Sunday Gravy with yeah right: Easter on Lock Down

yeah right

Good morning everybody!

Hope everyone is maintaining sanity and social distance. We’ve got to keep pushing on, it’s our only option.

I was mentioning the other day that I spend hours each day reading about our current world situation, not because I’m forced to but because I seek it out. When trying to read something else, maybe as a much needed distraction, it just seems so fucking insignificant in comparison. Last week I read this incredibly in-depth article from The Atlantic regarding what we are in store for, resetting expectations etc. The segment on resilience had this to say…

“During the Vietnam War, Vice Admiral James Stockdale spent seven years being tortured in a Hanoi prison. When asked about his experience, he noted that optimistic prison-mates eventually broke, as they passed one imagined deadline for release after another. Stockdale’s strategy, instead, was to meld hope with realism—“the need for absolute, unwavering faith that you can prevail,” as he put it, with “the discipline to begin by confronting the brutal facts, whatever they are.'”

That’s all we have.

We have to be realistic because there will never be a “Get back to normal” moment. There will only be a new normal whatever that is.

I don’t want to be a downer, in fact I want to use this more as a message of strength. We can and we WILL survive this.

Now let’s get back to business.

Welcome back to Sunday Gravy everybody!

Easter is another meal, like our Saint Patrick’s Day feature, that occurs every year on Sunday Gravy. Shit, I think there’s 5 years of them give or take?

And as keeping with tradition, the menu items don’t change a whole lot.

Here’s last year if you want to compare it to today’s banner image.

Looking kinda similar isn’t it? All the way down to the fresh rolls. No mac and cheese this year but another familiar dish.

First thing we have to take note of, most of the meal ingredients here were found on the first weekend of the pandemic. Eldest brother found the ham, in fact the entire meat section was empty that day with the exception of hams. I grabbed the fruit cocktail…

Yes really.

From my neighborhood 7-11 as it was one of the only canned food items left. I still had my last package of yeast – I’ve subsequently found more – along with plenty of flour for the rolls, and we lucked into potatoes and onion for the gratin potatoes. No goddamn garlic though and that’s still pissing me off. I’ll show you what I came up with as a quick fix for that a little later.

My primary point today is that we did have a delicious Easter ham dinner by everyone pitching in and being creative. Everything we made today has been featured on a previous episode or two so I’ll get you some new photos, a quick synopsis and we’ll do it that way.

One major difference today: it was just my two brothers and myself for dinner. I texted and chatted with eldest right and youngest right sent me some video of youngest granddaughter doing an Easter egg hunt in her living room. Fuck yes I missed the hell out of them not being there as they have been every year for-fucking-ever.

Not this year though. We’re taking this shit seriously.

Let’s get after this fucker.

I’ll do this in the order prepared.

Rolls!

3/4 cup of 95-100 degree water

1 package of dry active yeast

1/4 cup of sugar

1 teaspoon of salt

3 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour

1 beaten egg

2 tablespoons of room temperature butter plus 2 more tablespoons of melted butter for basting.

Get your yeast, sugar and warm water into your mixing bowl and let the yeast proof for 10 minutes.

Mix together the flour and salt and beat up that egg good and proper while the yeast is proofing.

Dump all of the ingredients right into that mixing bowl.

Get your hook attachment for the mixer and attach. Set the mixing speed to the first or second setting and let ‘er rip.

Action shot!

Set a timer for 10 minutes and let that mixer do all the goddamn labor for you. That’s why you paid as much as you did for it yes?

When the 10 minutes are up, remove the dough, shape into a lovely circular shape and place into a large bowl that’s been lubed with oil.

Cover with a clean kitchen towel and let rise in a warm place until the dough doubles in size. Anywhere from 1-2 hours. I had my stove going most of the day so no issues with the rise.

See!

After the dough has been risen, remove to a lightly floured surface thusly:

Slice the dough in 4ths, then slice each of THOSE into 4ths, yielding 16 little dough balls.

And (sighs) cover with a kitchen towel and let rise again. Yep, another hour.

Right before cooking they should look something like this.

Into a preheated 375 degree oven for 15 minutes. When done, baste the rolls with the remaining 2 tablespoons of melted butter and we got some gatdamn rolls.

I’m giving you the large photo because these came out fucking gorgeous.

Holy shit, yes! Damn near professional grade right there!

I went 11 for 16!

Let’s get to work on the ham.

Here’s what we scavenged this year.

