Eventual Balls Thoughts XIX

I cannot more emphatically endorse the latest posts from Senor Weaselo on Marble Racing. OMG you guys, you have to check them out! The videos are a lot of fun and the announcer is really good at making the action interesting.

It’s part art vérité, part satire, and part genuine excitement. It’s pure genius, is what it is.

To whet your appetite, I’m embedding a couple of the latest videos.

These are the Marble League 2020 Qualifiers that Weaselo recapped in his post this week:

and here are the Friendly matches that he also recapped in the last post:

***

The Week in DFO

Here are the things I read in DFO this week that reminded me how much I love this site:

Shit, I just remembered someone we should have posted on the tWBS memorial sexy friday thread–

BFC

***

Wife is playing Erasure in the kitchen, Gonna get pegged.

SonOfSpam

This comment really needs an exclamation point at the end.

Balls

WE’LL BE TOGETHER AGAIN!!!

SonOfSpam

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Brick
h/t Brick

***

LOL

FRASIER: Niles, it’s the darnedest thing. You see these protesters—

MARTIN: you mean hooligans

FRASIER: protesters, Dad. They’ve taken over 6 city blocks. They’re calling it the “Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone”

NILES: *shocked* the…CHAZ?

DAPHNE: *walking in* I dated a Chaz once.

rockindog

***

You’d think the world and America could all come together on sprots for their similar hatred and bafflement at video review refs.

herodotus450

What in the actual fuck was that?

Mr. Ayo

At some point the players will have to have their arms removed from the shoulder down to be able to play. And they will still get hand ball calls.

ArmedandHammered

The Rwandan national team says hold our beer!

/literally, they could use a hand

King Hippo

***

h/t Moose

***

Hello, American Investors!

I have a great business opportunity for you all today. Don’t you hate it when you eat too much food and get fat? Well I’ve developed a special elixir uses enzyme action to dissolve calories from food, even after you’ve eaten it! That’s right Billy, just take 4-6 servings of this drink I call “gin” after every meal, and you’ll be fighting fit.

herodotus450

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose

***

Anyone ever visited the Russian Far East? Thinking about planning out a trip once the Covid-19 wraps up.

Spur

Going to Eastern Russia? What are you, a dissenting member of the Communist Party?

herodotus450
Moose

***

Moose

That’s a trap for sure.

WCS

***

h/t Moose

***

Dilbert used to have a character Phil the Prince of Insufficient Light and Ruler of Heck, who wielded a pitchspoon and caused minor mayhem but nothing like the hellfires of Satan — Rob Manfred is essentially the “Phil” of sports commissioners.

Downfield Matriculator

***

Sedentary Lifestyle: leads to poor circulation

Alcohol in the bloodstream: dilates blood vessels, increasing circulation

Problem solved.

herodotus450

***

h/t Moose

Kamikaze Kitty!

Mr. Ayo

In Soviet Russia, pussy pounds you!

Redshirt

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Unsurprised
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose

***

Not gonna lie-this new iPhone is just as good at preventing my friends from contacting me as the other 5 versions were.

scotchnaut

***

More from BRICK’S BOOKSHELF

Brick

Trash

Hey, someone bought my autobiography.

herodotus450

***

Today is National Bourbon Day.

That’s right, bourbon. Brownest of the brown liquors. What’s that? You want me to drink you?

Dunstan

Turns into National Bourble Night.

Gumbygirl

***

h/t Horatio

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose

***

I LOVE MXC MONDAYS!!!

Balls

[watches clip]

Really? But there’s no anal!

scotchnaut

It’s in the subtext

Balls

“I spent 8 months working in a secret government subtext. Adore me.”

-Barnacle Heatbook

scotchnaut

***

h/t Unsurprised

***

My sonny boy starts his first day of work in the family business. He’s 4th generation. He’s probably completely fucked.

scotchnaut

Give him an old one to kill first. Preferably mostly passed out.

SonOfSpam

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose

***

One of the highlights of the whole #rampgate business was seeing somebody point out that the president who could get down a ramp the fastest was FDR.

RTD
h/t RTD

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Unsurprised
h/t Moose

***

h/t Moose

THIS GIF I CALL IT THE BIDEN CAMPAIGN CAUSE IT’S CAUSING A BIG TENT TO BE PITCHED.

RTD

***

[The Cowboys] released a statement saying they have done nothing…

I’ll take things typically associated with the NFLPA for $400, Alex

BFC

[The Cowboys] released a statement saying they have done nothing [since January 1996]

Gratliff

***

h/t Unsurprised
h/t Unsurprised
h/t Unsurprised
h/t Unsurprised
h/t Moose
h/t Moose

***

h/t Moose

It’s Redshirt!

