I didn’t do results on Friday because I unfortunately spent that morning putting down one of my dogs and enjoying the post-euthanasian day.

So, if you’re here for just Quotables Week 14 delayed results, feel free to jump to below (submissions here). Else, I’d like to share a brief story about Abbey, if you’d all entertain me.

Abbey was a tough dog. I picked her up from the pound in Tucson in, I think, November of 2006. Most available dogs have these little adoption names like Zip or Daisy or Moe. Abbey was listed as a six-month old Rhodesian mix — her name: Canine #54386. She was on the concrete floor of the pen as I browsed the aisles, holding another dog’s leg in her mouth. She had no known background, the only information available was that she was picked up near a trailer park dense part of the west-central industrial area of town near the intersection of Flowing Wells and Prince Roads. For those of you keeping up with out Tucson series, this part of town never comes up because there is just no value to the area. No value…except that it was on these mean streets that Abbey cut her sharp little puppy teeth.

She was standoffish for a long bit after I brought her home. She was a young independent dog whose breed’s main purpose — and therefore Abbey’s lifetime focus — was to defend the household from lions. On that note, she ended her career undefeated in that category, so she was better than Tom Brady in that regard. And she did it without cheating so, once again, Abbey was better than Tom Brady. Oh — and she never hung it up; even after 45 [dog] years of age.

Anyways, point is, she was tough. The toughest dog. Never took no shit and was really good at establishing non-violent (usually) dominance with other dogs. Dogs who wouldn’t leave her alone at the park ended up on their backs with their bellies up like Lying Ted Cruz and his ugly wife. But her toughness in the primal animal kingdom was never more on display than the summer of 2011 (approximately).

My parents, who were living outside town at the time, had a little water feature pond thing in their backyard. It was quite the attraction for all the little area critters, including rattlesnakes. So, one day Abbey is out back and sniffing around by the water — not doubt investigating what that rattle sound is — and she gets bit on her leg. For those of you unfamiliar with rattlesnakes, the damn antivenom is like a grand [USD] per vial. Also, you know, the venom can be pretty fatal.

So anyways, my brother was housesitting for my parents and, fortunately, was there when it happened and took Abbey to the vet. He texted me while I was at work and, of course, I’m like, “get her taken care of and I’ll pay for whatever.” I get off work that afternoon, call the vet, and head to their offices. They had been monitoring her and the vet tells me she is good to go. It was surprising but the blood test numbers don’t lie and she didn’t need any antivenom. They gave me some ointment for the wound on her leg where she was struck but that was about it. Girl ended up coming home with me, eating a big dinner, and sleeping off her rattlesnake bite.

A couple weeks later, feeling all proud of Abbey’s resilience, I was telling the story to my parents. During our chat, one of their neighbors dropped by and starts talking about how the town is all still looking into all these dead snakes that have turned up in the area. I said nothing while they conversed but I knew what was up.

Abbey was such a tough dog that, when a rattlesnake bit her, the result was that she needed a good sleep while all the snakes in like a half-mile radius died all Green Mile style.

Anyways, below are your late Week 14 Quotables results.