I have no goddamn idea what a fucking “Crunchy glaze” entails and I sure as shit wasn’t about to find out today.

It came with a packet of goo that, needless to say, did not grace the outside of my fucking ham.

Let’s get a look at what we had to work with.

Yeah, that’s a pre “spiral sliced” ham and while I would normally prefer working with an unsliced version? We found a motherfucking ham in a pandemic! I ain’t gonna get too choosy.

That fruit cocktail I mentioned earlier provided the fruit juice for today’s glaze which was most goddamn certainly NOT of the “crunchy glaze” varietal.

For continuity sake I started this ham prep while the dough was doing its first rise.

Let’s make a bastardized glaze today. If you suspected that pineapple was not available then you’re one smart motherfucker.

Anybody else here fucked around with fruit cocktail when they were younger?

Ma used to add whipped cream and a sliced banana and call it “fruit salad.” My Grandmommie added coconut to the same concoction and called it “ambrosia.”

It was served straight up as is today as a side. We did need the juice from it though to make our glaze.

That got your attention now didn’t it?

Simple glaze today with the fruit juice, a tablespoon of Dijon mustard, a tablespoon of dark brown sugar and a couple of shots of bourbon. Mix well.

Place the ham flat side down in a baking pan and distribute the glaze evenly over the ham.

Cover the ham with foil and cook in a preheated 275 degree oven for 15 minutes per pound. This was about 9 pounds so it went for right at 2 hours.

While the ham is cooking and the rolls are on their final rise let’s make our tasty ass side dish for the day.

Gratin Potatoes! – ish

this would be the normal “non-pandemic” recipe 

2 pounds of peeled and THINLY sliced russet potatoes.

2 cloves of minced garlic (goddammit!)

1 pint of half and half

3/4 cup of grated Gruyère cheese.

A few slices of onion, thin sliced like the potatoes – I’ll get to that.

1/2 teaspoon of thyme

1/2 teaspoon of NUTMEG!

Some fresh grated Parmesan. Oh course it was Parmigiano Reggiano.

Salt and pepper to taste

Now let me show you how I did this version.

Peel your potatoes and get out the mandolin. Slice into a slightly lubed baking dish. First potato.

Then similarly slice a few slices of onion and follow with the last of the potato.

Mix together the half and half with the nutmeg, salt and pepper then add in the grated cheese. I had no luck finding Gruyère this year but DID manage to procure a very nice Dutch gouda that worked fine.

This is also where you would normally add your minced garlic (fuckers.) Since I was out I used 1/2 tablespoon of granulated garlic.

But I just couldn’t leave it at that! No fresh garlic? Fuck off!

Shifting the brain into overdrive mode I had to come up with something.

But what?

THEN! An epiphany! In my refrigerator right at this very moment was this…

A container of hummus with roasted garlic right in the middle!

Goddamn right I did!

I know, I know but it was better than just granulated garlic! Plus maybe a little hummus could do something? I don’t know what but it couldn’t hurt.

I added the garlic to the wet mixture and combined.

Pour this mixture evenly over the potato/onion and finish off with some grates of the parmesan.

These will cook in a 375 degree oven for 35-40 minutes.

Let’s get you the time sequencing for today’s meal:

Make the dough and while it’s doing its first rise, prep the ham and get in the 275 degree oven for 2 hours. Remove the ham and leave the foil cover on. Increase the oven temp to 375 and start cooking the potatoes. Fifteen minutes before the potatoes are done get the rolls in the oven allowing them to finish cooking at the same time as the potatoes.

That ham will stay plenty warm enough while finishing everything else. Let the potatoes cool for about 5-10 minutes and it’s fucking service time!

You know who would have been of help here? My son-in-law, He usually does all of the “holiday meat” slicing. I can’t slice a slab of meat for shit.

Anyway.

Cut out a wedge of that potato dish, get some ham on there, yes even grab a spoonful of the fruit cocktail and finally a couple of them rolls.

Yeah boy!

It was fucking delicious! Damn near brought tears to my eyes. That ham didn’t need no goddamn “crunchy” glaze when we can make our own.

Those potatoes were fantastic despite the glaring lack of garlic. Shit, even the fruit cocktail worked to cut the saltiness of the ham.

Them rolls though?

That’s the motherfucking money dish right there. Break one of them rolls in half then put a slab of that ham on there?

Perfect.

My bread game’s getting strong as shit y’all!

We did it!

This is top goddamn notch Easter family dinner here.

I miss my daughters and I miss my granddaughters and son-in-law but if all goes right? Maybe next year.

