Sexy Friday, Valentine’s Day Weekend edition

This is the weekend before Valentine’s Day. V Day is on Monday, so this is actually the perfect weekend for a sexy weekend getaway with the significant other.

In any other year.

This year, of course, things are different. However, one can enjoy a full weekend of hot lovin’ at home! Assuming you don’t have kids. And do live together. And still love each other.

Anyhoo, today we have a special treat. Instead of the pictures you have posted during the week, I am presenting a tribute to the girls that made us happy during those Valentine’s Days when we did not have significant others.

I speak, of course, about the Girls of Skinemax!

The Olds among us fondly remember the time when Cinemax showed B-movies with gratuitous nudity, crazy plots, and thrilling action late on Friday and Saturday nights. There were some actresses that starred in many of those movies whose talents are deeply ingrained in our hearts.

I took a poll of your favourite Skinemax actresses and these ladies are the ones that made the cut. Please enjoy!

For those of you prudes that don’t like cheesecake or beefcake, click HERE to skip to the music videos.

***

Without further ado, here are the Top Twenty Five Pics of The Week:

Shannon Tweed
Lorissa McComas
Gabriella Hall
Shannon Whirry
Kira Reed
Mia Zottoli
Krista Allen
Kathy Shower
Shauna O’Brien
Monique Parent
Nikki Nova
Athena Massey
Beverly Lynne
Nikki Fritz
Sylvia Kristel
Monique Gabrielle
Christine Nguyen
Sybill Danning
Ahn So Hee
Julie Strain
Julie K Smith
Shae Marks
Samantha Phillips
Cynthia Brimhall
Aria Giovanni

***

YOU’RE-A-PRUDE

***

And now, for the music!

As I mentioned before, I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!

Today we are featuring songs from the 80s that are perfect for sexy time. Enjoy!

Song Number One:

Spandau Ballet – True

Canción Número Dos:

Cyndi Lauper – Time After Time

Chanson Numéro Trois:

George Michael – Careless Whisper

Canzone numero quattro:

Bryan Adams – Heaven

Canção número cinco

Roxy Music – More Than This

Seigarren zenbakia:

Sade – The Sweetest Taboo

***

That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and try to stay the fuck away from stupid people. That’s not COVID-19 advice, that’s just general good sense. See you next week!

ballsofsteelandfury
5 3 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
118 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Doktor Zymm

So, has anyone figured out how Ashley Judd managed to shatter her leg worse than Dak by tripping over a tree?

Gumbygirl

I think she’s reached the brittle age.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Probably drinking Malk

yeah right

Happy Friday everyone!

I’m unhappy to report that the Friday night LA freeway traffic is back in pre-pandemic form!

Fuck.

I am going to explain how this video turned into a Sunday Gravy post eventually.

How the fuck is everyone doing?!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xat1GVnl8-k

Viva La Tabula Raza

I spent a month in Italy back when that song came out and heard it on Italian radio every 10 minutes and loved it. Never heard it at all in the USA. It’s very good when you and your partner can both watch the X-Files.

Gumbygirl

Are we having the Gravy on Sunday? I am verra excited!

yeah right

Oh yes we are!

Gumbygirl

Woot! One more cow, to celebrate!

EuEwHxQXUAIqrDv.jpeg
yeah right

No cows were harmed in episode one!

They may be in trouble later though.

Gumbygirl

They probably won’t be Highland coos, they are the best, but not for eating.

EuEwHxpXIAAmVHz.jpeg
litre_cola

Jacked.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m barely driving. Where the fuck are people going?

yeah right

I here you. Despite the lower vehicular volume I always find myself on the freeway that just now had an accident or a stall.

It’s been an adjustment going back to freeway commute after driving surface streets through Mayberry to get to work.

Spending a hell of a lot more on gas too.

Welcome back to LA.

Gumbygirl

Have a cow, man!

