Your “Faint Lights On The Horizon” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Notes:

  • Dolphins ownership is planning on a 2020 season.
    • Owner Stephen Ross said he expects there to be a 2020 season, but
      • “The real question is: Will there be fans in the stadiums?”
        If you need a reason to dislike…
        • According to nfl.com’s Nick Shook, there seems to be a growing sense among owners that a campaign without fans is very much a possibility, though the league has made no determinations on the matter.
    • Earlier this month, the Dolphins revealed their strategy for opening should they have to enforce social distancing guidelines, which include:
      • 15,000 fans in the stadium, all attendees wearing masks, staggered entrances and exits, and people ordering food from their seats.
      • Hard Rock Stadium “became the first public facility to earn the Global Biorisk Advisory Council’s STAR accreditation, the standard used for facilities to implement cleaning, disinfecting and infectious disease prevention work practices to control risks involved with infectious agents like the coronavirus.”
        • This accreditation will allow Hard Rock Stadium to reopen and host fans for events once clearance for activities to resume has been given.
  • In that vein, New Jersey has become the most recent state to allow professional sports teams to reopen their facilities. 
    • They will be allowed to host games once their leagues reopen, although fans have not yet been permitted to attend.
    • The NFL gave permission on May 15 for teams to reopen facilities, in accordance with local government guidelines.
      • The Cowboys, Falcons, Steelers, Texans, Colts, Cardinals, and Chiefs all partially reopened their facilities on May 19, and the Bengals followed on May 20.
  • Vince McMahon has come out publicly & said he doesn’t plan to be a bidder in the XFL’s bankruptcy auction – so much as you can believe anything Vince McMahon says. 
    • There were allegations that the structure of the initial filing would have allowed him to repurchase the league without having to cover the initial debts.
      • McMahon said he had reserved his legal right to be a bidder in the original bankruptcy claim. He said he did that because “I think I was trying to make up my mind.”
    • This is in regards to the XFL’s bankruptcy filing in Delaware, not the personal lawsuit he is facing from Oliver Luck in regards to Luck’s wrongful termination suit.
      • That suit was filed in Connecticut, because it is where McMahon lives & works.

For those of you who missed it, the NHL released its reopening plans today, inventively called the “Return To Play” plan.

They were hardly specific, but there was a platform by which the league would gradually resume & work towards a Cup final: (details via tsn.ca & sportsnet.ca)

  • Phase 1: declare the 2019-20 regular season complete & announce the playoff format.
    • 24 teams would qualify
      • The top-4 clubs of the Eastern and Western Conference would play separate mini round-robin tournaments to determine seeding for the playoffs.
      • The other eight teams in each conference would play best-of-five “play-in” qualifying series to determine the 16 clubs left standing.
  • Phase 2: early June – the opening of practice rinks for small, voluntary group workouts on and off the ice.
    • This includes protocols for travelling to club cities, testing, opening practice facilities for small group workouts, and the wearing of personal protective equipment when entering and leaving club facilities.
    • All players and personnel permitted to access training facilities will be tested 48 hours prior to entering, followed by regular testing (twice weekly) throughout Phase 2.
  • Phase 3: training camps will open before the first half of July, meaning that if it lasts three weeks the season would likely not resume until August should it be deemed safe to play.
    • The league is planning on returning to play in two hub cities. The list of possibilities include Chicago, Columbus, Dallas, Edmonton, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Minneapolis, Pittsburgh, Toronto and Vancouver.

**Late update: Canadian news is showing a video call with Asst. President Bill Daly, who says that current quarantine rules exclude Canada as a hub, so it’s likely Vegas will be the Western hub.

Incumbent upon this strategy is the admission that if this proposal goes ahead, the 2020-21 season likely won’t start until mid-December or – likely – January 1st.

Also Tuesday, Bettman announced that the draft lottery will be held June 26 and that 15 teams are in the running to win the first-, second- and third-overall picks — the seven whose season is now over and the eight that wind up losing a play-in series.

In the words of Satan himself: 

“Any plan for the resumption of play, by definition, cannot be perfect and I am certain that depending on which team you root for you can find some element of this package that you might prefer to be done differently,” said Bettman.

“We believe we have constructed an overall plan that includes all teams that as a practical matter might have had a chance of qualifying for the playoffs when the season was paused and this plan will produce a worthy Stanley Cup champion who will have run the post-season gauntlet that is unique to the NHL.”


Tonight’s … entertainment?:

  • NASCAR Gander RV & Outdoors Truck Series:
    • North Carolina Education Lottery 200 – 8:00PM | FS1
  • ESPN 30 for 30:
    • Lance: Part I – 7:30PM | TSN
  • Grant – 9:00PM | HIST
    • Episode 2: Lincoln’s General
      • With his back up against the wall, Ulysses S. Grant takes incredible risks, becomes Abraham Lincoln’s favorite General, and prepares for an epic clash with Robert E. Lee.
  • Saturday Night Live – NBCSN
    • 7:00PM – Tom Brady
    • 8:00PM – Peyton Manning 
    • 9:00PM | Eli Manning
    • 10:00PM – JJ Watt
  • Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel – 10:00 PM | HBO
    • David Scott examines the decisions made by leagues and teams during the coronavirus pandemic;
    • Jon Frankel looks at the successful re-opening of sports in South Korea;
    • Bryant Gumbel discusses the future of sports in the U.S. with the heads of major sports unions – DeMaurice Smith of the NFLPA, Michele Roberts of the NBPA, and Tony Clark of the MLBPA (the NHLPA isn’t considered “major);
    • Andrea Kremer talks to Super Bowl champion and doctor Laurent Duvernay-Tardif about his experience on the frontlines.
  • A Future WWE: The FCW Story – 10:00 PM ON FS1
    • Florida Championship Wrestling readied WWE for its future, then faded away. For the first time ever, discover FCW’s story and how the Tampa-based developmental territory was the training ground for Seth Rollins, Charlotte Flair, Big E and more.
      • FCW eventually morphed into NXT and The Performance Center.
  •  KBO:
    • Game TBA – 2:30AM | ESPN2