Be strong everyone.

Be well.

Endeavor to Persevere!

PEACE!

 

 

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yeah right
yeah right
yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. And always wanted to be an astronaut. And a cook. So he's cooking for astronauts now.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Meow

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Speaking of Hippo; I think I just watched his favorite movie; The Scheme.

Holy shit, the whole racket is basically what you all have been saying. I was not paying enough attention to be on one of the many sides, but this has pushed me to the side which I have suspected was right all the time.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11916278/

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

There appears to be a new restaurant down the street from me, which is so new it doesn’t even have a web site. This is either the strangest “soft opening” ever, or some kind of drug front.

(waits to see which drug-starved DFO’er offers to investigate first)

litre_cola

Where we orderin from?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wonder if they serve taco bowls……

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I like to complain with the best of them, but I don’t work in healthcare with direct contact with COVID-19 sick people or somebody who works in the grocery store who has contact with fucking everybody, including the asshole/ criminal protesters foil hat. The employers of these very people are betraying them in the name of shareholders.

Oh that cheery note; ON WITH THE GIFs AND DEAD SONY BONO JOKES!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

With no barber I am a month away from starting a garage band and really getting in to heroin.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan

Everyone agreed that Frank Burns started taking his “shower karaoke” sessions a little too seriously when he insisted that his duet partners bring a gun as a microphone prop.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Let’s see if Hippo judges this fetish!

Dunstan

That really should be a recurring DFO column: Hippo Judges Your Fetish.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

GROSS!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s what I said about my latest bottle of scotch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Do you think she is even a drummer?

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Mr. Ayo

She’s in perfect position for a rim shot.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Game Time Decision

Oook ook

Viva La Tabula Raza

beat me to it.

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s a BMW Isetta, which these days looks quite silly, but they are drawing big bids at the car auctions. Well, they WERE drawing big bids. Who know what’s gonna happen in the collector car market now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Great work with non-lockdown, available ingredients; better than many with all available during “normal” times.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Any of you SoCals seen this? I’ve watched a couple and like it so far.

ballsofsteelandfury

Oh yeah! I’ve seen them on YouTube. Those are awesome! It’s extra cool seeing the before when you’re familiar with the after.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Seems they’re also on Amazon Prime, but missing Season 2 there. Youtube apparently has them all. New rabbit hole for me, an old Inland Empire denizen.

ballsofsteelandfury

I didn’t know they were on Prime! Thanks for the tip!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Just the tip, I swear.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“You’ll only feel a slight pressure.”

Horatio Cornblower

Dog and I did 6+ miles through the woods today, and I think there’s a sociology thesis or two on the subject of ‘Why Horatio Is Finding More Nipper Bottles On The Side Of The Road These Days’, although also, the answer is pretty obvious.

BC Dick

Is a nipper bottle a Mickie or a jug of rice wine?

ballsofsteelandfury

Either way, I don’t like it!

– B. Parcells

Horatio Cornblower

It’s what we in Connecticut call those little one-shot bottles of liquor you see behind the shelf at liquor stores.

Unsurprised
Gumbygirl

My sister makes a cake with fruit cocktail. Basically pineapple upside down cake in a cast iron skillet, but with f.c. instead of canned pineapple. It’s not fancy, but it tastes pretty damn good! Where did you find yeast? I may make a pilgrimage down the hill this week, because I am nearly out of weed. Oh, the humanity!

litre_cola

My order with my bro in law has been delayed so I went to the dispensary and bought a crap batch. Trued a new strain and am less than impressed.

BC Dick

By delayed you mean some sticky fingered postie lifted it? I can’t see why else it would take so long. I’ll try another but if they get a taste for my return address I will need to work another method.

litre_cola

YOU GUESSED AT POSTAGE! A couple stamps, a panini Trevor Linden Sticker, some subway stamps and you thought you would be fine!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I dunno man, that seems like almost Trumpian favoritism. Like Rush Limbaugh getting the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Horatio Cornblower

If I were President when Rush Limbaugh died I would give cancer the Presidential Medal of Freedom the next day.

Viva La Tabula Raza

If your were president, we probably wouldn’t be in this situation.

Horatio Cornblower

You’re right.

Things would be so much worse.

ballsofsteelandfury

Restaurant industry tip: Have you ever heard the saying that you should never order fish on Mondays?

Traditionally, restocking happens on Monday/Tuesday. YMMV, but your best bets will be on Tuesdays.

