2020 Quotables – Week 5 (Results)

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Welcome back to another edition of Quotables where, unlike the NFL, we keep to a schedule. I’m not offering too much for you all on the text front today but that’s no biggie. I’m gonna go ahead and drop in your Week 5 Quotables results below (submissions are here) and get back to Halloween decorating. This is my last big weekend push because I’ll be in Palm Springs the next weekend and then we’re in the home stretch of goblins and ghouls. You all be good now.

“Look, scoring every nine months is fine for me and my wife, but it’s going to get you cut.” – WhyEaglesWhy

“’Huh, and the QB didn’t even get killed?’ –Cincy OLine” – BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Nice of the Washington doctors to create fashionable ponchos out of Alex’s leg tendons.” -SonOfSpam

“‘Couldn’t hit water when in a boat.’ -Scouting report” – Game Time Decision

“‘Welcome to the Theismann House!’ — N. McCallum from the window of his Nissan Sentra” -Downfield Matriculator

“’If you get raped by a pack of, uh, Dolphins, it will be your fault.’ – a marginally evolved Mel Gibson” – Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I don’t care what scientists and engineers say, JET FUEL! CAN’T! MELT! STEEL!” – Dunstan

“I haven’t seen a jet this woefully off course since Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.” -LemonJello
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I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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One day, I will do one of these things. Not today. I’ve got to get things wrapped up so I can leave work and never return… until tomorrow. Maybe on Monday. Idk.


I’d recommend Tuesday, since that’s when blax usually posts the submissions

Game Time Decision

and not a single “Cute kid, blax!” winner. WTF? RECOUNT. CONGRESS


I’ve heard of Cracked Head Sean Lee, but who is this new guy?


I went through all the trouble just to send just that Pete clip as a gif to my Hox former roommate. It’s beautiful.


It’s not that hard on my phone actually. Weird.


Who’s hard on is on your phone? That is weird.