- Lesser Footy – Now MOAR Than EVAR – May 30, 2020
- Lesser Footy May Day – How Many tWBS’s Shall There Be? – May 23, 2020
- Most Glorious Return and Regerts FOAR 2028-29 – May 2, 2020
Holy cats, y’all. No FITBAW. No Premiership. A handful of FA Cup ties that I could give two shits about. I have one Shitty Wolves hoopsball match to “enjoy” and otherwise…a vast desert of fuckall.
With that, I will repeat my pre-game query from last Sunday. Who are the coolest supporters of your various teams?
Everton Football Club
Helena Bonham Carter rates highest for me, though she is less confirmed a fan than Dame Judi Dench (who has taken her grandson to matches at Goodison). I don’t really know who Amanda Holden is (see pictured), but apparently she’s a big deal across the pond. Britain’s Got Talent or sommet like that. HEY FUCKADOOS – we know you got talent. Madchester of the 1980s/early 90s says hi. My personal favourite description of Joy Division comes from former producer/manager Rob Gretton, who called them “a genius and a handful of Man United fans.” Which Peter Hook felt was unfair – their drummer supported Macclesfield Town. Of course, the late, great Ian Curtis supported Man City, before they were even a little bit good.
As a child and teenager, I went through many highs and lows with Donks WOO!! The AFC title magic we pulled against #ThePauls was legendary. Of course, this was the pre-salary cap era, when the NFC giants regularly pushed the AFC’s shit in, come Owl time. Denver, being a one-man band prior to the arrival of Mike Shanahan and Terrell Davis, had…particularly rough times of it. As you may have heard a few times. Ask Homer Simpson, FFS. But to see Elle McPherson wearing the very same mango-coloured #7 jersey that I owned? SPLOOSH. That jersey (combined with sweat pants obvs) was my good luck outfit for exams. I…did nae look as good in it. There is no honourable mention here, Elle in a walk.
Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals
Perhaps no franchise is as universally loved as the #BFIB. Unless, of course, ur totes jelly smh. Some cool fans (like Mad Men’s Jon Hamm) are Missouri natives, but many more “Children of KMOX” are scattered across the South. You see, before streaming, you didn’t get a lot of teevee games. Braves and Small Bears on cable tended to be very sad affairs. But KMOX radio was available for hundreds, sometimes THOUSANDS of miles away after sunset (I forget why AM radio works this way for certain stations, but it did). So, I listened to games on my bedroom clock radio in Charlotte, North Cakalaky. I liked how they played (speed and defense, my only skills as a youth league player), and I listened avidly. Way after bedtime. My fandom was similar to the coolest of all #BFIB, the man I desperately wish would join our clubhouse – Billy Bob Thornton. He has even stopped into the radio broadcast booth a few times, giving his thoughtful comments on the team (he is no casual supporter) over several innings. Really, he should be in our booth full time. I would be so happy.
North Carolina State University
Very few people are dumb enough to CHOOSE this fandom. Most are alumni, as is Zach Galifianakis (one credit short of graduation – see here). Yes, he’s famous for “The Hangover” – but his supporting role on HBO’s “Bored to Death” is his very best work. Well, that and fx’s “Baskets” – which I loved in all its dark humour glory. PLEASE, go watch these shows on whatever streaming platform suits you. Anyway, Zach is a western North Carolina native, went to Shitty Wolves football games with his Dad growing up (just like me!), and still has great fondness for the Wolfpack. His uncle even once ran against Jesse Helms for US Senate. Very cool.
So…wut say yeeeeewwwww?
Balls’ La Liga Minuto
First off, I think the greatest fan/team matchup is Miranda Kerr and the Collingwood Magpies.
The fact that she looks completely opposite the typical Pies supporter makes her that special.
Back to regular matters.
Our dear Mr. Hippo does love his EPL and tends to forget about the other European leagues. Wait, in the post-Brexit world, the word “other” is unnecessary. Mr. Hippo forgets about the European leagues that are full of fun teams, thinly-veiled racism, and a dash of tribalism.
The big news midweek was Atlético Madrid crashing out of the Copa Del Rey after losing to third division side Cultural Leonesa from the city of León.
Diego Simeone took over the reigns at Atlético shortly after they last crashed out of the Copa to a third division side. Does this spell the end of his tenure?
It could happen. I picked Atlético to take La Liga this year and they have faded badly after a promising start. Simeone can’t seem to work the same magic as before with players that are not as talented as those on his previous teams. If Atlético don’t improve, this will be a VERY interesting summer on the red and white side of Madrid.
Meanwhile, it’s back to the old two-team race between Barcelona and Real Madrid to see who wins La Liga. Today, Barcelona visits Valencia in what will be Quique Setién’s first big test as coach. Well worth checking out on BeIn Sports at 7 AM Pacific.
The Italian, German, and French leagues also have attractive games available for viewing. I suggest you start watching those games/teams. In a few short years, Brexit will spell the doom of the EPL as we know it.
However, that’s a topic for another post. Perhaps we’ll do a roundtable about it. For now, forget about your troubles, grab a room temperature beer, and enjoy the day!