Your “What’s Old Is New Again, Again” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

It’s funny that Halloween was last Saturday, because one of my old story topics is making a return appearance to an NFL roster.

That’s right, 41 year-old Josh McCown is getting the phone call he wasn’t waiting for to return to the league. The Texans have apparently signed him to be DeShaun Watson’s backup. He was staying at home but on the Eagles practice squad as an emergency “in-case” option, and earning $12,000 per week for the privilege. But the fact that Houston is apparently two hours drive from his home means he’ll get to earn a nine-week percentage of the league-minimum $1.045 million, while watching the carnage Bill O’Brien left behind plays its way out.

Besides the Eagles, he has also played for the Jets, Browns, Buccaneers, Bears, 49ers, Panthers, Dolphins, Raiders, Lions and Cardinals. The Texans are his 12th NFL team, and he has only played for two above-.500 teams in his entire career.

Colin Kaepernick, meanwhile sits at home wondering why the phone doesn’t ring, but smiling at pictures of Donald Trump breaking down at press conferences.


NFL Broadcast maps: (courtesy 506sports.com)

CBS EARLY

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu

Baltimore @ Indianapolis – Ian Eagle, Charles Davis

Detroit @ Minnesota – Kevin Harlan, Trent Green

Denver @ Atlanta – Greg Gumbel, Rich Gannon

Houston @ Jacksonville – Spero Dedes, Adam Archuleta

——————————————-

CBS LATE

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu

Pittsburgh @ Dallas – Jim Nantz, Tony Romo

In-game action:

  • Does Hippo have odds on a drunken Jerry bursting into the box begging Romo to return?
  • Over/under on crowd shots of “Tony Come Back” signs? – 4.5

Miami @ Arizona – Andrew Catalon, James Lofton

——————————————-

FOX SINGLE

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu
Carolina @ Kansas City – Kevin Burkhardt, Daryl Johnston
NY Giants @ Washington – Kenny Albert, Jonathan Vilma
Seattle @ Buffalo – Chris Myers, Brock Huard
Chicago @ Tennessee – Dick Stockton, Greg Jennings
Las Vegas @ LA Chargers (LATE) – Joe Davis, Mark Schlereth


Tonight’s sports:

  • NCAA:
    • Texas A&M at South Carolina – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • Baylor at Iowa State – 7:00PM | FS1
    • UCLA vs Colorado – 7:30PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
    • Clemson at Notre Dame – 7:30PM | NBC
    • Stanford at Oregon – 7:30PM | ABC
    • Tennessee vs. Arkansas – SECNetwork / TSN4
    • Washington State at Oregon State – 10:30PM | FS1
    • Washington at California – 10:30PM | ESPN
  • Fisticuffs:
    • PBC Fight Night:
      • Luis Ortiz vs. Alexander Flores – 8:00 PM | FOX
    • UFC Fight Night:
      • Santos vs. Teixeira: From Las Vegas
        • Prelims – 8:00 PM | ESPN+ / TSN
        • Main card – 10:00 PM | ESPN2 / TSN

Oh, and just like four years ago, Dave Chapelle is hosting SNL. This time, the Foo Fighters are the musical guest.

It’s looking like a solid Saturday night. Don’t get into too much bourble.

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Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Mr. Ayo
yeah right

I still swear to this oh my God. If you say his name. Three times. Oh my God. He appears.

I’ll go first.

MOOSE!

Mr. Ayo

MICE!

ThurberHerder

For God’s sake will SOMEONE end this thread!

Mr. Ayo

MIMES!

Mr. Ayo

MIKES!

Mr. Ayo

MILES!

Mr. Ayo

MINES!

Mr. Ayo

MITES!

Mr. Ayo

MIRES!

Mr. Ayo

MOPES!

Mr. Ayo

MOTES!

Mr. Ayo

MOKES!

Mr. Ayo

MOSES!

Mr. Ayo

MOLES!

Mr. Ayo

MODES!

Mr. Ayo

MORES!

Mr. Ayo

MOVES!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo

Where’s the meat hook?

Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo

That’s worse than I thought.

Not sure why I expected better though.

Senor Weaselo

Otto! Wait fuck.

Brick Meathook

Say my name once and I appear, unlike some other ghosts who’s names I won’t mention. . .

SonOfSpam

Chapelle fucking killed his monologue.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Dang, they aren’t bleeping the N-bombs, they’re even spelling them out on the DirecTV subtitles.

Last edited 4 months ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Mr. Ayo

Naggers?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Nope, full blown like he was an Alabama sheriff, no asterisks or anything.

SonOfSpam

I think that means we get to say it now.

Mr. Ayo

Finally, I can get some fucking Nuggets.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Year old tagalongs are still better than think mints

Gratliff

So this is how you drag me into the kommentist fight tonight

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Look, Samoas are the only truly great girl scout cookie. I went a different direction tonight and it only further solidified my convictions.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Love how they did the Top Gear “Loser” L across the forehead.

