INTERIOR – SOFI STADIUM LOCKER ROOM, LOS ANGELES, CA – SUNDAY AFTERNOON
[LOCKER ROOM DOOR FLIES OPEN]
DR. DAVID CHAO: [Visibly stumbling] HI [hic] EVERYSSBODYSSS!
[The locker room is empty and offers no response]
DR. DAVID CHAO: Oh, a little [hic] alonesh time for the [hic] Doctor and hsssh patient! [Pulls out flask and eyes it closely] It lookshh to me like you [hic] have too mushhh [hic] fluid in your body! [Removes cap and takes a long drink] WHOW! Thashh what I call [hic] surgery!
[DR. CHAO scans the room, squints, recoils slightly and then sighs and smells the flask]
DR. CHAO: Musssta mixed up my [hic] meda-shin again, becaush that [hic] man lookshhh like hesh from my [hic] night-marshhh…
BOLTMAN: GREETINGS INEBRIATED AND DISGRACED HUMAN PHYSICIAN CHAO!
DR. CHAO: Halllll[hic]oooooo nightmare man!
BOLTMAN:BOLTMAN HAS BROUGHT YOU HERE FOR A PURPOSE! DOES YOUR FEEBLE MIND RECALL IT?!
DR. CHAO: [Struggling to think] Toooooo…. Uhhh[hic]hhhh… Do [hic] harm?
BOLTMAN: [Does the splits] OOOOOHHHHHHHHH YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH [Does a back flip to land on his feet] AND FOR THAT, BOLTMAN HAS BROUGHT YOU TOOLS!
BOLTMAN: NOW, SO YOU MAY GET CLOSE, BOLTMAN MUST DISGUISE YOU AS THE ABYSMAL HERETIC HEALER!
DR. CHAO: [Swaying more] Whhaatttt happ’n to [hic[ him?
[The looker behind where BOLTMAN is standing has been leaking blood for some time]
BOLTMAN: BOLTMAN IS RUNNING OUT OF TIME! THIS WILL CAUSE YOU TREMENDOUS PHYSICAL AND MENTAL PAIN!
DR. CHAO: [Holds up finger] One sheeeck-end…[Takes another long draw from his flask] Okaysh, LIGHT ME [hic] UP BABYYY!
[BOLTMAN picks up DR. CHAO and throws him in the adjacent locker behind him. Placing each hand on a locker door, a surge of electricity emanates into the metal and both begin to shake violently. After a few moments,..]
[LOCKER DOOR FLIES OPEN]
DISGUISED DR. CHAO: HI [hic] EVERYBODY!
[The looker room is empty once more and offers no reply]
DR. CHAO: That hurt worshh than [hic] the time I gave myshelf a [hic] hysterectomy…
[LOCKER ROOM DOOR FLIES OPEN]
ANTHONY LYNN: There you are! Doc, my starting quarterback is having some chest pain. Come on!
DR. CHAO: Doctor Feelgood [hic] coming rightsh up!
Dr. Chao(s) as Boltman’s sidekick would be magnificent!
Is Tyrod suing? Because he should be suing.
I prefer he hires a hit person who “sends a message.”
“I’m [hic] the best ortho-pediatric surgeon in [hic] town!”
THIS TYROD TAYLOR, BY NEXT WEEK I’M GONNA HAVE TO START CALLING HIM MR. MCGREG.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYMaq1oZDz4
Perfect; NFL accidental shanking.
“I’m the greatest coach of all-time-I’ve led three different teams to a Stanley Cup victory. I’ve got 9 altogether. Come at me…”
-S. Bowman
“Come on Scotty, this way.
“I mish [hic] Belize.”
Could have ended it right there and I would have been just as happy. I hope for our sake, (and definitely not for the Charger players sake), that Dr. Chao becomes a regular.
All I asked was “would you start Justin Herbert this week”?
Bro, like totally I can dial up a play after these sick waves. Weed is cool right? I mean Doc I totally like will like need a shot for my pee like.
I am. It’s not like Carolina has a defense.