Did I “watch” football this weekend? Not really. A couple plays here and there but, overall, I didn’t pick good games to broadcast on the teevee, it seems. Perhaps if [DFO] still offered those 506 maps, I could prepare a little better. No matter — the important thing is everyone realize nothing is my own fault.
Gif-wise, we’re hanging in there. You folks are spinning some Rumpelstiltskin style magic with what 2020 is giving a feature that predominantly focuses on the humours and pains of the quote-quote-unquote-quote gameday experience. So thanks for the effort on that end; it’s not lost here in the glitz and glamor that is blaxabbath’s Vegas life.
We hit the word count? No one cares; doesn’t matter. Please find below your Week 3 Quotables submissions (with bonus #content)
I guess even undrafted middle linebackers from BYU with a speed addiction can find work after football.
Believe it or not, this is only the second-worst thing that’s happened this week to a MAGAt who traveled from DC to Minnesota.
The world is a weird place, but I didn’t think it was a “Leon Lett/Don Beebe cosplay” kind of weird.
“I haven’t seen a Bengal take a shot like that since Joe Exotic’s cubs got too old to pet.”
“I got 99 problems, and this bitch is all of them.”
“Same old Patriots, still trying to deflate balls.”
Gender reveal party at Minnesota cousin/ wife house.
In Norse mythology, Odin’s goats carry you to Valhalla and the Atlanta Falcons carry you to Hell (via Megatron’s Butthole)
Re: banner pic
I haven’t see a big cat from Cincy take a shot like that since Harambe!
Are you mixing up murdered species?
Or just trying to bring back Jazz Talk (TM)?
Don’t question his methods. If the guy wants to stroke out to post, then he can do so.
hey missed this yesterday — lions and tigers are both big cats. Too soon?
Anyway, Jazz Talk can be back any time Hidey Hidey Hidey Hay
/learned all Jazz Talk from the Blues Brothers
JaMarcus Russell and Darren Sharper’s first week as the P*triots’ new waterboys
This is all the evidence I need that we need to bring back targeting the head.
Grumblelord? More like Grundlelord.
/shows self out
RRRRRRRAM IT!
Weirdest bar mitzvah ever
“Spot on impression of Tom in bed.”
–Gisele
Shit like this wouldn’t happen if he spent more time catching fish
“I’m telling you Cam, you can got to Arizona State University and get a world class education.”
I know an Auburn grad making obscenely more than I make with his construction management degree
Meanwhile, the international business major is a literal millionaire.
It’s Cincinnati, so we’re lucky this didn’t just start another race riot.
Would anyone have noticed?
Leastmode!
Hepatitis CTE
This is not the “bitchin’ camaro” Joe Biden was expecting to find in his wife’s search history.
I hope that’s not a Viking funeral for Beansie or Mr. Winkles…
“I’ll just nope out of here if you continue with that TB12 sales pitch.”
“This video will be removed because it doesn’t meet our search standards for “Black guys pulling a train in Wisconsin.”
-PornHub Admin
Another mildfire outbreak
“That will be a roughing the passer penalty if you survive your rookie season, Burrows.”
I really love this hit.
They did actually throw the flag on this, which is some bullshit.
With a little darker of a tan, this GIF wouldn’t be here, just another headline “MAN DIES OF SEVEN JUSTIFIED GUNSHOTS TO THE BACK”
It would be more of an insult and the right thing to do to have the jersey worn by a homeless alcoholic, but these are Vikings fans after all.
Ah, that burning sensation when you fuck with Cousins. Oh, just mine likes to fuck people in different cities.
ALL PLAYERS MUST BE LAZER FOCUSED THE ENTIRE GAME!!
The black ones anyway, because they are not “just having fun out there” or “bring a youthful exuberance to the game that is more and more of a business.”
Guess it should be more ‘funny’ than ‘fuck you.’
“Welcome to this is your life, Joe Burrow!”
Florida cops tackle better than the Jets
The white guys are like, why is this known as the Don Cornelius?
You take the low road,
I’ll take the high road,
and I’ll be in the endzone before ye!
Shit, he be talking about Amway again, time to slide right on out of here.
NICE!
The DeVos family didn’t build a fortune taking no for an answer and …
The Parscale one:
”Looking every bit like a man whose forward progress has stopped.”
I guess when it comes to “is anyone behind me?” DK stands for “Doesn’t Know”
Haven’t seen Cousins flame out like that since Rudy Giuliani’s second marriage.
With the game well in hand, it was finally time for Cam Newton to perform his famous “Whitney Houston in a bathtub” impression.
God DAMN!
GIFSOUND!
https://rb.gy/vv8qd1
Ignore the first link.
Trust me, it’s worth it (and SFW)
h
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show off
This is why you throw away the ball when you can
-Trent Green in a sudden moment of clarity
Touchdown Seahawks
or
Roughing the passer, he clearly did not have the ball
-ref
I’m telling you, man, Brady wanted to be kissed on the lips.
Tongue?
fuck ya
-yeah right