It’s been a fairly hectic time on the old internets this week. My Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, made the news by avoiding Halloween costumes this year, because – well, you know…

      

He just ran out of ideas.

The Not-Montreal-Expos won the World Series, touching off a strenuous yet polite online debate in Canada about whether this counts as an Expos victory since they are part of the heritage of that team. The correct answer: it does not, and further debate only serves to make Youppi cry.

Besides, he’s moved on.

Deadspin died, and with it a lot of keyboards went silent. Well, while we can’t resolve the previous two, we here at [DFO] are more than happy to welcome any of those wayward souls to our happy little corner of the internet. Have a look over our welcome page, and hopefully you want to join us in maintaining the snarky fun that was the mainstay of our former home, KSK.

For those of you who are still learning about our fair site, the weekends are a little more casual. Saturday mornings (and non-football Sundays), as you may have seen, are usually devoted to discussing Lesser Footy (aka, “soccer”) and Lesser Aussie Footy (aka, the “AFL”, Crikey! edition) when in season. The evening posts are usually sorbets for the next day’s football action, but are also home to a rabid pack of Canadian Commentists who rave about hockey & complain at the volume of Leafs coverage in our media.

I’m Beerguyrob, and I’ll be your server this evening.

We think you’ll agree: [DFO] – we’re not Drew Magary, but we’re also not AJ Daulerio.


Sunday Football Viewing Maps – courtesy 506sports.com

CBS EARLY

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu

█ Indianapolis @ Pittsburgh – Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts

█ Tennessee @ Carolina – Greg Gumbel, Trent Green

█ NY Jets @ Miami – Spero Dedes, Adam Archuleta
I bet CBS wishes they could have a different game for 75% of the country. Not Andrew Luck vs. Not Rapey Ben is Not A Ratings Winner. And I’m not going to lie – that LOLJets – LOLFins matchup looks to sound as hideous as it will likely play out. The broadcast team might kill themselves after calling a 3-2 Jets win.
—————————————————————-

CBS LATE

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu
█ Green Bay @ LA Chargers – Jim Nantz, Tony Romo
█ Cleveland @ Denver – Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon
If I can trust anyone to make a turd sound like a filet mignon, it’s Kevin Harlan. It will be the only thing making that game watchable.
—————————————————————-

FOX SINGLE

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu
█ Chicago @ Philadelphia – Dick Stockton, Mark Schlereth
█ Minnesota @ Kansas City – Kevin Burkhardt, Charles Davis
█ Washington @ Buffalo – Chris Myers, Daryl Johnston
█ Detroit @ Oakland (LATE) – Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman
█ Tampa Bay @ Seattle (LATE) – Kenny Albert, Ronde Barber
I will be at the Tampa-Seattle game, so will be spared the ordeal of Ronde Barber trying to interpret Kenny Albert.
—————————————————————-
Finally, remember – it’s a 14 hour viewing window on Sunday, thanks to the London game. Don’t forget to hydrate!

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL: (national broadcasts only)  
    • Leafs at Flyers – 7:00PM | CBC
    • Senators at Bruins – 7:00PM | Sportsnet360
    • Canucks at Sharks – 10:00PM | CBC
    • Jets at Vegas – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NCAA: (games of note)
    • Mississippi at Auburn – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • Northwestern at Indiana – 7:00Pm | FS1
    • SMU at Memphis – 7:30PM | ABC
    • Oregon at Southern California – 8:00PM | FOX
    • BYU at Utah State – 10:00PM | ESPN2
  • CFL: final weekend  
    • Argonauts vs. Tiger-Cats – 7:00PM | TSN / ESPN+
    • Stampeders vs. Lions – 10:00PM | TSN / ESPN+
  • Fisticuffs:
    • UFC 244 – Masvidal vs. Diaz: From New York City
      • Prelims – 8:00PM | ESPN2
      • Main Card – 10:00PM | ESPN+
    • Top Rank Boxing:
      • Main Card: Berchelt-Sosa (junior lightweights) – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN5
  • Left Turns:
    • NASCAR:
      • O’Reilly Auto Parts 300 – Texas Motor Speedway – 8:30PM | NBCSN / TSN2
  • Dear Lord Why?!:
    • NYC Marathon – 9:00AM | ESPN2 / TSN2

Anyhoo – that’s how Saturday nights look. I ramble a bit; we talk about football broadcasts; and then we entertain ourselves with jokes & gifs until one by one we all fall asleep or blackout. If you remember KSK, it’s how the live blogs went.

