Sunday Gravy with yeah right: The Croque Madame

Good morning all.

Welcome back and damn glad to have you. It’s nice that you’ve taken a little time away from decontaminating your homes and shopping for surgical masks to spend a little quality time with some much needed gravy.

I appreciate it.

If you’re like me and you log in to [DFO] early in the morning even before having some breakfast, that photo up there may seriously fuck with you.

That my good friends is a croque madame and it’s goddamn delicious.

Let me give you a little insight in to my thinking process regarding ideas for Sunday Gravy.

Once the NFL season starts and Sunday Gravy goes on hiatus I go back to my favorite foods for football Sundays. I’ve mentioned this before, just because Sunday Gravy is taking a break that doesn’t mean that I do.

I cook EVERY Sunday.

Period.

While my offseason is going my brain never turns itself off. This is a blessing and a curse. More of a curse to be honest. I’m always looking out for menu ideas to feature on the next season of Sunday Gravy. I’ve got a notepad app on my phone that I’ll use to write down ideas. I’ve got a physical notepad next to my desktop computer at home for the same thing and of course I’ve got the internet for ideas.

Yes, I’m constantly haunted by this endeavor of mine.

Some of my fall back viewing channels are the food and cooking channels and I’ll get some inspiration from there too. Shit, just random conversations with some of the folks at work on foods they made or ate can bring inspiration as well.

It’s all gravy all the time.

While going over some notes I found one that read “All Sandwich Season of Sunday Gravy.” I thought that might be a little too narrow in scope for you good folks but it did cause me to write down a few sandwiches that I’ve been meaning to try.

This is one of them.

“Fucks a croque madame?” you may ask.

Well, obviously from the banner photo it looks like a sandwich that has an egg on top.

You are correct!

The croque madame is basically a toasted ham and cheese sandwich with some bechamel sauce on it, toasted under a broiler and then it’s topped with an egg.

A croque monsieur is the same thing without the egg. Like so.

French (obviously) in origin, this is bistro food. Plain, simple, rich and deeply satisfying.

My favorite part is it translates to Mr or Mrs Crunchy. Since croque means “Crunch” or “crunches”.

It’s a Missus Crunchy!

That fucking rules.

You may be asking yourself if we have a version of a Missus Crunchy in America. I guess technically a monte cristo sandwich is related but since it was “Americanized” and you know us Americans can fuck up anything, including a blow job, our version is battered and deep fried then coated with powdered sugar.

Jesus wept.

Actually the monte cristo is kind of tasty but not near as tasty as this fucker we got today.

Let’s make one shall we?

Yes. Let’s!

Croque Madame.

Bread

Ham

Cheese

Bechamel sauce:

Butter – 1 tablespoon

Flour – 1 tablespoon

Whole milk – 1 cup

1 bay leaf

Several additional tablespoons of butter

A fried egg.

I thought it was easier to give a general ingredient list since this is adaptable to taste. I used some Black Forest ham, Swiss cheese for the inside of the sandwich and this lovely cheese for the top.

That’s a lovely Emmentaler cheese from my local cheese monger. Excellent nutty notes and a flawless melt. This is the shit that goes on top of Mrs Crunchy.

I also procured some “artisanal” thick sliced white bread since my day-to-day whole grains and seeds bread would be a little too aggressive for this dish.

Let’s get started on the bechamel first.

Using a small sauce pan, add the butter and flour.

Damn skippy! We’re making a roux. You HAVE been paying attention.

Over medium heat melt the butter and combine with the flour. We’re not going to make the roux too dark today since it requires a delicate flavor. Just a few minutes and let’s be sure to keep the roux blonde.

Next, in goes the cup of whole milk and the bay leaf. Yes it needs to be whole milk.

Then we start building our bechamel. Lower the heat to medium low and stir, stir stir.

We’ve had the bechamel discussion many times. One of the mother sauces of French cuisines this bastard dates back centuries. You regular readers have seen me make this many times. It’s the starting point for the cheese sauce that I use in my macaroni and cheese, as well as the sauce for my gratin potatoes.

Many authentic lasagne recipes use this exact bechamel we are making today in their lasagne and it replaces the layer of riccotta other recipes use. After fucking around with this sauce I will be doing the same thing for my next lasagne. This shit is GOOD.

