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Alright! I don’t even think we need to wait for tonight’s Chefs/Heretics MNF tilt to get to YOUR Week 11 Quotables submissions.
Also, I’m not gonna waste your time with a further write up today. So just go ahead and get participationing.
2019 Quotables – Week 11 (Submissions)
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The NFL’s Salute to Service month could maybe be a little less PTSD-y
At least the replay will confirm that there was no pass interference
CONGRATULATIONS TO 2019 KEG STAND FINALIST
I guess next week is his turn in the barrel.
“Oh God that was terrible, and if he thinks I’m givin him a rimmer in the locker room after the game he’s nuttier than the fudge I made for Olaf’s funeral last month, but who do I kid, I’ll still let him rail me till my bed has 10,000 lakes of grade A baby batter, oh what the Christ I think I said some of that louder than I intended, gosh, this fucking game will do that to me. Any more popcorn Ed?”
What was Belichick doing at this game?
Here we see a rare example of someone both literally and figuratively going through the motions.
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Start shit, get hit
If you boys think you’re getting any of Momma’s hot dish after that output you got another thing coming, you betcha.
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Heh. Was gonna go with a hot dish reference myself. Glad I looked first.
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PITT! THE! ELDER!
SON OF A BITCH! Now I remember what I was going to say!
Truly stunned it was still available.
Unlike the hot dish joke.
/shakes fist at Lemonjello
There can be multiple.
But only the best will reign supreme.
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The 2019 Cincinnati Bengals Year in Review
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Myles Garrett having the rare opportunity to take revenge on the guy who single handedly cost you this week Fantasy Football Week all in the first game of the week.
It’s good to see that the children of the Children of the Corn can now chew gum
The Lambeau Leap’s non-union barber’s plumber’s dog-walker’s gardener’s twice removed half-cousin
No wonder these sluts catch mono.
“Better than what I can do.”
–Mitch Trubisky
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You mess with the Browns, you get the cowflop.
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Laugh if you will, but this is the White Minnesotan Woman equivalent of calling them all sister-fucking cock weasel c*ntpunters.
Pictured: the only time the Bengals have ever received two thumbs up
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Jim Tomsula’s Hobo Football League is looking WAAAY better than the XFL
Ah yes, the Denver 100, the Houston 500’s lesser known, higher altitude predecessor.
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“You have been cleared through the NFL’s concussion protocol. Isn’t that great?”
-D. Chao
I haven’t seen a Brown get so viciously kicked since…oh, I’m sorry, I thought I was in the “Stephen Miller’s hacked emails” thread.
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Usually force and head goes the other way for Pittsburgh QB.
Having a fat guy named “Kelly” holding up the guy doing the kegstand really adds to the verisimilitude of this one.
Alex Smith stops mid-rehab, a chill running down his spine, the hair on the back of his neck standing up. If Kaepernick has mastered the 5 yard check-down, Alex may be out of job once more. He’d already seen how this plays out.
I haven’t seen someone take a Brown’s shot on the chin that hard since…oh, my bad, I thought I was in the “Balls on Assignment” thread.
… since Kamala Harris’s job interview with Willie Brown
Once her son retired from the NFL, Mrs. Pennington was happy to be able to resume rooting for her beloved Vikings.
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/cums
-V. Burfict
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I don’t
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think
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these teams like each other.
Nice triptych, Francis Bacon.
The knives may really come out at the next Steelers-Ravens game for Balmur to prove which is the team that hates Pittsburgh more.
To save costs, the NFL now makes injured players hitchhike off the field.
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“Thanks Obama.”
-NY Times Iowa “swing” voter, who is also the chair of the county Republican Party
Garbage paper
Who knew that the missing link could throw a football?
Hodor?
“Did you just call him a*”
(No caption – just noting that this has gotta be one of the best FatGuyDown celebrations possible.)
[shakes head sadly]
He’s so concussed that he’s still got his thumb up even though he’s already successfully hitched a ride.
Thanks for the GIFs for the Bleergh report.
reduce, reuse, recycle
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/David Attenborough voice
“We’ve been really fortunate to come across the ‘Minnesota Cheer’ today. These are usually only see after FG attempts in the playoffs.”
“CAN YOU DIG IT?”
Then he gets shot. Yeah, checks out
“Got anything?”
“…nope.”
…
“Wait. I got it. Remember how AB said that he couldn’t find a helmet he liked? Obviously, he won’t be able to either! Look at that hair!”
“Nah. Didn’t work back then, won’t work now. That excuse hasn’t worked since Polamalu.”
“…damn.”
“Jeffrey Epstein didn’t commit suicide and nothing you say or do will change my mind!”
“This pass has been brought to you by ISIS and MS-13”–Tucker Carlson
AARON HERNANDEZ WAS FRAMED!
Good afternoon, Viking faithful! Due to unavoidable budget cuts, the Gyallarhorn has been retired effective immediately. Please extend a warm 10,000 Lakes welcome to Mrs. Astrid Bjornsson, who has kindly stepped in to fill the void. SKOL!
“I only have three words for why these types of hits should be outlawed. Purple. Monkey. Dishwasher.”
-T. Green
“Mason, you shouldn’t be out here without a helmet. Here, allow me to put this one I found on for you! Ope. my bad.”
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He should stay in town and run for mayor. “Cocky New York Asshole” is all the rage in DC these days.
“This shirt came with a mandatory five day waiting period for the gun show.”
Post pic is too excellent NOT to use.
Tate: Just got the call from Grumblelord! We’re good to go!
EMT: Yeah!
Tate: It’s 639 miles to Foxboro, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and that dude’s wearing sunglasses.
EMT: Hit it!
Even this wasn’t enough to cause Little Danny to suffer an aneurysm in his owner’s suite.
“GRA-VY CHUG! GRA-VY CHUG! CHUG, CHUG, CHUG! WHOOOOOOOoooooooooo!!!”
“You fellers know I got hotdish waiting for after the game, right? Oh, you betcha!”
Oh goddammit.
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