Request Line: The Ultimate Cleveland Browns Mixtape

Sad songs don’t usually dominate the airwaves during Request Line.  However, when the week’s topic is “The Cleveland Browns,” how could we possibly expect that the subsequent results would include anything else?

Outside of their faithful fanbase, the dominant emotion most football fans – including those within their own division – feel for the Browns is “pity”.  The franchise has suffered some of the most disappointing and humiliating losses in the history of the NFL.  The Browns have been victim to both tragic misfortune and relentless self-sabotage over their history, and I’ve listed some of the key events below.  Your job is to choose songs to represent these.  It’s by no means an exhaustive list; if you have another incident you think belongs on this mixtape, please add it (along with your song suggestion, if you’ve got one).  It’s probably best to think of this as an offseason version of Quotables, where quality matters much more than quantity and the liberal use of the +1 button is encouraged.  Feel free to keep adding over the weekend and into early next week.

• 1950: The Browns join the National Football League and win the championship during their inaugural season.
• 1961: Art Modell takes over ownership of the Browns.
• 1966: Running back Jim Brown retires from his dominance of the NFL to focus on his acting career, and the Browns’ championship drought begins.
• 1969: The horribly polluted Cuyahoga River catches fire.
• 1980: Brian Sipe of “Kardiac Kids” fame throws a late game interception while in field goal range in a play memorialized as “Red Right 88”.
• 1986: The Drive
• 1987: The Fumble
• 1995: The Browns (personnel including players) move to Baltimore and become the Ravens franchise, which wins a Super Bowl in five years.
• 1999: The dormant Browns franchise resumes play as an expansion team.  Later that year Orlando Brown suffers an eye injury when struck by a penalty flag and assaults the offending official.
• 2001: Bottlegate.
• 2002: In the season opener against the Chiefs, Dwayne Rudd takes off and hurls his helmet before the final whistle, leading to a penalty that costs the Browns a victory.
• 2002: In what will be their only playoff appearance in a 20-year span, the Browns blow a 24-7 second-half lead to their divisional rival the Pittsburgh Steelers.
• 2007: With a win guaranteeing a playoff berth, Derek Anderson throws five interceptions in a 19-14 loss to the Bengals during Week 16. The Browns subsequently miss the playoffs.
• 2012: The Browns use their first round pick to draft 28 year-old quarterback Brandon Weeden.  A few months later Jimmy Haslan purchases the Browns.
• 2014: Upon the advice of a homeless derelict, the Browns use the 22nd pick in the draft to select Johnny “Football” Manziel.
• 2017: After a near miss the previous year, Hue Jackson completes an 0-16 “imperfect season”.
• 2018: The Browns use the first overall pick in the draft to select Baker Mayfield, and the infamous Tim Couch et al. jersey is replaced.
• 2020: Swagger the dog passes away at age 6.
• 2021: Baker Mayfield leads the Browns to their first postseason appearance in almost 20 years and their first playoff win since 1994.

Swagger was kind enough to host an edition of Request Line where you might find some inspiration, if you need it.  Next Friday, I’ll compile the mixtape into a single track for us to enjoy, and I’ll announce the topic that we’ll be requesting songs for on the following Friday.  I’ll get us started with the overture “Burn On” by Randy Newman, which most of you will remember as the music for the opening titles of Major League.