It’s going to take about 15 minutes give or take until the sauce reaches the proper viscosity.

Or if you want to fuck tradition and speed things along a bit use a pinch of that shredded cheese over there.

Yeah, that one. The Swiss dealie.

A pinch in this situation is about a tablespoon.

Now drop that in the bechamel and it will expedite the delivery process.

You want this thick enough to spread on the bread. A thin sauce would be bullshit.

This sauce was subtle enough that the herbal notes from the bay leaf shined right through. I guess if you’re making the Italian version for your lasagne you would replace the bay leaf with nutmeg. The rest remains the same.

While the sauce is getting bubbly go ahead and grate up your Emmentaler cheese.

Here it is whole.

And here it is grated.

I’m a big fan of most every cheese but have always been partial to the Swiss cheeses. I think it’s how delicate they are. This is a damn fine cheese.

It’s time to build!

Get yourself a nice skillet for griddling. Cast iron would be a good choice but since we’re finishing under the broiler, a non-stick skillet would do just fine. Get that skillet over medium heat and melt a tablespoon or 2 of butter.

Next grab a plate on which to assemble the beast and grab a couple of slices of bread.

Brush on a single layer of our freshly created bechamel.

I gave you a larger view so you can get a look at the texture of the sauce. I’m fucking thoughtful like that.

Next layer on some ham. I went with 4 thin slices per sandwich.

Black Forest ham has a good salt level without being too funky or overwhelming.

Drop some Swiss on there.

This was a pre-sliced cheese that I used for a consistent melt, texture and flavor for each sandwich.

Slap the other slice of bread on that fucker and get it into the hot skillet.

No magic tricks here folks, you’re making a fucking grilled ham and cheese sandwich. Cook each side to desired doneness.

When the second side has been toasted, remove to a plate and repeat the process for however many sandwiches you are making.

We’re going to finish toasting all of the sandwiches prior to finishing them under the broiler.

Second sandwich.

Finish all of the sandwiches, four today, and go ahead and get your egg cracked and ready.

Remember the trick about cracking the egg into a small bowl and then sliding the egg into the skillet? That’s what we’ll do here in a minute.

First let’s get the finishing touches on our sandwiches.

See what we’re doing here? We’re going to baste a pretty thick layer of bechamel on top of each sandwich. Next take a handful of the shredded cheese and put that on top of the sauce. Set your broiler to high and slap these motherfuckers under the broiler until the cheese is bubbly and melty.

It’s your broiler, man you can figure that out.

The finished Mr Crunchy!

The Croque Monsieur is an actual sandwich that does exist and this is it’s finished state. See how lovely that melted Swiss is there, just flirting with you sitting on top of that layer of bechamel?

You saucy wench!

In fact, eldest brother had this exact sandwich since he ain’t a fan of the egg.

Me? I’m going for the extra layer of goodness with the egg on top.

Fry up your egg according to preference.

It should be pretty goddamn self evident by now that I’m a sunny side up guy. Just cook my whites!

Now slide that fucker right on top of the sandwich.

Oh dear Jesus, just look at her.

Looking sexy Mrs Crunchy!

Real fucking sexy.

I cracked some black pepper over the whole shebang.

Look at that gorgeous fucking egg!

There’s a reason the expression “food porn” exists and this is pretty much that reason.

Gonna need a knife and fork for this one folks.

Fuck me! This damn thing is delicate yet filling, it’s subtle yet salty, delicious, gooey and rich. This eats like a damn meal. Despite the subtlety of bay leaves, that herbal note punches through big and strong.

When I saw the size of the bread that I purchased I was thinking everybody is going to devour at least 2 of these damn things.

Not necessarily. They are very filling and crazy satisfying.  I finished one and barely finished my half of the extra sandwich.

This will fill you up proper. We had a little side of macaroni salad and that’s all that we needed.

Shit yes.

Simplicity can also be satisfying.

Well folks that’s a wrap for today.

Please stay healthy out there, it’s a regular viral goddamn jungle.

I’m gonna let you get out of here now so you can get some breakfast.

See you next time.

PEACE!