2019 Quotables – Pro Bowl (Submissions)

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Your penultimate 2019 NFL season Quotables is below.


Call me a purist but I don’t think you should be able to win dodgeball on a catch.


Presented without comment.

Not current but this needs to join the Quotables library.

“Heehee…no no, drink THIS one. I made it special just for you.”

Kobe!

Mark Davis can’t be trusted with a non-rubber mallet.

 

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blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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[…] 2019 Quotables – Pro Bowl (Submissions) – January 28, 2020 […]

Unsurprised

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Enrico Pallazzo

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Mr. Hardhat, my dad would want me to ask you what your 40 time is.

Enrico Pallazzo

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Cheers to me making Bill Polian feel smart

nomonkeyfun

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Oakland
Los Angeles
Oakland
Las Vegas
San Diego
Oakland
San Antonio
Mars
P.F. Changs
Raiders

“I like the sound of that.”
-M. Davis

Game Time Decision

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Dylan – .. and Uncle Roger smells like po…
Adam – I’m taking away the iPad
Dylan – flowers, dad, i was going to say flowers.

Game Time Decision

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The rare D Lineman celly that doesn’t lead to an injury

Game Time Decision

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There’s some kid crying right now as someone took the toy mallet out of their toolbox.

or

Early screen tests of “Bob the Builder the movie” got awful reviews.

Game Time Decision

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To win just remember the five D’s of dodgeball: Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and… Dodge.
-Patches O’Houlihan

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Pictured: the only man in Vegas who won’t understand the “Come See The Best Black Hole” signs outside of the strip club

Unsurprised
LemonJello

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“This was supposed to be a little shade thrown at DAK!”

LemonJello

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“That Eli, he’s so thoughtful. He even provided juice boxes and orange slices for today’s game!”

King Hippo

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Not pictured – Why is the cork on the fork?

LemonJello

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*under her breath* “I don’t want your life.”

Unsurprised

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LemonJello

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“Was that me!?!” – T. Green

LemonJello

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“M-O-O-N, That spells Las Vegas Raiders!”

Redshirt

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“My God! If I ever got hit that hard, I’d remember that for the rest of my life!” – Brian Moorman

Redshirt

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Law and Order: SVU is starting to get lazy

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

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Dylan Schefter: “Mr Goodell makes Daddy come over every weekend during the summer and prance around making pony noises or else he’ll stop feeding him his lines.”

Adam: “Honey! We’re not supposed to talk about that.”

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

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Fantasy Access Whore Camp

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Get this man a banner inside of Lucas Oil Stadium!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Reaffirming our collective decision to deny the existence of the Houston Texans

BrettFavresColonoscopy

(for any of them)
There was a Pro Bowl?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Darren Rovell projects her future earnings to be a big fat poopyface

SonOfSpam

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To get him enthused, they told him he was dedicating a new SuperCuts.

SonOfSpam

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“and I like to swim in the pool with my parents and my friends and”

“NOT MARK CHMURA”

“um…yeah, that’s right my parents already told me that and”

SonOfSpam

Kobe!
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Unsurprised

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Sharkbait

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Usually it’s the evil one getting a stake hammered into it.

ArmedandHammered

Look, I told you we would need a two handed maul to drive a stake through Dad’s heart.

Unsurprised

Only in fiction