One of the biggest things I miss from our old site was the mock drafts that used to run every Friday.  Those were fantastic time wasters, and a good one was a virtual guarantee that you were going to be far from productive at work, as your day instead degenerated into arguments with strangers over who would be the best Saturday cartoon character to have sex with, (and now we all know how that would go), or some other equally inane topic, all of which were still more important than that TPS report deadline your boss was yelling about.  Good times.

Well, it’s been long enough.  After a discussion in the back channels yours truly is bringing it back, with some slight rule changes.  The old site had 4-5 main contributors, one of whom may not have been real.  So they’d do 2-3 rounds themselves, then kick it to the kommentariat to draft whatever was left over.  You can do that when you’ve only taken 10-15 of whatever topic was up for drafting.  We, however, are a much more connected group when it comes to the writin’ and draftin’ of things, so if we did that we’d easily take out 30-50 before we threw the bedraggled leftovers to our beloved readership.  That’s no fun.  So these drafts, which I expect to last as long as I remember to do them, (2-3 weeks), will just leap right into it.

Also, for content and alliteration reasons, we’ve moved the draft to Monday mornings, so get ready to kill your productivity right from the start.

Yours in the comments, first come, first served.  For now, please wait 10 picks or 30 minutes before making another one.  That will be revised up or down depending on how much participation we get, which I hope will be a lot.

This weeks topic:  CLASSIC SPORTING EVENT YOU WISH YOU’D ATTENDED

This week’s commissioner is here with the rules.

  Hello and greetings one and all.  I’d like to thank the author of this piece for picking me, Howard Cosell, the greatest announcer in the HIStory of sports, to oversee this draft, rather than some pretty boy talking head like Gifford or Meredith.  TRUly this author is deserving of the Pulitzer Prize for such a feat of daring and inTELLigence.

The rules for this draft are relatively simple, so simple even Gifford could figure it out, at least before Bednarik turned him into a VEGetable.

  TRUly a hit for all time.

-Ahem- The RULES are as follows.  Simply pick a sporting event, ANY sporting event, from the past, which YOU DID NOT ATTEND but wish you had.  No one is interested in your humblebragging about attending the first Super Bowl or Wrestlemania or whatever.  Save the pretentious bragging for me, Howard Cosell because trust me, I am BETTER at it than you are.

The sporting event, while it can have occurred at any point between now and the birth of the universe, MUST HAVE ACTUALLY HAPPENED.  Just as we are not interested in any humblebragging, we are not interested in your fan fiction about Alison Brie fighting Gillian Jacobs in a mud wrestling pit, at least not for this draft.

Third, and finally, for purposes of this draft professional wrestling, rigged though it may be, counts as a sporting event.

Without further ado, the first pick goes to Horatio Cornblower!  RIGHT THERE!!

Horatio:  (looking nervously at the freshly patched wall)  No surprises here.  I’m a big boxing fan, or at least was back when it meant something, and I can’t think of a better time for boxing than when Ali was in his prime and had opposition like Frazier, Foreman, Norton, Shavers, and the like.  That’s just an insane collection of talent at the top of the heavyweight division, and one we’ll probably never see again now that we’re all learning that getting punched in the head for a living isn’t that great of an idea.  Nonetheless, as the featured image suggests, I will take The Thrilla in Manila.

Yours in the comments.