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Untitled

Welcome, welcome. I’m so glad you could make it to our inaugural exhibition here in the Sill Bimmons Memorial Hall. If you and your wife might like to check your coat and grab a glass of wine, the group is over by that eclectic sofa bed and, so yeah, I’ll be back shortly to escort you through the gallery where you can view all the pieces we have on display as part of this exhibit.

::Two guests deposit their items with Jim Tomulsa at the coat check, select a pair of flutes filled with Yellow Tail Bubbles Rose from a tray presented by a costume gorilla outfitted in an all-silver suit, and make their way to the edge of the small group — maybe 11 people — congregating near the one piece of furniture in the entire hall.::

So now that we are all here, I’d just like to formally welcome everyone to the inaugural Roger Goodell is a National Disgrace Art Show. A little about myself and the people behind this project before we begin; my name is Khalil Mack and I play football for the local professional football team, the Oakland Raiders. As a defensive end for the Silver and Black, in my young career I have established myself as a bit of an artist, I suppose, as many might call me a sack artist.  Mmmmm…hmmhmmm…yes, well, tonight I’ll be hosting the guided portion of the tour to discuss with you all the pieces we have on display.

While some of these examples you may have seen, especially for those familiar with the works of Mr Moose -The End Is Well Nigh — or by his free name, Moose – The Thread Ender — most of this collection is never-before-seen works from more conventional artists who produce visual pieces by using a paintbrush or a camera, rather than a 4.65-40 or a 40-inch vertical jump. Mmmmm…hmmhmmm…yes, and while they make us think, they also communicate with us the humanity that is life and the joyfulness that is the hopeful byproduct of NFL fandom. Now, as we head to the first piece, I’d like to ask that the group refrain from photography or losing their minds over their slightest objections to these works. Art is about freedom and this gallery, in the spirit of its namesake, fully supports artistic integrity and disciplined mature conversations about the content before you. Please feel free to ask questions as we go or I will be available at the end of the tour to provide commentary on the pieces and their creators. Now, please follow me to the first exhibit.


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You will see our local franchise represented quite often through this tour and such is the case with our first piece, Appropriate Accessories, Man by one of our contributing anonymous, ahem, “guerilla artists”. This photographer, in catching the large frame shot of this 2003 Toyota Camry in deadlocked traffic, presented the ironic assessment of the Raiders fans equate to guns joke that is rampant in a league fanbase where mob mentality will often overrule the rights of minority fan bases on the basis of fear, distrust, or even hate. This piece, in fact, shows that Raiders fans are the common man who do the tedious, most bland tasks everyday the same as the rest of us, such as sitting in rush hour traffic.


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This next piece, from the same series as the first photo and submitted by the same anonymous artist, continues the voyeuristic theme of freeway traffic but, rather than press on the viewer with the strong imagery of bullet holes, here he exemplifies how fandom doesn’t have to be skybox season tickets and officially licensed NFL merchandise. Rather, even the most vulnerable of our society can craft any representation of their favorite team for display around the barrio. Note how the clear daylight and light traffic give the impression that this truck, though clearly a beater, has a brighter outlook than the conventionally reliable Japanese sedan from first piece. So do we then look at ourselves and ask who we are in own personal rat race?

Yes, very gripping and deep stuff. Please follow me to over here….


Pete-Vader

Here we see a piece exposing the media and pop culture presence that exists behind the scenes in the NFL. Seattle Seahawks Coach, Pete Carroll, is giving an interview with a stereotypical pretty young sports reporter and passing behind him is science fiction and movie icon, Darth Vader. While likely a matter of coincidence on a non gameday event, it’s still a powerful display that serves a message to the viewer that the NFL is just another part of the entertainment business. The unfortunate reality is that, unlike character actors who can take off the make up and let action doubles or CGI do their dirty work, NFL players perform their own stunts and carry those experiences with them the rest of their lives.


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These next two pieces are on loan from an installation entitled La-La Land, which provides a strong critique on how the sports entertainment markets insist on saturating Los Angeles with teams. Here we see vehicles promoting the existing popular LA franchises, baseball’s Dodgers and the NBA’s Lakers, but splitting their NFL allegiance between the Raiders and Rams, two teams that had previously called Los Angeles home. As of this coming season, the Rams have relocated back to LA while the Raiders remain in Oakland.

::All members of the group hold up their glasses and toast, “To fair Oakland.”::

Impactful and persuasive, the pieces almost force the viewer to reflect on their own fandom and ask whether their allegiance is to the franchise or the host city and, furthermore, what does this mean regarding the greatest flaws of Man? 


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Stepping away from the focus on fans, ESPN is in the midst of a contract with the NFL worth $1.9 billion dollars a year. As their prime broadcast deal, ESPN is putting many of their eggs in the NFL-basket as they hope the deal attracts, not just viewership and website clicks, but also a greater familiarity with the ESPN/Disney media empire which will lead to more online and television subscription revenue. Here we  see an update from ESPN’s SportsCenter mobile device app where a touchdown pass, worth six points, by star quarterback Drew Brees is incorrectly reported as a one-point score. A powerful reminder to all of us that ESPN is made up of a bunch of fucking nitwits.


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Many of you may have tuned in to last summer’s Women’s World Cup final where the United States dominated Japan on July 4th in front of millions of television viewers. This social media release by the Raiders applies the team’s motto, Just Win Baby, attributed to the late great Al Davis, in support of the Darling Yanks, one of our nation’s sweetheart teams. Clean and direct, the image is a rare color photo ad where, typically, Alex Morgan would be washed in black and white to correspond with the team’s silver and black theme. However, in the current environment of internet activism and political correctness, the Raiders organization decided to forgo the black and white filter on Morgan and the US flag as a means to negate risk of boycott from any of a number of groups who might arbitrarily find the color scheme offensive and worthy of team or league boycotts.


