This may come as a surprise to some of you but premium NFL GIF content is not exactly in season come late-August. Oh sure, I can get you all clips of Matt Patricia cruising around in a golf cart or Belichik grumbling in front of a Gillette Stadium logo. But [NFL sanctioned] hard hits or exciting plays? Not exactly worth the effort during the preseason.
That said, there’s no reason our commentariat cannot step up here and, as they say, knock off the rust that comes from offseason internet usage. But then again, we don’t talk around here, we put up. So let’s see what you can do with your 2019 Preseason edition of Quotables.
Note: For any newcomers here, it’s pretty easy — just have the best (often funniest) comment for any/all gifs. Old editions may be referenced here.
[…] 2019 Quotables – Preseason (Submissions) – August 26, 2019 […]
“The hills are aliiiiiiive with the sound of music…”
“Shut up, this is the Broncos, you’re all Mr. Orange.”
Even the waste in Denver used to be orange.
https://www.businessinsider.com/what-us-cities-looked-like-before-epa-regulated-pollution-2019-8#in-delaware-the-city-incinerator-billows-out-smoke-over-the-river-in-2016-a-report-released-by-new-york-university-said-41-people-living-in-delaware-still-die-because-of-air-pollution-every-year-7
“I know, coach, and I’m sorry for the delay of game, but they keep holding the ball up high where I can’t get it.”
Well, he’s right, Fangio clearly picks his nose and eats it. But it’s still not a penalty.
My God, it’s like every single person in the Cardinals organization is drunk.
I haven’t seen a helmet come flying off like that since the last time someone startled Tim Tebow while he was doing missionary work.
This is a good gif. Very inspirational.
I just went ahead and made this one already. I need a clean version of the DFO watermark, though. I can’t find mine.
Don’t make Bowlen linebacker joke. Don’t make Bowlen linebacker joke. Don’t make Bowlen linebacker joke.
After years of only being on practice squads, Justin Murray finally achieves perfection.
See, OJ totally didn’t kill those people. He has the stance and finesse of a master samurai who would’ve used a katana to split them in half.
THIS GUY I CALL THE PENN STATE SHOWER ROOM BECAUSE HE’S MANHANDLING SMALLER MALES AND NO ONE IS DOING ANYTHING TO STOP HIM!
*Imperial March Music*
I’m sitting here shotgunning fat Star Wars puns to myself now. Thanks a lot.
And being a fat nerd, I have SO FUCKING MANY
“See, I don’t need a new helmet.”
-A. Brown
“Helmets, to god-damned hell with helmets! We have no helmets. In fact, we don’t need helmets. I don’t have to show you any stinking helmets, you god-damned cabrón and chinga tu madre!
— Gold Helmet, The Treasure of I Didjer Madre (1927. Novel)
I’m sure there were no misogynistic takes about this story on twitter.
“…and when I go get my Heisman back, it’ll be the second time I kill a Goldman for fuckin’ with my trophy.”
Hell yeah. This is gold.
TOTES
New for Madden ’20, the Easton Stick! It’s the same thing as the hit/truck/impact stick but we named it something different, that’ll be $60 please.
“You know if they say, if the club doesn’t fit you must acquit.”
Last one to let go gets the franchise.
“I’m already a better NFL Qb than you coach.”
The Bowlen family forgot Pat’s wishes. Isn’t it wonderful when a family follows tradition?
“I know I’m a rookie coach, but what’s with the Captain Blue Bunny nickname?”
Every fan at practice called 9-1-1 to report a dangerous black man on the loose.
Alternately,
I haven’t seen this many terrified owners since Nat Turner’s days.
Duck
Duck
goose ( not shown)
Why do we need someone to hold the screen. Isn’t there some sort of stand or holder that can be used ( and sponsored, obvs)
“Where the white women at?”
Unexpected side effect of Thanos’ snap: we get Odd Week Jaguras VS Even Week Jaguras.
Way to “Stick” it in there….
“The maddening beat of the femur drums follows me everywhere! It’s GETTING LOUDER the closer I get to the end zone!!!”
“My favorite ladyboy porn looks great on this Surface Pro from Microsoft, Official Tablet of the NFL!”
“Now that’s a quarterback you can look up to)
–Doug Martin
ah see the glove still don’t fit DARDEN lulz
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“Do I have to fuck that guy too?”
–Tiffany Rivers
if the LORD tells me I need to watch, cockwallet!
I meant it when I said football is family. Bitch.
I’ve seen that spin move before:
KM: “Hey, Coach! When will I get the starting O-line protecting me?”
CKK: “…”
“Listen Andrew, you better un-retire or else I’ll Cut A b—
You know what? Nevermind.”
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Strong start.