Dunstan

Rumor has it that Fox News has suspended Jeanine Pirro, because she planned to do a full-on “election fraud” freak-out tonight.

Gratliff

Given that she was probably on the doorstep of a major appointment, I’m not surprised

Dunstan

I’m sure Trump would have loved to give her a federal judgeship, but I doubt Cocaine Mitch would allow it.

SonOfSpam

I feel bad for her corkscrew tonight.

Viva La Tabula Raza

She strikes me more as an Ernest & Julio box o’ wine type.

Mr. Ayo

She could have made a lot of money freaking out in a different way. Alas.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Taken the Kim Guilfoyle route, right?

Mr. Ayo

I mean, when the profitable path is already blazed, why not follow it?

Gratliff

I don’t know who any of these cast members are except Kenan Thompson, cursed to walk the lands as a sketch comedian

Viva La Tabula Raza

Seems there are a lot of them. I haven’t watched the show in years, just the sketches posted the next day.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

In the spirit of building bridges and mending fences, I’m going to eat a girl scout cookie that isn’t a samoa

SonOfSpam

And I’ll eat a Samoan that isn’t a girl scout.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Stay away from my little sister, mofo.
—DJ Uiagalelei

yeah right

That’s a bold step!

Gratliff

I’m seeing a lot of chatter about Chapelle doing a monologue which was apparently not aired here?

Gratliff

Or wait, this is a tape delay. What the fuck.

Gratliff

Is that Jim Carey?

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s my guess.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Look, Jim Carrey isn’t sure either

Brocky

yes. he’s been playing biden for a few months now

Brocky

gotta stay up….
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Mr. Ayo

Bravo

ballsofsteelandfury

Wow

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I feel like Taco Bell should try to monetize this “Stop the Steal” movement that redhats are getting all riled up about.

Horatio Cornblower

Chappelle is openly smoking cigarettes on stage. Is that even legal in NYC?

Viva La Tabula Raza

San Antonio NBC affiliate is showing the local news. fuckers.

Brocky

same in Chicago.

I’m just curious how they handle the election

Horatio Cornblower

It’ll be even more interesting to see how they handle the N-word, because he’s dropped it twice so far and nothing got beeped.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Ad just came on saying it’s upcoming, so I guess we’re going to get SATURDAY NIGHT TAPE DELAY!!
Fuck it, I’m gonna watch a game warden show on Animal Planet, and catch all the best bits online tomorrow.

Last edited 4 months ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THESE LOCAL NETWORKS I CALL THEM GRUDEN GRINDERS CAUSE THEY ARE UP LATE AT NIGHT GRINDING TAPE

Viva La Tabula Raza

So the local news guy says “Coming up SNL in it’s entirety, with Dave Chapelle. He might have some interesting things to say.”
And now it’s on…

Gratliff

Just saw a bunch of Death Cultists from the state house encouraging the dipshit MAGA protests going on, and it reminded me that they aren’t doing a fucking thing to try to curtail COVID in Michigan despite the fact that we’ve returned to exponential growth.

2020-11-08 00_00_07-Coronavirus in Michigan_ Maps, charts and the latest reports - Waterfox Current.png
Viva La Tabula Raza

I stocked up on asswipe and disinfectant and a few other things at the grocery today. Third wave is gonna be a bitch.

ballsofsteelandfury

I ordered industrial toilet paper today. The last box lasted me six months.

Viva La Tabula Raza

A dozen rolls of the Charmin extra gentle lasts me six months, I have 18 rolls.

ballsofsteelandfury

You must not eat at Taco Bell…

Viva La Tabula Raza

Is that a statement, or is that a strong suggestion? Don’t matter, I’m in San Antonio, Taco Bell here is Mexican food for transplants from the northern tier states.

ballsofsteelandfury

Hey, I’m probably considered a bad Mexican because I like Taco Bell. I just don’t consider it Mexican food. It’s “Taco Bell”. It’s its own “food” group.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I call it Mexican for Gringos. I used to indulge on occasion before I had my gastric bypass, not since. But I never had the shits or anything that a lot of folks claim as a result of ingesting.

Last edited 4 months ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If they haven’t gotten scarce again yet, BUY A BIDET. I cannot endorse these things highly enough.

Gratliff

I actually installed one of the nicer bidet attachments a few months ago, and it’s gotten rave reviews.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We bought the cheapest one we could find on Amazon, and within two weeks we’d ordered another one for the upstairs toilet.

Mr. Ayo

Heated water matter or no?

Gratliff

A lot of them have heated water and heated seats

Mr. Ayo

Right, but I live in an apartment and there’s no power outlet next to my poop abode. Just curious if unheated water source is good enough.,

Gratliff