EuEwHxHXcAEdOa-.jpeg
Viva La Tabula Raza

Hook ’em, Horns!

litre_cola

That’s a good coo mate.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m too lazy to make a third cocktail, so it’s Laphroaig o’clock

Dunstan

Slainte!

yeah right

Fuck it, here goes a Macallan.

Brocky

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m on to a Vieux Carre next.

Dunstan

Benedictine is a glaring absence from my bar.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“How dare you?”
–Joseph Ratzinger

Dunstan

“That’s what he said, am I right, Ratzy? And by ‘he,’ I mean the young boys who were counting on you to protect them…”

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Doeshh shomeone have a problem with Benedictines?”comment image

Last edited 23 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Doktor Zymm

I realized today that I can’t remember the last time I had a burrito, so I ordered a burrito for dinner. Yum!

Viva La Tabula Raza

DZ:
Not related to the burrito topic, but: a while back i recommended to you a book by Simon Winchester about his travels to far-flung outposts of the British Empire and you stated that kind of stuff was right in your swim lane. Related, today I stumbled across a BBC series on Amazon Prime called “Nature’s Treasure Islands” (originally called “Britain’s Treasure Islands” apparently) in which the presenter travels to each of the 14 current British Overseas Territories (as of 2014). It’s very well done. Mostly concentrates on the natural history aspect, but also explains the human history of the “colonies” pretty well. Four 60 minute episodes, free on AP if you put up with the commercials, which are not too intrusive. I am just finishing binging the 4 episodes and recommend this show.

Last edited 23 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Doktor Zymm

Sounds good! I will add it to my list, finishing up James May’s Japan show right now

Mr. Ayo
Last edited 23 days ago by Mr. Ayo
Viva La Tabula Raza

The guides on that show are really the best thing about it, particularly the Yujiro guy in Tokyo and beyond (“Master!”) and the chatty girl in Osaka.

Last edited 23 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Gumbygirl

I ordered Chinese, for New Year. Hasn’t come yet, and I’m high as hell. The Year of the Ox is a disappointment so far!

Doktor Zymm

I should probably order Chinese on Cinco de Mayo, just to be balanced

yeah right

I am of the Oxen tribe! Shouldn’t be hard to figure out the birth year. I’ve got a tattoo of what I dearly hope is the hanzi version of “OX” on my lower right leg. Being born in the year of.

Stand up and rejoice brother Oxen!

yeah right

It makes me think of the Kurt Vonnegut book “Slapstick” where everyone has their own little cliques and groups and where everyone understands each other and is of a like mind.

If only there was a place on the internet where that happened.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I had burritos yesterday. Three of them!

Viva La Tabula Raza
Brocky

I sometimes rational that I haven’t quite hit rock bottom with loneliness,

then I see a picture like this and i find myself trying to reverse google image search to see if i can get this outfit for the future ex mrs. brocky

comment image

scotchnaut

If you had never watched it before and you now had The West Side Story on mute in the background, you’d think it was the worst-acted movie in a heretofore unseen genre that you couldn’t quite accurately describe.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Gee, Officer Krupke, krup you!

SonOfSpam

At least it was realistic vis-a-vis gang life.

Brick Meathook

These guys will fuck you up:

comment image

Brocky

i remember watching half of that one night while my grandmother was watching the classic movie channel.

i just remember thinking: this is a classic? stuff like Casablanca and gone with the wind I can understand for being more representative of their time periods, but gang members singing?

Doktor Zymm

Juvenile delinquents were all the rage, pops

Dunstan

Isn’t it basically Romeo and Juliet filtered through a dumb 1960s USA lens?

Brick Meathook

The Broadway stage production is the classic and is considered one of the greatest musicals of all time. The feature film, however, was a product of its times. It had to be “bigger” in order to compete with television, and it is mis-cast in many ways. The sequences staged on soon to be demolished streets of Manhattan are dynamic, but the rest was shot on stages in Hollywood and is considered very flat. (Actually the Hollywood stages are being demolished now).

Brick Meathook

However, despite its dynamics and technical proficiency, the opening “prologue” to West Side Story (1961) is the gayest movie fight scene this side of Road House (1989).