Screen Shot 2016-05-26 at 8.01.23 PMThis decal placed ahead of a truck’s rear drivers side tail light advertises the American lifestyle clothing brand and energy drink label, Metal Mulisha. The logo is a lift — an illegal production in spirit and appearance — of the Raiders’ and illustrates a significant problem for the NFL; that illegal broadcast, reproduction, and unauthorized descriptive accounts of the content of NFL intellectual properties are causing significant financial harship to the league and its team owners. In the case of this lift, an established 20 year old clothing company is even directly infringing on the rights of the Raider franchise.  As is often the case with artwork that unabashedly places a spotlight on how the greatest crimes in our society go unpunished, we have to ask ourselves what kind of people we are to stand by silently while the hard work and human rights of this team is trampled? And how can we forgive ourselves for our hypocrisy?


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Of course, one of the most important attributes of the NFL’s licensing policy is the generation of video games. Not only do they provide immediate financial returns, these games expose America’s youth to the NFL, its stars, its arbitrary rule applications, and creates fans for life. In this piece, on loan from the Smithsonian’s The Art of Video Games exhibit, we see the final results of an NFL Blitz match up between two players who both selected the Raiders as their roster. A couple points of note for this piece, the Blitz franchise did not have NFLPA player naming rights so all stats are provided as team values. In this case, the passing stats were compiled by former All-Pro quarterback Rich Gannon who now hosts an NFL XM Radio show titled, conveniently enough, The Sirius Blitz. Also, in addition to the winning time of possession being four-twenty…

::All members of the group hold up their glasses and toast, “Celebrate Green Wolf.”::

Mmmmm…hmmhmmm…yes, celebrate the wolf indeed, in addition to the time of possession note, you will see that the winning team won the turnover battle. It’s always about the turnover battle, folks. Let’s never forget that.


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In this final piece, at least as far as our tour will take us — and, of course, you are all welcome to stay and peruse the rest of the gallery or return to these works once our group is finished here — we get a glimpse at NFL fans. Specifically, anonymous internet commenting fans. Obviously this piece is one of the more tame illustrations of the herd but the point is still clear. Here, in the midst of an online forum discussing a potential pick up for the Dallas Cowboys, I believe it was Johnny Manziel, you see a fan nail the four main elements of fandom: expertise of the game’s rules; changing an opponents name to an insult; tearing down other teams while building up your own; and, most importantly, referring to your favorite franchise in the first person, as in ‘we’ or ‘us’.

And so, with this, I want to thank you all for joining me for this tour. We hope you have enjoyed the inaugural Roger Goodell is a National Disgrace Art Show. Please drive safe.

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blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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[…] of Stafford getting crushed (the “Fat Stafford” series, to be presented at the next [ÐF⌈Årtsh⌉Ô]) but it’s nice to see his career maturing to captions about how he’s looking to replace […]

[…] Khalil Mack will be sitting out as Raiders camp kicks off. […]

Sill Bimmons

So you’d be happy if I was dead.

My death would be a joke to you.

You need help.

Unsurprised

Fans are the worst.

King Hippo

Dat NFL Blitz, tho…we MUST STOP Raider on Raider violence!!

/unless it’s Bloods v Crips, then by all means RIDE OR DIE muthafuckas!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes, but who could possibly serve as a spokesman for such a cause? Bill Romanowski? Tom Cable?

Senor Weaselo

Rill Bomanowski, problem solved!

/No idea where he is nowadays
//Possibly for the best
///Probably for the best

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I like to think he’s been Johnny Manziel’s life coach since K Day.

JerBear50

Slayin’ pussy, beatin’ queers, and just bro’in out if I had to guess.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…RIDE OR DIE…

“Why not both?”

– Chris Henry

King Hippo

Oh that’s delightful. You just made me laugh audibly despite having been in the DMV for the last 2+ hours. Good hustle? GOOD HUSTLE!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Do they not allow you to make appointments? In California you can make appointments, and you’re usually in and out within a timeframe that even Rick Pitino would describe as “brisk”.

King Hippo

It was one of those things where my kids got called in for their road test part of drivers’ ed on 24-hrs notice, they finished a week later and the wait time for appts is almost a month. I didn’t want to make them wait that long for their permits.

And the little shits failed their written tests. Serves me right.

Sharkbait

BLACK (and silver) LIVES MATTER!

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

“Those obese FudgePackers over in Wisconsin can’t compare to us strong and proud Vikings! Their offense means nothing against our elite defense!” …man it really is just that simple isn’t it?

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

I feel significantly dumber having written that. Also 20% more cardiac arrest-y.

jjfozz

My favorite is the Metal Mulisha sticker, because it contains an “S” that looks like it was lifted from the SS insignia.

Raiders fans and Nazis share a great deal in common, and I don’t have the time to list all of them, well, they are both batshit crazy and follow leaders with horrendous hairstyles.

laserguru

Strait outta Temecula yo!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Now I want someone to develop a Metal Elisha character.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Challenge accepted.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Metalocalpyse might have beaten you to it.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“Cool! I always wanted my own Metal Mario cap!”

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view6/20140711/5068050/metal-mario-o.gif

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Now we need a DF[dogsh]O

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