My wife's birthday was yesterday and, after I took her out for breakfast, we came home to see her neighborhood mom pals left her a gift on our doorstep. It was a box of cookies from Crumbl. Thanks for heading my requests on that front, suburban white women who are

Do you people know this place Crumbl? I see they are a national chain of overpriced cookie places. "Oh boy, here comes blaxabbath with his bullshit again," you're all thinking, I'm sure. And you're right! We popped in on one the other day because my wife wanted to bring cookies

I didn't watch the game last night but I cannot tell you how pleased I was to see the results last night. I mean -- look, we'll talk about it more in their Week 12 bye but you've got DeAndre Hopkins checking himself in after being pulled for injury and

An incredibly handsome writer sits in front of a computer, staring at the unfinished draft of a Quotables post. RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: "Text needed"? What the hell does that mean? RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY starts sweating. RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Okay, Rikki, you can do this.  Just write some shit down. RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY stares at the keyboard. RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [inner monologue] It doesn't have to

I hate facists. Absolutely hate them. Ugh. I'm not gonna waste your time on this stuff but, seriously, fuck those animals. Put them all down. Mass grave. Done. No -- this isn't A Very Special JJFozz Presents. Still blaxabbath. Anyways, looks like the Browns are for real? You know, this was all foretold back

Hello all. Week 6 is complete. I saw a fair bit of this football while doing dinner prep on Sunday. Yes, the parents are snowbirding back to Arizona and were good enough to take young blaxito with them for a week at the ranch before I need to yoyo that

Look, I'm tired but I'm also much too proud to ask anyone to cover for me here. Why? Because, like ol' Double-J, I'd rather put up a pile of garbage molded by [holds up two ashy appendages] THESE HANDS! [lowers aforementioned appendages] than go all...well....all...look, John Gruden knows what I'm

These NFL coaches eh? I mean, maybe it's just that the NFLPA has gotten better about deflecting press coverage from their litany of arrests, women-smacking, and drug use. Of course, we're talking like 1,700 rostered players vs 32 head coaches. Anyone care to ask the black players in the league

I'm sitting in a HYBRID (yes, the future is an amazing place!) industry trade meeting this morning and we're going over the organization's budget for the coming years. One note that I saw on a slide was that our food budget for an Indianapolis event is greater than for a

Alright we're only going to do this one time. And we're only even doing that because I'm trying to get some of those #budlightlimeritalightupforwhateverwazzzupfrogs ad bucks floating this way. Sure Hippo Thoughts brings the readers but does that work cover the PILLZBILLZ? Very much no, as one may surmise. And

Happy Friday, all, and welcome to another results edition of Quotables. Once again we find Mr Sebastian Blax is short on chit chat and struggling to meet archaic word count requirements imposed by the fascist [DFO] regime. But this week, I've got a plan! Well, the [DFO] equivalent of a clear

Welcome to Week 3 Quotables. What a time to be alive, huh? Dallas has taken it's place as the rightful leader of the cream of the ratings crop NFC East while blaxabbath's somewhere comment about Ron Rivera sure knowing how to build a defense makes me look ignorant as hell