OK, I churned this out literally overnight after going back and forth on whether to even start writing this stuff. I am not fully on board here with writing these posts, just so you all know. And mostly it’s because I’m still pissed off. So don’t get your hopes up for quality on this one.
I already know I’ve had a series of failed relationships over the past few years. I didn’t need it rubbed in. Eventually it will be funny, but it’s not yet. At least not to me.
And while I believe that I treated each and every one of those women with care, courtesy and respect…..? Well, I can’t deny that it is I, tWBS who is the common denominator. Now maybe that’s just because I make bad choices in the ladies. I honestly no longer know.
But last night it was suggested, and seconded (is that still even a thing???? Seconding??????) that I share some of my most recent romantic experiences. That is, to relate the comical events of some of my recent lady friends. I presume so all of you can laugh at me just a bit more than you already do. Otherwise, I have no idea why anyone would give a rat’s ass about how bad I am at relationships these days.
And I protested. “No” I said somewhat without feeling or much protestation. “No”, I barely was able to type, because I had just gotten high. But trust me, I did put up a mild resistance to writing this shit you’re about to read.
But I was rebuffed. So, at least for now, I have agreed to share.
Meh, da Fuq do I care what you assholes think?
And like I told ’em last night, be careful what you ask for. No shit. Even I don’t know exactly where this will go.
And that should scare you. Sure as hell scares the shit outta me.
So we are going to ease into this very, very, VERY slowly.
Remember those two words. We’ll get back to that in the coming weeks.
(and no it does not mean what you think you sick fucks)
So How Is This Gonna Work?
It might seem odd, but we’re going to be going in reverse chronological order. I’ll be telling you about my most recent experiences first, and working back. There is a reason for that. I’m not going to tell you that reason just yet.
That’s kinda the point, actually. We’re taking a journey of sorts.
Yeah, that seems about right. But hopefully, in a few weeks, once we get there, you’ll understand. If you don’t understand, feel free to ask.
And just so you know, if it’s not already obvious, this is going to be a series (Hence the “Part I” in the title). It’s not just a BoTG for today.
Also, just to be clear, we’ll be skipping my marriage or anything before that. For now, that’s not on the docket. Maybe next off season we’ll go to that, although I can’t imagine why. Then again I can’t imagine why the hell I am doing this this off season. Or why you weird fuckers would even want me to.
(lol, for a second there I had a typo…..I typed “snot”)…. Ahem….Anyway, no marriage/wife stuff other than how it impacted one other relationship. We’ll get there. But that story is a ways off just yet.
But these other chicks since 2013? Hell yeah!!!!!!!! Let’s get Crazy. We’ve got six years of tWBS being a manwhore to cover!!!!!
Sooooooooo….as I said, we have about six years backtime to cover….let’s get going.
The Third Land Assault on Asia
(remember, we’re counting down….stay with me, the second and first “landings” on Asia will be upcoming)
Now, bear in mind that, as implied, Asia will make at least two more appearances in this countdown. Wait, maybe three. And we’re easing into this thing. You’re not getting any untoward details tonight. Anyway, so be nice. And I promise, you’ll find out more about her, and the others, as we go.
Doing this series is gonna get me in trouble. Meh, fuq do I care?
Asia and tWBS
We had a thing last year, twice last year, actually. And I’m sure we will get to spilling those details eventually here on “tWBS Shames Himself For No Good Reason”.
How the fuck do I get talked into telling this shit? Meh.
But that aside…. my most recent romantic contact was with Asia last Wednesday night. It wasn’t intense, but it was romantic and pleasant. It really was a very nice evening.
But this is she….
(and yes I do have her permission to have posted the photo…)
OK, so here’s the deal. She and I had an extremely lovely dinner last week.
We got high as fuck. Then there was a bit of (mild) intimate contact. It was a very pleasant time. But it had been over ten months since I’d seen her. I was tired and so was she. I had a flight the next day. Etc, etc, etc. So there was no heavy contact. A bit of snuggling, kissing and a tad of feely uppyness….lol. And then I got her home early.
It really was a very nice night, and reminded me that a night with someone whose company you enjoy doesn’t always have to end in sex in order to be fulfilling.
And then I went home and masturbated more than likely. Can’t be sure. Remember I was high.
But for now that’s it. She’s in California, I’m in North Cackalacky. It can’t happen.
I already told you I’m bad at this “choosing the right girl” thing. If I decide to keep writing this, that will be a running theme, trust me.
Oh…and I would be remiss if I didn’t once again take the opportunity to remind all of you…. Asia is 24 years younger than me. Yes I am still pretty fucking proud of that.
NO YOU SHUT UP!!!!!!!
On the next episode, “The Other Hot Black Chick!!!!!! This One Lives in Maryland!!!!!”.
(yes I am serious)
((remember, working backwards))