As many of you know, Britt Reid was arrested on suspicion of driving while impaired last Thursday after he collided with two cars that were stopped on a freeway entrance ramp. One of the cars contained two children, ages 4 and 5. The five year-old remains in critical condition after suffering life-threatening injuries. We’re not much for “thoughts and prayers” here at DFO – we mostly just make jokes – so many of the commentists, led by co-MVPs Horatio Cornblower and Mr. Ayo saw fit to remind the world just how much of an irredeemable piece of shit Britt Reid happens to be while the world watched the Tampa Bay Buccaneers absolutely humiliate the Kansas City Chiefs in the Super Bowl.
Anyhow, here are all the jokes. Sorry if I missed any, there were a TON.
Rereading all these at once is….even funnier than in real time.
“I remember a time when a “line backer coach” was a mentor that taught you how to snort cocaine.” #staystrongBritt
-Michael Irvin
By the way – anyone here seen “Resident Alien”? I’m wondering whether it’s worth the torrent, because on one hand – Alan Tudyk in a black comed, but on the other – SyFy’s been a shitty channel prone to nuking what little good programming it has (BSG,Expanse,SG:A/SG-1, Dark Matter, Happy!) while letting crap like Sharknado or Van Hesling/Wynonna Earp/Killjoys go on for season after season …………….
I DVR’d the premiere, didn’t watch it, and deleted it from continued recording. So, no.
I mean, Jeebus. If Everton manage to score FIVE SOCCER POINTS and not win??
Holy Shit
this Impeachment Trial has NOTHING
on the OJ Trial
like THIS is a High Quality Mulit-Media Presentation
OJ Trial is poopin compared to this
Tom Brady delivering a pretty solid Britt Reid impression here:
<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>I guess his sea legs aren’t what they used to be… <a href=”https://t.co/44K42bWPMe”>pic.twitter.com/44K42bWPMe</a></p>— Joey Knight (@TBTimes_Bulls) <a href=”https://twitter.com/TBTimes_Bulls/status/1359597837701545990?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>February 10, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>
https://mobile.twitter.com/TBTimes_Bulls/status/1359597837701545990
What the fuck, come on, twitter.
https://twitter.com/TBTimes_Bulls/status/1359597837701545990
Champa Bay
Put him in the brig until he’s sober.
thats ROCKING
Pretty close to Everton time WOO!!!!!!!!
It’s just the FA Cup, so … who cares?
… now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go back to crying in the corner until kickoff…
On second thought, you’re right. Mickey Mouse cup off to Footy Manager land!
… uhh, did we get into a “cigar question” type of misunderstanding I had with Dunstan or what?
Edit: AH, nevemind
Posted at 21:18
21:18
GOAL – Everton 0-1 Tottenham… wow, just like with Arsenal, you lads managed to concede before I could even find which channel has the best coverage of the game (aka which one had the pitch-side ambience audio channel) XD
it was sadistically easy, now Mourinho-ball to the death awaits. Might not be another shot on target.
^ This comment didn’t age well (to yer utter delight), eh?
to my astonishment, rebooting ESPN+ now
aaaaaannnnnnd back off
… no
fucking
wae
we are just vile shite at the back today, and MAYBE Bitter Blues will also appreciate Jordan Pickford a bit more now.
GOAL – Everton 4-4 TottenhamSo, uhh… wellness check tiem… ?
God still hates Hippo? CHECK.
Dunno, he seems to be at least ambivalent about you at this point 😀
just wants it to hurt MOAR, you see, plus has interrupted my FM concentration to where I am stuck just starting at LiveScore
Don’t worry about FM, you just got an unanimous vote of confidence, so yer gonna get fired soon already :p
We just opened Bernard Gilkey Park! I. Am. Legend.
Playing in easy mode is only “legendary” when you’re a game journo :p
So apparently Bruce Springsteen was arrested in November for driving under the influence in a federal park in New Jersey.
“Yeah, but he didn’t take pills or put a child in the hospital. Amateur” — Britt Reid
Goddamn, people, that was some good hustle.
/smacks Britt Reid’s car keys out of his hands, hard.
Some of these should have come with a warning.
Much like the warning that you shouldn’t mix alcohol and prescription medicine and then drive.
Looking at you, Britt Reid, you piece of shit.
Should have been Roger Goodell.
Driving or injured or both?
You ever see The Happening where there is a tear in the jeep soft top?
That’s what I’m talking about.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8_LI3bePYg
Along the more important questions like “How?”, “why?”, “WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!” and “Zooey Deschanel used to look nice” … I must ask, given that a car’s not hermetically closed (and that’s not exactly uncommon knowledge), how the fuck was the tear in the soft top of the car relevant at fucking all?!
The ending with the dying frenchies did almost redeem the movie, tho 😀
So let me make sure I have this right:
Roger Goodell: National disgrace
Gary Bettman: Regional disgrace
Britt Reid: Giant fucking waste of a disgrace
NEVAR forget Company Man Rob Manfred, Intergalactical Disgrace
/like if Roger Goodell and Gary Bettman had a baby, that Britt Reid plowed into with hs car
Currently playing (and winning) in the Coupe de France tournament?
Nice, Brest
Which is funny because legend has it that the coupe glass was modeled from Marie Antoinette’s left breast.
@Redshirt fully embraced the attitude of “if the guy you bet on to win the MVP can’t be first, he might as well be last”:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mO1xIwXmAas&feature=youtu.be
We can @ people?
No, that’s just a stylistic flourish from yours truly.