Eventual Balls Thoughts VIII

Another week has gone by and we are still following the “Stay At Home” or “Safer At Home” rules, right? It’s weird, but it seems like it was forever ago that we were living our normal lives when in reality it’s really only been about three weeks in the United States.

No worries, everyone, we can do this! As long as the internet provides us with quality content, we’ll be A-OK!

Many things happened at DFO last week. Let’s talk about them.

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BC Dick’s Curling Updates

Our awesome Master Curler has come up with a wonderful idea to keep us in Hot Curling Content until the league comes back. He’s taken a page from Senor Weaselo and come up with a wonderful Women’s Curling Championship Poll. Here are your winners from Week Two:

Sweden beat Italy
And now you know why.
Scotland beat Switzerland
Russia beat Japan
Canada beat Korea

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Psych Marathon Update

I have finished Season 7. They’ve continued doing “theme” or “tribute” episodes. The “Clue” one was particularly fun with Martin Mull, Christopher Lloyd, Garrett Morris, and Leslie Ann Warren all starring in it.

Season 7 is when Lassie gets married to the lovely and talented Marlowe (Kristy Swanson looking as gorgeous as ever) and at the reception Jules finds out that Shawn isn’t a psychic. This ends up playing out the rest of the season as Jules breaks up with Shawn over the lie.

It struck a chord with me as they did a very good job of showing the helplessness of a man (Shawn) trying to get back together with his girl after breaking up over something which, in the big scheme of things, isn’t that bad.

We’ve all been there, haven’t we fellas?

It’s frustrating for sure. Sometimes you get back together and sometimes you don’t. And even if you do, you really don’t know what you did right to get her back, you just do.

I know I’ve been there. Anyway, Season 7 is still pretty good, but you can see the beginnings of the end. Gus makes a joke about being a presidential aide that pokes fun at the role he had taken on at The West Wing and Chief Vick was put on suspension for six months. Reading between the lines, everyone was getting other jobs and preparing for the end. It sucks, but not all good things last forever.

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Since I’m running out of Psych episodes, I’ve started bingeing other things. For one, Season 4 of Kim’s Convenience is now on Netflix in the US! Our Canadian audience probably already saw the full season, but this is big news for us down here. It’s a wonderful show and I’ve found myself using many of their catchphrases like “Ok, see you!”, “Sneak Attack”, and “Deets”.

I’ve also been watching a German show on Netflix called “Babylon Berlin”. It’s a police drama set in Berlin in the roaring 20’s that deals with post-WW I politics, sexy hijinks, and a police inspector dealing with PTSD through heroin.

It’s a fascinating show and I’ve enjoyed it quite a bit. Yes, it’s got boobies in it too!

Lastly, Amazon Prime has picked up all of the James Bond films for the month of April. I’m planning on watching every single one, in order. I may write a separate post about each decade’s films as you can really see the difference between them through that lens.

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The Week in DFO

These are the things I read in DFO this week that reminded me how much I love this site:

Let’s start things off with a reminder to keep a positive mental attitude:

h/t Moose

and to work out to stay healthy:

h/t Moose

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The lighter the dog color the more they love to get dirty.
Source: Have two golden retrievers with one being English creme and the other normal. Guess which one likes mud more

Balding Spiritually

You

Game Time Decision

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Can we find an independent judge to settle Trump’s dick measuring contest with China?

Dok Zymm

My vote is for Ghana.

Viva La Tabula Raza

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h/t rockindog

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Justice had come like a thief in the night, and one by one the revelers were rendered limb from limb and separated from their flesh, and Justice held illimitable dominion over all.
He also cleaned out the fish tacos.  Didn’t leave a crumb.

Horatio (You should read the whole post. It’s wonderful.)

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h/t WCS
h/t Unsurprised
h/t rockindog
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose
h/t Moose

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Which team likes anal more?

Moose

Usually the front end likes it more than the back end but that’s just on average. Not a hard and fast rule.

BC Dick

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I understand times are tough, so I’m willing to accept as few as 71 virgins as my prize.

Herodotus450

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On the Tuesday evening Open Thread, some commentists played a fun game where someone would post an image and the others would guess which movie it was from. Here are my favourites:

“The Passion of the Christ 2: Crucifixion Boogaloo”

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Lassie: You Done Fucked Up Big Time. We’re Supposed To Be Down There.”

scotchnaut

Butt Bongo Fiesta IV?

Dunstan

“Granny Get Your Gun”

scotchnaut

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Speaking of happy 9/11 memories, my soon-to-be-wife and I had sex in the shower that morning. We watched the action unfold as we toweled off. Some things you just don’t forget.

scotchnaut

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h/t tWBS

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And I’m a little hesitant to tell you this…. But she now calls me her “Sugar Booger”.
The future ex-tWLS everybody.
I’m kidding. Good on you for trying to make this cold rock hurtling through the universe a nicer place.

nomonkeyfun

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h/t Moose
h/t Moose

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Top Heavy is my fave James Bond female villain.

scotchnaut

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Jerry Sandusky’s new favourite NFL team? The one that drafts Chase Young.

scotchnaut

I really think his brother Lure Young will be good. His dad must have been into fishing.