An interesting night on TV, so at least there’s that.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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[…] announcing that professional sports can resume. Meanwhile, NFL teams have been opening facilities (Beerguyrob covered all this magnificently in last night’s Open Thread), and I presume the league has been developing PPE uniforms, chloroquine* Gatorade, hand sanitizer […]

ALXMAC
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Erotic Adventures of Robinson Crusoe (1976)

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072946/

Mr. Ayo

A girl for every day of the week? SCORE!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Uschi Digard.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Dwarfaetorian guard.

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If you get that joke I am very sorry.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Terribly sorry.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

See folks, that’s the kind of dick joke they look for here at DFO University. Of course fraulein wouldn’t be speaking much if the dick language was proper.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I really shouldn’t have let myself get so wrapped up in watching marble races that the Dr. Mrs. was able to get twenty minutes into Sweet Magnolias without me noticing or throwing a tantrum about her bringing this filth into our home.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Okay, tell us how much money you lost and why you let Hippo talk you betting on an unbalanced marble.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I cannot fucking wait for Señor’s coverage later on this summer.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t think that will help recover anything….. don’t throw good money after bad my man.

Don T

Shirley McLane was delightfully screechy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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TheRevanchist

As long as there is football, we will make it through this.

No football, and I might just have to quit my job and become a nun.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We’ll have nun of that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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“It’s fine.”

Game Time Decision

So, if they have the NHL playoffs in the suggested format, then that means that Leaf fans will finally see their team play something other than golf in June.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

It’s going to be great when they still lose to Boston somehow

Game Time Decision

This. Cannot wait for it

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Please don’t let teams lose to Boston teams ever, unless it is the Yankees, then it is fine, even encouraged.

SonOfSpam

Actually, Leaf fans are bummed because he got arrested for doing what comes natural.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Agreed, this is the sick transference type of joke that I personally laugh at……. once I get it anyway.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Five? Needs more +s.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She’s out gettin’ her some big clown dick.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*Foot jokes……

Game Time Decision

you know what they say about guys with big shoes?

Game Time Decision

big socks

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Thank you for …….. knitting this out.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

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Senor Weaselo

Call him Superbad.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Both balls.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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HBO is going to fucking hear about this!

Gratliff

If the Flyers are going to win another Cup, it’ll be this year, so I have to hear for the rest of my life how it didn’t count

Sharkbait

If Jersey’s half cup from ’95 counts, a Flyers one will too

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Gratliff

It’s been so long since a sports happened that I’d completely forgotten they got up to 4th in points. Could end up with the top seed, which feels fairly meaningless in this situation.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Do any of Jersey’s Cups count? I mean that trap set the League back decades.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

Yes, because the Kings got a cup by beating the Devils.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Highly recommended by this guy.comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Brass nipple armor.

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rockingdog
SonOfSpam

Great show, greater character.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

“This guy fucks!”

SonOfSpam

Russ is the greatest and most accurate tech asshole guy ever.

Brick Meathook

Pete Monahan is my favorite.

“I used to take a tampon soaked in grain alcohol and stick it up my rectum. That got me high. But not as high as you’ve made me feel just now.”

https://youtube.com/watch?v=fUETL5E69FI

SonOfSpam

Damn, forgot about him. Just amazing.

Don T

Good call

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

“Let’s drop some acid and go hang out on the holo-deck, see what pops up…”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What the fuck is wrong with me that I noticed that he’s got a boner?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It shows you are very detailed and used to looking for the small things.

Gumbygirl

Speaking of red rockets, I have a terrible feeling this SpaceX thing isn’t going to work out well. This year can get worse.

rockingdog

Watch out for the Beef Kids
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Senor Weaselo

That’s the orientation pamphlet for Bovine University!

litre_cola

I hear they are tougher than the Van Buren boys.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

Burt Reynolds & Kenny Loggins?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Close…. well, not really. But I’m sure they went to the danger zone with all female members of the cast.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078227/

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

I had tickets to bothe visits by the Ice Bombers. Finally after 15 years living in this city the Ice Stamps and Ice Bombers meet in the playoffs. No fans.

Senor Weaselo

They had playoffs enough at last…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAxARJyaTEA

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Best. Video. EVAR!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, I have disliked the song, but loved the video for quite some time.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Sounds like the NFL season is going to be just like watching the first 2-1/2 weeks of the college bowl games in December, as far as fans in the stands.
Meh, I’ll watch. It might actually level the playing field a bit, although that probably won’t be a popular outcome.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Damn, is it too late to get him on a prostitution charge?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There is several more serious and recent charges charge that could be had with a touch of digging and few less apologists in the congress and courts.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“I could stand in the middle of Pennsylvania Avenue and kill 100,000 people and I wouldn’t lose any voters.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

What’s going to happen if it isn’t loud in Seattle?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

So, the Kings are still eliminated from playoff contention, right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

The Red Wings are still in it and win the Stanley Cup… imagine?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That would suck.

Sharkbait

I think my opinion on the matter is well known by now.

SonOfSpam

With eXXXtreme prejudice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

Found a funny:

How Couples Argue Today:

Wife: cool how theres 4 mustards in the fridge in 2018 and none go with my sandwich. Normal World

Husband: wow its almost like those are my dipping mustards and arent meant to go on sandwiches????????? but ok go off

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

That is fucking spectacular.

Col. Duke LaCross

BABA BOOEY!