BC Dick

Never heard that one. Will remember it, if I can. I don’t know what YMMV is but I’ll just order the fish Tuesday to Saturday.

ballsofsteelandfury

Your Mileage May Vary

Dunstan

I’m not saying he originated the expression, but Anthony Bourdain popularized it in Kitchen Confidential.

In one of his later books, he said that it’s kind of outdated now, at least in better restaurants, because they can get fresh fish every day now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, not RIGHT now….

Dunstan

Don’t be so sure. My favorite fishmonger is doing home deliveries or appearing at farmer’s markets every day. If I can get fresh fish every day as a home cook, I’m sure restaurants can (if their takeout service justifies making an order).

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, but you are a mobster.

rockingdog

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

Wow! I’d bury my face in your buns.. Wait, I mean rolls.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, I mean…

ballsofsteelandfury
Mr. Ayo

Those are some nice rolls.

scotchnaut

No superhero movie is complete until a random car flips over at least 4 times.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The laws of physics are overrated.

scotchnaut

/watching the Temple Grandin bio.

She’s a hero because she figured out a way to make cows more docile before they get bolted? Really?

herodotus450

Well she also figured out how to get pomegranites easily into cocktails.

litre_cola

10 am bottle of bubbles popped. This would be called boredom drinking.

scotchnaut

“I was flattening the curve and advocating distancing before it was cool.”

-Temple Grandine

scotchnaut

[watches Lawrence of Arabia]

“Oh, you sweet, sweet summer child!”

-Mark Sykes and Francois Georges-Picot

scotchnaut

Award-winning cinematographer of Lawrence of Arabia’s theme song? It’s gotta be “I Shot The (Omar) Sharif”, right?

/don’t forget to tip your sleeping camel

herodotus450

More like T&A Elliot amirit

Game Time Decision

Watching SUNDERLAND TIL I DIE and by far my favourite person is the lady cook. She cracks me up

litre_cola

That doco is fucking superb

Game Time Decision

Yes. Thanks for the suggestion

litre_cola

The Maradona in Mexico is fantastic too

scotchnaut

A thing that always, always makes me laugh? IASIP blooper reels. Especially Charlie Day throwing curveballs at the other cast members. “I don’t think he gets us, man” at 1:50 kills me every time. Just straight out of left field (notice how I stayed with the baseball thingy? [taps temple])

BC Dick

Fantastic stuff

rockingdog

Found a funny:

Dr: I was going to ask if you were sexually active but-

Me [wearing hot dog costume]: but what

scotchnaut

Oh, Lawrence of Arabia (also known as The Magical Caucasian) is on!

scotchnaut

I could use a breakfast martini. Not sure how the breakfast martini feels about that though.

Don T

Ask the martini about It over a beer.

scotchnaut

Yeah, yeah… Just a beer. No pressure, we’re just hanging out after all. Genius. All the ropes, pulleys and various contraptions? That’ll happen later. But, organically of course.

scotchnaut

I, um, well.

BeylesMuse

Not really apropos to anything, but good eats. Here’s to you Mr. Right.

BeylesMuse

BeylesMuse

What the mother effin, my link won’t post.

BeylesMuse

One more time:

BeylesMuse

I guess that’s what you get from working all night: true and outstanding incompetence.

Game Time Decision

One of us
One of us

scotchnaut

That’s a good point about the ham sitting out for awhile. Back in the day I would always panic when the turkey, ham, prime rib or roast was ready, thinking everything else (all the sides) had to be ready at that exact moment. Silly me didn’t realize that a. it needs to rest and b. they retain heat for such a long time.

Dunstan

Yeah, for Thanksgiving I have a now-standardized timeline created by picking the mealtime, counting backward for each dish’s prep, cook, and rest time, with adjustments for “the oven can’t be two temperatures at once” and “the cook can only do three or four things at once.” Figuring out which things you can do the day(s) before is a big help, too.

Gumbygirl

I would be embarrassed to tell you how many years it took me to figure out there is a timer right there on the microwave!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My trick is to have nothing timed correctly and just go ahead and eat single items all day long….

Game Time Decision

Uh, you need time to make the (Sunday) gravy, so of course the meat needs/gets to rest.

There was one year when trying out a new recipe for the turkey at Christmas that the bird was done 2+ hours before dinner. It was still warm at dinner.

scotchnaut

That there is the other thing that needs to be taken into account-even if the bird is barely above room temperature, the gravy being hot makes the bird’s temp a non-issue.