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, aren’t Broadway musicals gay by definition?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Speaking of Valentine’s Day, made my first attempt at a Between the Sheets. https://www.thespruceeats.com/between-the-sheets-cocktail-recipe-759286

It’s better than my first time between the sheets but worse than most of the other times.

Dunstan

I’m drinking a Satin Sheets cocktail.

I did once own satin sheets. Unfortunately, although they are sort of slippery sexy fun, they’re not good on an ordinary warm night….

scotchnaut

I will remember you

[camera pans across two sad faces]

Will you remember me?

Serious Voice: You can’t let these poor things endure these hardships, can you?”

Don’t let your life pass you by

Serious Voice: “For just 30 cents a day you can provide Steve Belichick and Jim Tomsula a dry piece of cardboard and clean drinking water. It would mean so much.”

Viva La Tabula Raza

Pretty soon going to need to add Britt Reid to that team.

Dunstan

You want to bet that he won’t be an assistant coach somewhere in the next 2 years?

Brick Meathook

comment image

Mr. Ayo

Maximum boost!

SonOfSpam

Early version of a Fleshlight.

scotchnaut

And yet somehow, someway, everyone pushed through each phase of the testing process until the final model was ‘ready for business’.

Game Time Decision

MOAR POWER

Fronkenshteen

Now I want a win. Never a good space for a Ranger fan.

Fronkenshteen

frick

scotchnaut

“Salsa should never be served in round bowls because, unless your last nacho chip is perfectly curved, there will always be leftover salsa. Also, I should have spent more time with Britt.”*

*Andy Reid’s Shower Thoughts

Dunstan

I should have spent more time with Britt”

— Rod Stewart

(Well, not really. Rachel Hunter is a fine rebound relationship….)

SonOfSpam

That dickwad bailed on Rachel for a younger woman.

scotchnaut

I can’t believe a successful white male in the entertainment industry would do such a thing. Every day you live and learn!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All right, it’s time for a New York evening: strip steak and a Manhattan.

Dunstan

Nice. I’m due for a steak.

SonOfSpam

(“He went to Jared” voice): He went to Vons.

Dunstan

Drink #2 is the Captain’s Blood — 6 parts rum to 1 part each lime, simple syrup, falernum, plus some angostura. First time making it, and I approve. I don’t drink a lot of rum, but I’ve grown fond of this Zacapa 23 rum.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s a lot of parts of rum.

Dunstan

Well, apparently the Captain was quite the alcoholic, what can I say?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait how did we get started talking about Joseph Hazelwood?

Dunstan

I need to know if you had to look that up. I recognized the reference, but doubt I would have just had it there waiting.

SonOfSpam

He’d be one of us except for that killing wildlife thing.

SonOfSpam

Also, I feel confident Rikki did not have to look that up.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No, I did. That happened at a time in my life when I cared a lot less about that kind of stuff.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, I had to look it up.

ArmedandHammered

What do you do with a drunken sailor,
What do you do with a drunken sailor,
Make him the captain of an Exxon tanker

rockingdog

found a cool:

The Peninsula
Newport Beach, CA
comment image

Fronkenshteen

That’s a Steely Dan album captured in a photo.

Brick Meathook

The Trump Capital of California!

SonOfSpam

It’s lovely except for the vast majority of extremely douchenozzly residents.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You had me at “the peni…s”.

Game Time Decision

Will be underwater in a few years

herodotus450

Me and the NY Rangers have a lot in common this Friday night re: scoring.

Fronkenshteen

Your penis is an overpaid Swedish cream puff?

herodotus450

Paying extra for the cream puff is worth it, everytime, buhleeve me.

Fronkenshteen

[does “Carlton Dance”]

Dunstan

Sometime when I think I’ve scored, I have to call Toronto to confirm.

rockingdog

found a funny:

therapist: you might be a kleptomaniac

me: *makes note in his notepad*

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Without listening, are all the songs saxy?

SonOfSpam

No, they’re SEXY.

