2020 Quotables – Week 1 (Results)

blaxabbath
Latest posts by blaxabbath (see all)

Not my kind of humour (dead hookers, interracial group sex jokes, and vilifying the wealthy — c’mon!) but you all came through with [DFO]’s own brand of jokery this week. Not much to add on top of that; here at Quotables we let the talking do the talking! Hope you all got the rust knocked off, as they say, from the lack of preseason efforts. Unrelated: here is a pretty funny quick letter to the editor from Wisconsin regarding the Packers staying in the locker room during the anthem.

Submissions are here and please find below your Week 1 Quotables results.


“‘I eat lunch meat made of dead hookers.’ //:0 //:0” -Fronkenshteen

 

“SKOLSHART!” -BrettFavresColonoscopy

 

“Fancy New Stadium: $5 Billion Dollars — McVay’s Contract: $20 Million Dollars — Game Ball for Beating the Cowboys: $70 . . . C’mon, nothing is actually priceless when you have as much cheddar as Stan.” -Downfield Matriculator

“After dating Lindsey Vonn, JJ Watt is perfectly comfortable coming between black guys.” -SonOfSpam

 

“Now there are even truck ads in the game, ‘Dodge Ram’.” -ArmedandHammered

 

“In retrospect, we should have anticipated that Free Folding Table Day meant that no one would actually make it inside for the game.” – WhyEaglesWhy

“Carson Wentz is studying this gif furiously to internalize the idea of handing the ball to someone on his *own* team.” -Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Does my helmet smell funny to you?” -LemonJello

5
5
votes
Article Rating
blaxabbath
blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
Subscribe
Notify of
22 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
rockingdog

ah shit
ol donny from queens lookin like he gonna have another supreme court justice to appoint

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Tom Cotton is the top of the list, which is the fucking worst, maybe not quite, but close.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Woo hoo! Rikki makes the Week 1 roster!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I had to peek at the letter from WI. Aaron went full Karen.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

comment image

Even these cardboard cutouts had a hard time getting to Santa Clara

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Dodge Ram is so simple and so good

LemonJello

WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HRTN AND QUOTABLES!

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Set your tits everybody, it’s fucking Friday.

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Great choices, GREAT WORK PEOPLE…. this will naturally be reflected in your quarterly bonus.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

It looks like SonOfSpam didn’t need a preseason either. That was outstanding!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

litre_cola

Absolutely perfect.

SonOfSpam

There’s no offseason for interracial athlete sex jokes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

agreed, an all-time great, that

Downfield Matriculator

“Dead hookers, interracial group sex jokes, and vilifying the wealthy” 

Hmm, I thought only the NSA was supposed to know my Google search history.

/glad these are back, thanks!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image