer Saturday Open Thread

It feels weird not having a football game to watch today. On the bright side, we have in America the start of a three-day weekend with Monday being Martin Luther King Day!

Wait, do they have MLK Day in the South? Hippo and TWBS, please advise.

Speaking of Hippo and TWBS, tomorrow we will have the resolution of my public shame bet with Hippo in which I will either contribute $100 to Hippo’s favourite charity or Hippo will again drag out TWBS on the coldest night of the year and warm themselves up at the Capital Cabaret, Raleigh’s finest gentleman’s club establishment.

I have asked, nae DEMANDED, that TWBS recreate his Dragnet-style writing to recap the events. This is, of course, assuming that my Love Actually offering to GAMBLOR finds favour with GAMBLOR and I am granted a win.

We shall see.

Today, however, we have a full day of sexy soccer with all the major leagues back in action! Well, almost all of them. DFO’s adopted team, BSC Young Boys, from Bern, Switzerland are off until February. The Swiss season is exactly at the halfway point and our Boys have 49 points from 16 wins, 1 tie, and 1 loss. Only Juventus can boast a better record in European league competitions.

The Swiss Super League only has 10 teams, so each team plays the others four times: twice at home and twice away. The second place team, FC Basel, has 30 points. That tells you all you need to know about how dominating and powerful the Young Boys are. Which is totally why they perfectly represent the DFO Commentist Party.

/falls down while playing soccer with niece

//braces himself with hand as he lands awkwardly

///hand hurts for weeks

Before we move on to today’s schedule, I want to share with you an image that Don T shared with us in the back room.

And they say Germans have no sense of humour…

Without further ado, TO THE GAMES! (all times Pacific)

If you’re awake when this post airs, you can prepare some breakfast and catch Leicester City visiting Wolverhampton.

I have to give it up to NBC for finally putting some good games on TV channels included in the basic packages. No NBC Sports Gold for Liverpool and Man U! Also, Arsenal and Chelsea get the full nationwide NBC treatment!

It’s like NBC realized they aren’t showing any more NFL until September…

Here is the patented Balls Omakase Menu:

  • Wolverhampton Wanderers v Leicester City
  • Computer: Liverpool v Crystal Palace / TV: Manchester United v Brighton & Hove Albion / Cell Phone: Real Madrid v Sevilla
  • Arsenal v Chelsea
  • PSG v En Avant Guingamp
  • Querétaro v Monterrey
  • América v Pachuca
  • Tigres v Cruz Azul

And now for some lovely ladies, courtesy of our favourite Twitter feed, Futbol Babes:

Too bad Palace don’t have a shot against the Pool…
I don’t think that’s snow…
You know, I try to hate Real Madrid and then…
I really should watch more Bundesliga…
The End

Comment away!

(10/69)

ballsofsteelandfury

ballsofsteelandfury

International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.
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Moose -The End Is Well NighUnsurprisedtheeWeeBabySeamusherodotus450Doktor Zymm Recent comment authors
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Walk on honkey line change for ‘Ville. LOL.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Brilliant!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, Georgia Tech broke 40.
Only took ’em 34 minutes.
WOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Someone who follows college reassure me; the D. Hall Jr that plays for Pitt is no relation of DeAngelo Hall, right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Honestly don’t know, but his D is Darrin. His father is Darrin Sr.
Maybe an uncle?

No idea. I’ll shut up now because I’m not being helpful.

herodotus450
herodotus450

[Rubs hands together while thinking about max free agent contracts]
-Dan S.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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It’s the only way to make sure.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Georgia Tech is not….they’re not….they’re not good.

Doktor Zymm

Watching the West v East bowl and keep expecting to see a Key and Peele sketch

Senor Weaselo

Update according to Senor’s ESPN app: Adidas U 43, Georgia Tech 16. Starting the 2nd half.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

His coccyx!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

IT WILL BE HUGE!

Because it is broken and swelling.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

I mean that’s impressive. He didn’t roll it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Must be VERY slick (I’ve had that happen a couple of times, but with no traffic). Maybe he’s getting an insurance quote?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hi Mom? Yeah I might be a little late.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That could be the answer to very slick too.

Wakezilla

Chelski lost!?! Woo! United is only one game back of the wildcard now! What a rush!

