What can I say? Regardless of the reason, Big Dick Vic refusing to shake hands after TNF is very 2020. Goodness — if you aren’t going to stand for the National Anthem or shake hands after the game, let’s just do BattleBots. Plus they’re all a bunch of thugs except Sam Darnold who, to me, is the definitive face of a Q Anon lunatic. Point is, you assholes are paid a lot of money to be professional and you can’t go shake hands? You don’t even have to line up and shake everyone’s hand, you can just kind of go look for your old college teammate, say hi, and jog off.

Anyways, I got a short day today. Finally heading to Zion to start checking out the southern Utah park scene. When I lived in Phoenix, it was too far to travel in that, if I’m going to spend that much time in the car, I need to take an extra day for the trip — and if I have an extra day for a trip, why spend it in the southwest when I could hang on a nude beach in Jamaica (it’s okay, I’m possibly more hung than Brett, slightly in the right light, perhaps). So now that it’s only a 2.5 hour drive, I’m stoked.

So you all did good but you got to stop WhyEaglesWhy from coming in late and making you all look like the Falcons. Also, SonOfSpam is gonna have to start submitting without vowels of something because this is getting ridiculous. Dude’s clearly on PEDs or an earpiece or the ‘Rona or something.

That said, your submissions are here and below are your Week 3 Quotables results.