Where am I? What is this place?

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Well here we are on the bye week and I have to say I never thought that the Eagles would be having the best record in the league. Hell, I would have been happy if they were 5-4 but still staring up at the unmentionables in the division. Through the great sideline leadership of Nick Foles the team has looked great and the liabilities of the secondary which Jerome Brown touched on in our season preview really haven’t materialized. I really didn’t know how to write this bye week review as their record is unexpected. What I decided to do is take a look back at the qb’s we have had to this date when the greatest quarterback in Eagles history Nick Foles came back to the fold. Then we will visit what is coming up for the Santa hating, battery throwing folks to look forward to.

We will start with my personal hero and honestly the greatest quarterback the franchise has had thus far.

Randall Cunningham was a player that changed the game at that time. He was electrifying to watch and as a 10 year old when he assumed the starting position there he cemented me as an Eagle fan for life. He followed in the footsteps of Ron Jaworski who can be strapped to a fire ant hill for all I care. Funny story, I golfed behind “Jaws” and Gruden once in Phoenix and Jaws was a smug ass, while Gruden was engaging and a really nice guy (I know I hate it too). In 1987 when Randall assumed the reigns there were also 2 other starters who I honestly had never heard of. Something called Scott Tinsley and a Guido Merkins. Seriously, Guido Merkins is a name we can all get behind and I should really investigate whether I can get a Chinese jersey with his full name on it. After further review, he was kick ass and I shouldn’t me making fun of Guido Merkins. Guido Merkins.

In 91 they had the funky qb come in many years after his prime and start for Randall due to injury. I was happy with this replacement as he brought attitude. Personally a conversation between him and Trent Green would be awesome right now. I still had hope at this point as he was a capable back who at this point was held together with duct tape and string. During this season we had 2 Jeff Kemp starts and 2 Brad Goebel starts and honestly I do not remember these 2 guys whatsoever. The following year Randall was back for 15 games and the 92 Eagles were fantastic to watch. The next few years Randall was injured and was the part time starter. We got to see some Ken O’Brien, and some hot Bubby Brister action. Rodney Peete came by for a bit and actually performed quite well.

We now move to the darkest timeline. The late 90’s were an absolute car crash with such quarterbacks Bobby Hoying and the brothers Detmer! Hoo boy those were the days, Koy and Ty throwing it to anyone not in a green jersey. Out of every darkness there comes a light or something along those lines and the battery tossers were quite angry when they drafted Donovan McNabb.

The locals preferred Ricky Williams and personally I would rather get high with him over drinking purple drank with Donovan. Our current head cooch through some INT’s for us in McNabb’s rookie season. He led the Eagles to the Superb Owl and promptly got a beat down from TAHHHHMMMMY. He is probably the best qb that the Eagles have ever had and it showed when he was injured and Jeff Garcia, AJ Feeley, and hell yeah we got us some Mike McMahon who I completely erased from my memory.

Did they have a qb that liked underage girls? Damn right they did. Was it also the same year that they had a qb with a google eye? God damn right they had the Sanchez Bradford tandem. Was there hope when they signed google eye? Yes.Next up was a very difficult moment for the Santa booers as they were torn between getting behind the dog fighter.  He did perform quite capably but it still felt dirty.

Which brings us to the savioUr of the franchise Nick Foles. Hell, he is still playing and already in the hall of fame! You see ole Nick was far too talented to stay in Philly so he had to head out and see the world so he plied his trade in St. Louis for RAMMIT and that did not go well. He then joined forces with the country’s foremost rib aficionado to Kansas City but that did not go well. but that too did not go as planned so he came back to Philly and will lead them to the promised land once the current starter gets killed because Jason Peters is out for the season!


I totally forgot about Kevin Kolb, but that’s ok he and Trent Green are having a conversation about cucumbers in the 19th century.


Remaining schedule

Week 11 at Cowboys will Zeke play? Who bloody knows, it is after a bye week which bodes well but I will chalk this L up

Week 12 vs Bears Truth Biscuit we get killed W

Week 13 at The Seatruthers which got a little bit easier with Sherman out for the season and the turnstile offensive line that they have it really should be a W. I would have said an L but that was before the Brown and Sherman injuries. It is this game I expect Nick Foles to come in because Eagle fans can’t have nice things.

Week 14 v RAMMIT!!! Goff vs the guy the Eagles drafted after him. Goff has really come on this year since Jeff Fisher left I see an L

Week 15 at the Giants. They will push Eli off the slide and take his juice box. W

Week 16 vs the RRRAAAIIIDDEERRRSSS who I believe will still have something to play for and will beat the Birds L

Week 17 Dallas. Zeke should be back? I see the Eagles winning the division but losing to Dallas twice because you touch yourself at night.


So this is where we are, I will just enjoy the rest of this ride until our savioUr Foles has to play. Drink some wine, smoke some medicine and if all else fails I can always go down a YouTube hole.

A pugs best friend. Wine drinker. Loves to use the letter U behind O. Iggles fan, Fulham FC supporter. Bartend as a hobby in Canadia. One of the resident futbol freaks at the clubhouse
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Grease up the poles! Eagles Season Preview. – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]

[…] there, how is it going? When we last wrote about the Eagles the date was November 14th […]


Damn you!

/ doesn’t sleep due to Bourniston rabbit hole


This if great!
What would it take for Goff and Todd Gurley to remake or remix this?https://www.youtube.com/embed/QxkKlzInR4Y RAMMMMM IT!

Don T

Very glad to see posted your FOIA request to the CIA on Carson Wentz.
Seriously tho, loved the post. Warren Moon & Randall Cunningham made me a die hard NFL fan in the 80s.


The shame about the Super Bowl (and pretty much all JV Bowls) is that the two weeks to prepare means you get a different team on the field for the championship than throughout the season. The trick plays get brought in. Commercial breaks break up the fluidity of an already-too-much-stoppage sport. An overpracticed, underabsorbed gameplan is attempted and, unless it’s a DEN/SEA murdering or some novices playing a shitty prevent D (looking at you, ATL), you don’t get fun high scoring championship game affairs.

Which is really too bad because PHI seems like a team who’d succeed in entertaining me in Feb.

Final note, nice job ignoring a star white starter to talk about the white backup. NOW YOU CAN’T BE RACIST!

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

3-4 to finish the season? That seems a little pessimistic. But then, I guess once bitten twice shy.


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“Jordan and I used to be like this. I still miss those nights when we were young and he was on the bottom and I was on the top. What? No, I’m not into gay incest, I was talking about the bunk beds we had growing up.”