Welcome to all the new folks; welcome back to all the current folks, and enjoy your evening here at [DFO].

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Viva La Tabula Raza

So I am watching Wick 3. This shit is in-fucking-sane.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Eric Trump posts about the UFC crowd chanting “Donald Trump, Donald Trump… USA USA” and as evidence includes…a photograph.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I didn’t think they could get dumber…and then this election cycle happened

Unsurprised

It can always get dumber.

Unsurprised

I want to run for an open office where I live, but I’m also terrified of running for office.

Unsurprised

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Wakezilla

She’s seems friendly

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sup

blaxabbath

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh sorry, I thought you were someone else.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m up for a very limited subset of whatever

Spur

I got a bleached asshole, want to party?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Modern beauty rituals have very little to do with my interests.

I’ve got a bunch of scotch and some vegan ice cream, so that’s my party.

Sharkbait

Vegan ice cream? The fuck?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s LA, dude. And it’s delicious.

BC Dick

Isn’t vegan ice cream just cold salad?

ballsofsteelandfury

Over of us! One of us!

Gratliff

wrestling.jpg
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Unsurprised

THE POWER OF CHRIST!

King Hippo

UVA wins the Coastal Division, so long as they beat Georgia Tech (who lost to fucking Citadel) at home. If U*NC loses at Pitt, then NC State can keep them out of a bowl. THAT IS ALL THE POTENTIAL JOY LEFT FOR HIPPO, THEN I CAN DIE HAPPY.

Gratliff

A more amusing version of the UFC Trump booing
https://twitter.com/JJMast1/status/1190812770951925760

Gratliff

It’s time to send Trump to NASCAR just as a social experiment

blaxabbath

I think it’s time for him to visit one of his summer camp concentration camps.

BC Dick

yeah but Clinton killed a guy.

Unsurprised

He loves him some kids in cages.

— Jonathan Zemsky (@jzemsky) November 3, 2019

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like how (in addition to the one close to the camera) you can distinctly hear someone in the distance yelling “FUCK YOU!”

Sharkbait

Hook it up to my veins

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“In a minute, in a minute.” – Ryan Leaf

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Yeah, wait your turn.” – Todd Marinovich

blaxabbath

“OUTTA MY WAY!” -Max Hall

Senor Weaselo

I mean it makes sense for him to go. Two Latino men fighting in a cage? Sounds right up Trump’s alley.

Unsurprised

I want to see him in Philly.

blaxabbath

I just turned on El Camino. Worth my Saturday Night’s time? Or should I just sleep?

King Hippo

It was pretty good. Better than the Romney Bowl.

King Hippo

Now, to sleep in preparation/despair. SEE YOU ALL FOR ALL 14 MANDATORY HOURS MANANA.

Doktor Zymm

How fun would it be if Disney did a remake of Planet of the Apes except instead of apes it was lots of Mickey and Minnie mouse who had taken over?

That is all, I’m off to a place called ‘Taco’s and Beer’

Brocky

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Sharkbait

Is there room for one more?

Senor Weaselo

It’s the one franchise they haven’t taken over!

BC Dick

That would be good. I think you’d need some plutos in there too.

Viva La Tabula Raza

As a Corvette/Impala owner, I really don’t care about Mustangs. I hope they get run off a cliff.
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Brocky

As a former mustang owner, I miss my mustang

King Hippo

as an owner of a non-descript Nissan, after 10 years of minivan? I don’t get laid very often.

Gratliff

My fuel efficient mitsubishi crossover has me just swimming in pussy

King Hippo

chuh fookin’ chuh!

Doktor Zymm

I’m a fan of the animal, indifferent towards the car

BugEyedBoo

I like the boat-tail vette better than the convertible, but I like that ’66 SS (I think) better than both.

Brick Meathook

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Spur

Fedex is going to blow this

theeWeeBabySeamus

They’re not really going for 2 here…are they?

Spur

they got it

theeWeeBabySeamus

Indeed.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Nah.
Oh wait.

