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Your “A Bet Is A Bet” Saturday Evening Open Thread

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Let me first say that betting is a bad thing to do.  Do as I say, not as I do.  And you are an idiot if you follow MY betting advice.  Don’t believe me…?  Just look at my brackets.

If you’re really wanting to go and follow anyone’s betting advice it should be that of the lovely and talented King Hippo .  He smrt.

But you still shouldn’t bet.  It’s a vice and if you do it you are a horrible human.  Hippo and meself already know we’re horrible humans so it doesn’t matter to us anymore.

But don’t bet.  It’s a bad thing to do.

About a week and a half ago, I laid out $500 each on five different college basketball games.  It was house money at that point, built up from an initial $250 layout.  But it was still a very stupid thing to do.  Mostly, I did it because I needed the diversion from real life.  I don’t know if that makes sense or not.  And fortunately, I hit on four out of five games, netting another $1500.  I also hit yesterday on the Texas Tech line (thank you Red Raiders).

But now I’m cashing out.  It’s time to get out before my run of luck turns.

Having said that…..

NCAA Tournament

Already in Progress…

  • (10)Florida v (2)Michigan – TV: CBS
  • (10)Murray State v (4)Florida State – TV: TNT

Upcoming Momentarily…

(9)Baylor (+13, +1250) v (1)Gonzaga – 7:10pmEDT – TV: TBS

  • Don’t touch this, Zags gon’ roll but no profit margin to throw money in their direction.

(10)Minnesota (+10, +625) v (2)Michigan State – 7:45pmEDT – TV: CBS

  • Sparty due to lay an egg, might be worth a coupla bucks on the Minny ML.

(6)Villanova (+4, +180) v (3)Purdue – 8:40pmEDT – TV: TNT

  • I don’t have a good feel for this one…both are overseeded and underperformers.  Could go either way.

(5)Auburn (-2, -135) v (4)Kansas – 9:40pmEDT – TV: TBS

  • ML the hell out of KU on this one IMHO.  But as always, don’t blame me if you do and Auburn prevails.

–

Other Sports

NHL

  • NYR @ Toronto – 700pmEDT – TV: NHLN

Full Schedule

NBA

  • Philly @ Atlanta – 7:30pmEDT – TV: NBATV
  • Detroit @ Portland – 10:00pmEDT – TV: NBATV

Full Schedule

–

OK, A Coupla More Cheerleaders For Good Measure

(lol…measure)

Later taters.

Be safe.

–

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Mouth Flies Open: DFO Advice Mailbag Number 10 – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]

[…] Late add! After that last piece of writing, another (possibly unwitting) submission to the Mailbag appeared in an open thread— […]

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Where?!?!?

–J. Elway

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SonOfSpam

News just said something about a listeria outbreak, and I immediately started singing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMzyleT2FqY

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I overate, but it was worth it.
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Unsurprised

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SonOfSpam

Hey, whoever’s still here. Just got back from my AL roto baseball draft, and apparently I’m rooting for Texas to hit lots of dongs. Also my daughter was my Uber driver. Have kids everyone, for that reason alone.

Hope this evening finds y’all well and cumstained.

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Unsurprised

Hey

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SonOfSpam

And hey to you.

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Unsurprised

I’m still looking for cumstains that aren’t mine.

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SonOfSpam

Check the underside of your hutch. The UV light tells all.

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yeah right

The good news is the ballpark in Arlington is big dong Central.

The bad news is the Rangers play there.

God speed and pass the imodium.

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SonOfSpam

Sure as hell didn’t grab any of their pitchers

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Mr. Ayo

We love dong jokes here.

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SonOfSpam

Must Love Dongs was a John Cusack movie IIRC

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Mr. Ayo

Also the title of urmom’s biopic.

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SonOfSpam

She didnt love them so much as profit from briefly liking them

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Mr. Ayo

Done and done.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m watching professional bowling.
Time to murder myself.

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Horatio Cornblower

God.

