Sharkbait’s Cocktail of the Week: Pass Me The Painkillers

Well, I’ve done it again. For the third time playing hockey, I’ve dislocated my shoulder. Which, oddly enough makes mixing (shaking) drinks extremely difficult. However, the bar is still open, and drinks must be consumed. With a sling on my shoulder, I think I need a painkiller. Recipe courtesy of

2.5 oz. Dark or navy strength rum

2.5 oz Pineapple juice

1 oz. Orange juice

1 oz. Cream of coconut

Add all ingredients into a shaker with ice and shake until well-chilled. Strain into a large snifter filled with pebble ice. Garnish with grated nutmeg and a skewered pineapple leaf and preserved cherry.

Better than Oxy

Technically this should be made with Pusser’s rum, as they invented the cocktail in the British Virgin Islands. Lacking Pusser’s in my bar, I subbed in Gosling’s dark rum. The Painkiller is rum forward, but not in a bad way. It’s the centerpiece of the drink so it deserves to be the opening flavor salvo. Once you get past the rum, the pineapple flavor starts to dominate, with a backing smoothness from the coconut cream.

I’m normally not a coconut fan, but I like this. As mentioned above, the coconut cream adds underlying sweetness without overpowering the rum, while also cutting the acidity pf the pineapple. It also adds thickness, as the coconut cream is pretty viscous. The finished drink has a froth reminiscent of a flip. It’s a heavy drink, any more than two and you’ll start feeling full.

It’s cold and refreshing. It’s essentially a piña colada,  but with dark rum instead of white. Personally, I prefer this version since I tend to stay away from overly sweet drinks. One downside to this drink is that you can’t really nurse it. It will start to separate after a bit.

Like most drinks of this type, it can also be made virgin, much to the delight of Mrs. Sharkbait who thoroughly enjoyed the version I made her. However, if you’re making a virgin painkiller, you’ll definitely want to add more nutmeg on the top. Without the rum, the nutmeg alone shoulders the burden of counterbalancing the sweetness of the cream so you’ll need extra.

(Banner image found here)

Sharkbait has not actually been bitten by a shark, but has told people in bars that he was for free drinks. Lives in Boston, married to a Giants fan, he enjoys whisk(e)y, cooking, the Rangers, and the Patriots.
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Don T

I dunno about “navy strength”, but rum made in PR is 80 proof or more. Wouldn’t be the first time we beat the navy ?


Not really into pina coladas. But I do like getting caught in the rain.


The piña colada is my favourite drink when I’m on vacation at an all-inclusive beach resort. I’ll drink those all day and make money on the trip.


Wait, so if you’re making a virgin version, what do you substitute for the rum?


My own painkiller: Alison Brie boobs from GLOW



yeah right

I love a good tropical rum drink. This does sound tasty.


“You can never have too much nutmeg”

–You know who





Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sounds delicious.

King Hippo

Better than oxy??? YOU ON MY LIST