2019 Quotables – Week 8 (Results)

blaxabbath

blaxabbath

I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
blaxabbath

So today is Friday. I was out on some cold project site this morning thinking, “This is the end of my week when I get back in the office. Couple emails and then, chalk the remainder of my performance up to the fact that all the income I earn on Fridays goes directly to Uncle Sam Javanka.”

[Holds finger to earpiece] What’s that? I just drove off all the new arrivals we got from Turning Point USA? Well, sounds like a you problem, DTZM.

Whatever,. Point is, I was thrilled to recall — as I sip my PSL — that Fridays is Quotables results day! So, submissions may be found here and your results are below.


“I really wish they didn’t take away my dildos at the gate.” -nomonkeyfun

“People forget that Cincinnati and London are Sister Suplex Cities.” -Enrico Pallazzo

“How are people still struggling with the Cha Cha Shuffle in 2019? More importantly, why is anyone still doing it in the first place?” -JerBear50

“Who hired Zapruder as a camera operator?” -LemonJello

“’See! They love to entertain their owners.’ –The Ghost of Jerry Richardson” -BrettFavresColonoscopy

“World’s #1 deadbeat loser reacts to G/O burning down its own house.” -Unsurprised

“I haven’t seen a train wreck in Tennessee that bad since 1918.” -Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Dia De Los Jortos” -SonOfSpam
blaxabbath
blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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rockingdog
rockingdog

LOL
Josh Gordon 7 minutes into living in Seattle…comment image

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:

[to the tune of old mc’donald]
I’m so stressed that sunlight hurts. I am gods mistake.

King Hippo

See, I knew we could count on Coked-Up RedZoneGuy

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Día de los Jortos killed me, missed that one the first time around.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That’s my favorite.

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

“Stick to spurts.”

–Peter North