King Hippo

I saw someone do the maths on it, and it’s correct to go for 2 late, down 8.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Unsurprised

God bless Drew for making the list and also fucking it up.

https://twitter.com/drewmagary/status/1190678130408796161

Senor Weaselo

The last great American hero.

Sharkbait

We need to get Drew to post here. It is his spiritual home after all. Poster Emeritus?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I reached out to him a couple of days ago and didn’t hear a peep back. I am not surprised, nor offended – I am sure he has plenty of people offering to host anything he wants to write about.

yeah right

Um I’m I’m going to do it. I know Drew he’s the Oracle. He’s both fat and Minnesota’s best!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t Forget.
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I mean, you don’t wanna miss the Hou/Jax kickoff do ya????

Sharkbait

Houston-Jaxoff? Isn’t that on pornhub on demand?

WCS

To the Balls Signal!

WCS

Couldn’t care less about that game; extra hour of booze!

King Hippo

MANDATORY is MANDATORY

Spur
Spur

SMU still has life here

Unsurprised

I love that joke about how they finally made it back into D-1 football just in time for it to be okay to pay players.

WCS

BANANACAKES reception in the Dead Hookers-Fedex match-up.

King Hippo

Not sure they allow scholarships on defense in this league.

Spur

a Mormon rumble on ESPN2. BYU vs Utah St.

Brocky

I thought the whole point of Utah was so non mormons had a place to have premarital sex

Spur
rockingdog

it tis gonna be a looooonnnnnngggggg season for the warriors.
uttt ohhhhhh
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Spur

They are no Spurs. We will have our revenge for Zaza and Kawhi

Senor Weaselo

Hey, they’re not all dead! Wait, never mind.

Spur
King Hippo

THANK FUCK, U*NC will not win their division, at least.

Unsurprised

Is there a spelling bee involved?

Senor Weaselo

“If you can spell pass you pass!”
“Uh, t…”
“Close enough!”

theeWeeBabySeamus

At least they’ll now have an extra week to study and prepare for final ex…..
LMFAO, I can’t finish the sentence.

Spur
WCS

How they are not in the Rock Hall of Fame demonstrates how screwed up that whole thing is.

yeah right

What WCS said!

Brocky

I mean, I’m not gonna pretend to be an expert on music, but as someone who grew up exposed to a lot of classic rock, can’t say I’ve heard of these guys.

That’s probably more on me though being a youngin. My dad nearly had a fucking exentsial crisis when I explained to him I didn’t know the band yes.

Is there just some sort of “funnel effect” on what “classic songs” still get radio play?

Spur

OTA can not play this song.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I feel that the winnowing process for classic rock has been more help than harm. Mostly (mostly) the real crap has been filtered out and you can use what you like from the canon as a starting place for more obscure stuff. With the advent of youtube and algorithms, I haven’t even had to work that hard.

Also: Yes is self-indulgent prog rock tripe, and you didn’t miss shit. I got tricked into listening by a college girlfriend who thought she had discovered a lost Dead Sea Scroll…

JustStopDude

Oregon seems determined to have every member of the defense disqualified for targeting.

Spur
King Hippo

Lookit the bollocks on JV FedEx!

theeWeeBabySeamus

In other news, I’m glad I decided not to bet today.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And by “decided”, of course I mean fell asleep and didn’t wake up until after kickoff.

JustStopDude

I got a sick pet

Got to feed her by hand …

https://postimg.cc/34R9pNKT

JustStopDude

Yes….she bites….

Sharkbait

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Unsurprised

Keep her away from tWBS

Viva La Tabula Raza

Got one whose arthritis has gotten so bad that it might be time for that last trip to the vet. Hoping another medicine that was recommended to me by my weed dealer/fellow dog lover recommended when he visited the other day. I was hoping the hobbled limping around was because of the cold front that ame through, but she hasn’t improved. NOT looking forward to this.

Gratliff

It’s been a while since I’ve had to go through it. We got two dogs within a year of eachother which seemed great at the time, but will undoubtedly feel like a huge mistake ~15 years from now

Spur
rockingdog
Horatio Cornblower

Ole Miss QB showing what an Ole Miss education will get you.

Senor Weaselo

Manningface?

WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“My Ole Miss education got me two kids!” – Vili Fualaau