Senor Weaselo

Apparently Georgia Tech is not very good against Adidas U.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Technically NSFW of her.

h

ttps://pixxxels.cc/Czb7BrXf

Fronkenshteen

I have an AWFUL feeling New England is gonna fucking win tomorrow. Maybe it’s cancer. I hope it’s cancer.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Cancer can be defeated.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Different Russian model: https://pixxxels.cc/gallery/jch4l0tk/

litre_cola

UCLA V USC, wonders if John Wooden is alive.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Huh.

h

ttps://gfycat.com/AggressivePoliteGibbon

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I have to go buy beer now. Anybody need anything?

/immediately regrets the question

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I want a snack but I really shouldn’t eat anything. And I can’t drink. FML.

King Hippo

methinks when footbaw ends, I go back on the juicer diet. There are just soooooo many aspects of myself that I hate sooooooo much.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Same. I was going to start one yesterday and then that went away immediately because my allergies have me feeling like shit but ice cream makes it all better.

King Hippo

yeah, all the Benadryl naps I’ve taken this month have got my sleep cycle and brain cavity (in general) even more fuckety than usual

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

If my allergies get worse or don’t improve I might get a sudafed prescription out of this since I’m stuck seeing my doctor every 2-3 days still for at least another week for wound care.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

you’re near Balmer? Heroine

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Ugh. That gif looks horrible. I need to check these before posting.

https://gfycat.com/AlienatedCompassionateIndianrockpython

King Hippo

Rachel Brosnahan is 100% dream girl

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Echo this.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

h

ttps://gfycat.com/tightbowedgenet

ttps://gfycat.com/SlushyBasicKid

King Hippo

#Real+Spectacular

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Indeed

(reload to make sure you see both)

King Hippo

to be so whip-smart and that beautiful? Imagine how batshit cray-cray she must be!!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Worth it.

King Hippo

oh, totally. This would be feature, not bug.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Remember when the Skipper tried to hang Clint Eastwood? Gilligan would have never gone along with that shit, even as passive as he was.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck off, Notre Dame.

King Hippo

they done fucked off now. Bout fucking time.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I have to find a sports bar in MD willing to put the ‘Ville game on on Thursday night.
Which isn’t going to be easy for several reasons.

King Hippo

see if it’s streaming first, maybe it will work since MD out-of-area

theeWeeBabySeamus

Prolly gonna have to. The only local channel it’s on up there is one of the tiny DC stations.
Thanks for going to the B1G, Maryland!!!!!!!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Evergreen

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Shitty WVU still manages to beat Kansas.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Is this the year Kansas doesn’t win the Big 12?!?!

King Hippo

they been Pittsnoggled?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

MLK Day is Robert E. Lee day in the South.
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King Hippo

tis not Lee/Jackson Day in North Cakalaky, but think it still is in VA (and always will be so in The South with capital letters)

King Hippo

/also obligatory how cum u yankees never support no WHITE history month ur the reel racists imo godbless

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

To be fair, I’m pretty sure it’s also REL Day in Arizona. Plenty of the West is racist as fuck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Every day is Keep Fucking That Chicken day for racists, and the celebrate it everyday.

King Hippo

some by ACTUALLY fucking a chicken ,, ppl forget that

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

RIP Jerry Falwell

Redshirt

How dare they support that Private University President! All Private Universities think they’re so elitist but still get federal money and…

(listens into ear piece)

Huh? Lee was a what? Well that’s a lot worse.

yeah right

Marshawn Lynch is a goddamn national treasure.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I pretty much hate Bill Maher, but it was worth watching that segment for Beastmode.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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FUCKING SATURDAY AND THE DAY BEFORE THE CHAMP PEEN CHIP SUNDAY!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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mmmmm peanut buuuuuuutter.

Horatio Cornblower

The things I would do with her and peanut butter.

Mostly get some quality jam, some good bread and make a nice sandwich or two. With maybe some milk.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I would also endeavor to make her a sandwich once the ingredients were agreed to and supply her with her beverage of choice to accompany said sandwich.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s Florida all over again.
Best nap I’ve had in months.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It might be quick, but at least it’s small.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shit, they actually called a foul on ND.
The world might be ending, guys.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Arsenal really shouldering its way to the front in that game, eh?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog
rockingdog

chelsea takes the L.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Bobby Cremins has a very annoying voice.

That is all.

King Hippo

glad to see someone else say that. Was wondering if it was just mah inner Reb coming out…

rockingdog
rockingdog

bahahaha
barkley tried to score for chelsea and the ball hit hit the dude in the nuts!!!!!