At least the Kidz Bop versions are, haven’t heard these versions yet.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening.

/goes back to work

Mr. Ayo

It’ll be summer before you know it!

comment image

Mr. Ayo

Don’t forget to order and open your VDay presents.

comment image

SonOfSpam

Yeah, I’ll bet there’s something special in that box.

ArmedandHammered

Strap on Hulk Hands, suitable for pegging?

SonOfSpam

Was not specifically referring to the thing with the red bow on it.

Fronkenshteen

That’s TWO pussies from Boston who have raised their sticks when confronted. Pussies.

Fronkenshteen

I can honestly say that I hate the boston bruins so much that I don’t even care if the Rangers beat them. I just want bruins to get injured and bleed. See also; Flyers, Philadelphia.

scotchnaut

#explicatethehate

What I mean by that is… Why? Where she come from?

Fronkenshteen

I were born in ‘71. Flyers have always had Bobby Clarke’s pussy ass involved with the club for my entire life. Bruins? Just a typical cheap shot, dirty ass Boston product; happy to be represented by such luminaries as Marchand, Lucic, and Chara. Fuck them into the soil.

Dunstan

Yeah, it’s not just that the Bruins have had dirty players, because every team has those. It’s that they have triumphantly built an identity around them. The organization, its broadcasters (fuck Jack Edwards with a splintered hockey stick), and its fans positively revel in goonery. And then they have the temerity to accuse every other team in the league of “diving” when a Bruin is actually called for something. Which happens less often than it should, because the Bruins owner is chairman of the board of governors and owns Gary Bettman’s balls, and thus in turn the officials.

At one point, the Bruins had a player named Gregory Campbell, whose father Colin Campbell was the NHL vice president in charge of officiating. Dude used to send emails to referees demanding to know why they called a penalty last night on his darling son. These emails came to light in some litigation, and it was only a minor scandal. Daddy insisted that, when he wrote angry emails to referees who he had the power to fire or give plum assignments to, he was just wearing his dad hat and not acting as their boss, and the hockey media just slurped it up like, yeah, sure, that isn’t corrupt as fuck.

Oh, and also, the Bruins’ best player in history, Bobby Orr, took out a full page ad last fall extolling the virtues of Donald Trump.

In conclusion, fuck Bobby Orr, fuck Colin Campbell, fuck Jeremy Jacobs and Gary Bettman, fuck Jack Edwards, and fuck the Boston Bruins.

scotchnaut

With respect to Bobby Orr, he was really good in the beginning but then he just let things go a little too far.

herodotus450

If I could go back in time and aid the British in the Siege of Boston and help them level it to the ground, I’d consider it.

WCS

I could listen to Sade all day.

Gumbygirl

That’s because you are a Smooth Operator!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I was a smoothie operator! Only lasted about a week, though. They say they don’t drug test but they actually do if you fuck up badly enough to get OSHA gets involved.” – Todd Marinovich

herodotus450

“Shesterkin? I hardly know my kin!”
-NYR fans in West Virgina, probably

Game Time Decision

Watching star wars ep 4 with youngest GTD. She’s not seen any of them before

scotchnaut

They are all comedic thingys-mashup/fake/deep fake videos.

herodotus450

Not sure if the lack of hockey tonight is due to covid cancellations or just the NHL not wanting to go up against the juggernaut that is Friday night winter network programming.

litre_cola

A retired cop takes over the bakery of a protestor he murdered, catch it Friday on CBS.

Dunstan

Now for the hardest decision of the week — what to drink first.

I’m thinking the first drink will be The Last Word

scotchnaut

Amen!

litre_cola

Raise a glass to Joel Osteen! Withh JJ Watts departure he is now the most annoying white guy in Houston!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I first thought you meant Haley Joel Osment and I was like, hey, he’s not that annoying.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

A sophisticated man with green chartreuse in his bar. How’d you get into the clubhouse?

Dunstan

I offered DTZM a vigorous and thorough handjob. Isn’t that how all of you got in?