You don’t need to hear it from me, but what a boring game with a boring outcome. I took the under in all of the prop bets my friend put together for a bottle of beer (and came away victorious,) but even I didn’t expect it to be this low scoring and just a complete and total slog of a game. Couple that with not even memorably bad commercials, and not the worst half time show ever, but still putrid and awful to create a completely forgettable event for the NFL’s biggest stage. If you can’t even get this right, Goodell, then what the hell is the point of any of this? Much like every network sitcom, the NFL has become something “for everyone” and therefore “for no one.” You can hear the canned cheers in the stands, Tony and JEEEM praising every little stupid thing anyone does with a performance in the middle so crammed with randomly mismatched artists they felt the need to shoehorn in Sponge Bob for some reason. Whoever thought of that idea really saved the fucking day.

Alright, you all know what to do. I sincerely expect you guys and gals to show up more than either team did on Sunday.

Turn my passing indifference into laughter, please.