Litre_cola

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h/t RTD

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h/t Moose

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Anyone else getting shaggy? I was overdue for a haircut and now it is turning into hockey hair.

Litre_cola

It wasn’t him.

Senor Weaselo

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“Only daddy gets wine mummy.” Decilitre.
Never been prouder.

Litre_cola

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h/t LemonJello

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MY BOY GOT ALL A’S ON HIS THIRD QUARTER REPORT! YEAHHHHHH MOTHERFUCKER! MY BOYSISNO T DUMB
I AM DUBMBB

jjfozz

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I’ve known you guys online for so long without actually seeing your faces, so I presume everybody looks like their DFO avatar in real life.
Except for Moose, whom I still picture as Brock Sampson.

Porky Prime

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Found a funny:
Wife: Did you wrap the swear jar in aluminum?
Me: Cur-
Wife: If you say “curses, foiled again” I’m divorcing you
Me: *sweating*

rockindog

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h/t Unsurprised
h/t Unsurprised

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Back and forth texting about COVID with my wife ended in this-
I DON’T INTENTIONALLY STALK WOMEN THAT WEAR RED BRAS! IT JUST WORKED OUT THAT WAY!

scotchnaut

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My friend’s neighbors are throwing a block party keeping the neighborhood up at night spreading COVID-19. He is not happy.
My neighbors are all getting high and spreading pot smoke everywhere. I’m feeling kinda mellow.

Redshirt

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h/t Mr. Ayo

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h/t Moose

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My wife took me on a cornavirus date this evening. Drove me out for a picnic at the reservoir, (beer and oreos), the down to our basement, where our daughter had a club radio playing and we shot pool.
The thing about marrying women you meet in bars is that you damn near never win a game of pool.

Horatio

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I’m doing a Zoom session tonight with a bunch of people I went to high school with. Which celebrity should I tell them I hooked up with?

RTD

Kaitlyn Jenner.

BeerGuyRob

If you go this route, follow it up with twice.

Mr. Ayo

I was going to make that joke, but I didn’t know how to phrase it without it transitioning from lousy joke to offensive comment.

Redshirt

The transition is key to the joke certainly.

Mr. Ayo

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h/t Moose

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h/t SonOfSpam

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Thank you to everyone one for providing quality gifs to keep us entertained as we are quarantined in our homes. You may now resume working from home:

h/t Moose

Please stay home and avoid other people. King Hippo approves this message. See you next week!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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BC Dick

I like the appreciation for Kim’s Convenience. With that and Schitts Creek the CBC has finally put billions of public money to good use.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Everyone fishes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I have to repost this:

Downfield Matriculator

I am trying to slow down my media intake about coronavirus and assorted idiocies in order to maintain some sanity during quarantine — so only today did I come across the story about Captain Crozier getting relieved of his command on the USS Teddy Roosevelt for trying to save his sailors from the disease. Maybe you guys have all seen this, but just in case:

The official story some bullshit about him being relieved not following proper chain of command blah blah blah that the horse’s asses in DC are trying to sell (but who I am kidding, the Navy brass is sheltering in place in their suburban mansions out in Potomac, MD or McLean, VA). Anyway, these videos show who the fucking hero is:

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/videos-show-sailors-cheering-navy-captain-relieved-command-after-raising-n1175946

Watching the sailors wait silently in respect and then bust out the cheers made me tear up a bit.

/did not serve, but respect immensely my fellow citizens who do and did
4 Reply
April 5, 2020 6:41 pm

theeWeeBabySeamus

I fully agree. This story has really bothered me. I suspect he’ll get his command back once he’s out of quarantine. And frankly he should be promoted to Vice Admiral.

LemonJello

For those scoring at home:

Chief of SEALs committing probable war crimes = Wrongly Accused Hero, Victim of Libtard Witchhunt

Captain of aircraft carrier concerned for his crew’s health and safety = Inappropriate and Wrong, this virus isn’t as bad as the lamestream media is pushing on the public

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If it is not clear; the above is by our esteemed colleague Mr. Downfield Matriculator

Sharkbait

You may now resume working from home

Resume? I try to avoid doing actual work from home.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ha. I try to avoid doing any work from anywhere these days. I put some more plants in the ground yesterday then came in and had a sip of vodka and took a nap.

Living the dream baby!!!!!

Senor Weaselo

I spend 9 AM-11 AM on Mondays (so now) doing absolutely nothing and getting paid for it! They gave me the ghost town spot as the on-call tutor.

Game Time Decision

So, what’s worse?
Working from home or the honey-do list?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, I make sure we have traffic so I can bill 40 a week.

*Actually I’m winding up spending more time at odd hours; it takes longer to communicate effectively.
**Posting more gifs and using more precious DFO bandwidth, so WORTH IT….