Damn.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfaOf70M4xs

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Horatio Cornblower

Who knew?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOwblaKmyVw

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I have an honest question for the group…
I crossed paths with a very attractive young lady earlier tonight. I didn’t pursue it for two reasons…
1. I’m still trying to get over the girl formerly known as tWLS
2. She is in her 20s (I’m 52, btw) and the age thing didn’t work out well for me previously.
But she was obviously open to it. And also, really damned hot.

Am I being stupid? I’ll hang up and listen to your opinions.

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Horatio Cornblower

You’re an idiot.

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Mr. Ayo

*Mouth Flies Open*

YES

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Always taking my lines

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of.
Fortunately, I can rectify it.
And when it fails miserably I’ll blame you fuckers.

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Mr. Ayo

That’s right. You “rectify” her.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL…that’ll be her call.
/buys astroglide gallon size

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Horatio Cornblower

“Rectum? Hell, she damn near killed me!”

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Col. Duke LaCross

Granted, I’m three bourbons in right now, and one in hand, so take everything I have to say with a grain of salt, but don’t overthink things. Take stuff as it happens. Have some fun if that’s what you’re looking for, or have some you time if you need it. You never know when someone that’s relationship material is going to come along and I don’t know if seeking something like that out and trying to force the issue is the way to find the right one anymore.

I’ve been doing the online thing for awhile, dealing with one damaged person after another, probably because I am too, and I realized that folks lean on that these days because all the first round draft picks are taken already. But recently, just by knowing a friend of a friend, I met a lady that’s a few years my junior. She’s beautiful, intelligent, got a great career, not insane (from what I can gather), with crazy ambition and a motor that doesn’t quit. She’s basically everything I’m not, yet she keeps coming around and actually likes me for my quirks. I’m way outkicking my coverage and this kind of shit has never happened to me before. She’s the first woman I’ve had anything resembling a relationship with that didn’t just make me want to be a better person, but actually made me like who I am. And who knows how long before she gets tired of it and it ends badly, but for now, I’m just rolling with it.

I kinda lost my train of thought. Oh yeah, knock out them hood rats.

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Col. Duke LaCross

Actually I just remembered, she told me this morning that she’s a fan of #ThePauls so maybe she’s a little nuts.

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Unsurprised

… FIVE DOLARS!

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ballsofsteelandfury

Yes, you’re stupid.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Again with my wedding night, Moose?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Quite bragging about it going so well.

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Brocky

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Horatio Cornblower

From the Department of Really Bad Ideas, we bring you this 7.7 ABV Milk Stout from Treehouse, Moment of Clarity
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I anticipate few moments of clarity tomorrow.

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Horatio Cornblower

Oh god, it’s so good though.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That also rooks dericious.

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Horatio Cornblower

It is ridiculously good.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hummina hummina
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Mr. Ayo

I should sign up for a yoga program.

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Brocky

I’d be honest if the women in your local yoga chapter were really worth the price of admission, you’d know by now

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s where they go to fart.

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Mr. Ayo

Well then, I’ll just stand outside the window and watch.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No open flame.

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Mr. Ayo

Dammit. I needs my steak.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

Like most modern cures in medical science it happened by accident but somewhere during today’s proceedings I’ve discovered the indisputable cure for constipation.

It’s fine now!
This can stop already!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

How do they know this? Who is in charge of weighing this shit (literally).
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yeah right

It doesn’t need to be illustrated.

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Unsurprised

It GETS to be.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I bet it was the horseradish.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Mr. Ayo

Have a seat right here.

*Points to face*

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This might be John Walsh territory.

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Horatio Cornblower

Fuck that guy.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, there goes that joke.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Especially on the right

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Are you still talking about the election?

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Horatio Cornblower

Oh, we have controversy in CA! The Bulgarian was cut badly, stormed back, knocked the Romanian down but hit him in the back of the head on the way down.

I haven’t seen this much excitement since the Speaker of Parliament invoked a rule from 1644 to cut off PM May from pushing for a 3rd vote on a Brexit extension!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

What do these guys not understand about “no rabbit punches?”.
Oh right, they don’t speak English.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Overheard on the train:

“She’s a ho!”
“What’s her number?”

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Horatio Cornblower

I’ll bet it’s 867-5309.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

YOU LEAVE JENNY OUTTA THIS!!!!!!

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