Unsurprised

***

h/t Moose

***

So apparently you can get a Zoom call with Brett Favre for $5,000.

https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/16/business/cameo-zoom-appointments/index.html

It’s $10,000 if you want him fully clothed.

Dunstan

$2000 per inch is a lot.

SonOfSpam

***

found a funny:

me: [snuggled in bed] oh wow this is nice

legs: omg so warm

feet: omg so warm

hands: omg so warm

bladder: hey guys

rockindog

***

h/t Moose

***

h/t Moose

“*sob* It’s everything I ever dreamed of! Literally!” — J. Sandusky

Dunstan

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t me (Y’all need to read Weaselo’s post and watch Marble League!)

***

There’s no way Ford didn’t know that was OJs birthday. Brilliant marketing move.

Sharkbait

Agree; cold and effective branding. Morbid AF.

Don T

***

h/t Moose

***

/ found a funny

In a controversial move, streaming services will now edit out all of the racial jokes from the Mel Brooks classic “Blazing Saddles”. The newly re-edited film will air Saturday evening from 8:00 PM to 8:07 PM.

Redshirt

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose

***

Did anyone else get an error message for the Maestro’s CFL post?

Gumbygirl

You have to go to your browser settings and check the “Enable Socialism and Rogues” box.

herodotus450

You may also have to enable the extra “u”s as well

Game Time Decision

That post has been taken down by court order for violating Canada’s Official Secrets Act. I think maybe it explained what a rouge is or something.

Dunstan

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose

***

Did you hear MLB is going to have advertising on the player’s uniforms? NOOOOOOOI! Unless it says Chico’s Bail Bonds, I want no part of it.

Gumbygirl

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Don T
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose

***

I’m really curious who was the first person to think, “You know what this yummy alcohol needs? Egg!”

Balls

Right? I’m sure it was a relative of the guy who looked at a lobster and said “I wonder if this ocean bug tastes good”

Sharkbait

I’m guessing that it was a bunch of drunks and someone was dared to crack an egg into their drink and it went from there.

Alcohol is the same thing to me.:

Scene- day time, outdoors, thousands of years ago:

I put in fruit\grain\leaves or whatever into this jar with water a few weeks ago. it’s bubbling, had a different coloUr and has scum at the top. I should drink it

Gane Time Decision

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose

***

h/t Moose

Ice cream sandwich on a stick? Isn’t that redundant?

Senor Weaselo

***

h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Gratliff
h/t Moose
h/t Moose

***

H/t to Brick for introducing us to Ghettopoly and Redneckopoly

***

h/t Brocky
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Brick

***

When cheering for ‘Freiburg’ should one raise a lit lighter?

scotchnaut

***

h/t Moose

***

Here’s this week’s Balls’ Choice from Request Line:

h/t Game Time Decision

***

Thank you to everyone one for providing quality laughs and gifs/pics to look at. And now, back to playing with my new toy!

h/t Moose

Have a great week!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Cats, dogs, they’re both useless. Yet, I love them.

King Hippo

I am gobsmacked that the Deep South is cat-friendly. ASHAMED at yeeewwww, North Cakalaky.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That shows you we really need to replace Electoral College.

Gumbygirl

I bet a good 75% of Nextdoor posts in my Birmingham neighborhood were cat related. The others were about big trash pickup day or landscaping stuff. Occasional racist dogwhistles about “suspicious” people in the hood, but those got shot down pretty quickly.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Thanks to the events in Tulsa, I had a pretty wonderful weekend. I suppose it was too much to ask that I get wins out of Team Galactic and Essendon too. Thought it would have been nice for Essendon to have even played at all.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And one of the great things about marble racing is that it’s a good reminder of how ridiculously silly sports fandom is, even though sports themselves are awesome.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

M&M colors average per 32 oz. bag.

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Dunstan
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Game Time Decision

The NBA morphed into Galaga so slowly, that I didn’t even notice.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, I noticed.

Dunstan

I can’t bring myself to watch those Friendly marble matches. The marbles just don’t try as hard when there’s nothing at stake.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The marbles of color are taking a tangent.

Sharkbait

ALL MARBLES MATTER !!!1!1!1

King Hippo

Great FOAR getting long-term injured marbles back to full fitness, mind.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Ha! Marbles/ Balls…..Marblesofglassandfurry.

I think the Howard Hughes’ The Outlaw one was by someone else.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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