Welcome back to The Jalen Ramsey Show. We’re here to have a conversation about your life and your money. Open lines at 818-338-0011. We are here to take your calls and, some say, the advice is worth exactly what you pay for it! Let’s start off today out in Naples, Florida with Mike. Welcome to The Jalen Ramsey Show, Mike.
Hello there, Jalen. Thanks for taking my call today. How are you doing?
Better than the Jaguars under Tom Coughlin. How can I help?
Well I’m calling because, you know, it’s looking like there’s a chance that maybe the democrats are going to pull off stealing this election and I’m trying to prepare for what my investments need to be doing as we enter 2021. I know gold and silver are really good options to hedge against stock drops and, you know, with the impending communism and all, I wanted to see what you’re doing with your money and how I can best protect mine.
Well yeah. I mean, neither the vote tallies nor the court cases are looking especially good for the President. Fortunately for you, the democrats or foreign powers or illegal aliens or whoever did this are pretty dumb to commit fraud with split ballots that have cost them House seats and allowed the Republicans to retain the Senate. So, even with a larger popular vote victory and at least equal to 2016 electoral college spread for Mr Biden, there does not seem to be a communist edict that the nation has given the incoming administration. Or, at least, they are not claiming as much.
Well, you know what a puppet senile old Biden is. Guy doesn’t even know where he is half the time and we’re going to put him in charge of the stock market? He lost Hunter’s laptop!
Lots happening with that so let’s just focus on your original statement. You’re concerned about how your stock portfolio may decrease under the new administration, is that correct?
The gays too. They’re going to want us to worship Muslim and I have restaurants that are suffering under democrat unconstitutional lockdowns and Joe Biden is going to put in place a national lockdown and I don’t think anyone in American can afford this plus there will be no God!
Well, the restaurant thing might take a little more time to go over and the rest of that is…..it’s a lot to unpack. So let’s just talk about your stocks. To start, the nation — not the market — is in a recession and has been since February. Coronavirus aside, we were already heading into a contraction. Not really the worst deal, considering we had been growing for so long. But then the virus hit and so 2020 has been a mess and looking at any non-DJIA metric of the economy, life looks bleak if you only focus on the short term.
But we were gonna have a vaccine before election day!
….
The army is going to distribute it!
So as I was saying, the recent economic activity looks pretty chaotic but, for the markets, Joe Biden is a known quantity. He’s not a Bernie Sanders or an Elizabeth Warren; he’s a career politician with a track record of handling big businesses with kid gloves. Will the stock market continue to run wild on tax cuts and stock buybacks and quantitative easing, which has already about played out since the ’08 activity? No. But there was never a plan to do so.
But he put all the blacks in jail. When he was…when he was attorney general.
Joe Biden was never an attorney general.
Kamala is the real President. She’s part of the squad, you know. They hate stocks because they don’t own any.
Listen Mike, 45% of Americans do not even own stock. Of those earning below the median household income, the typical household owns essentially zero financial assets at all — and of those who do, most don’t have significant balances. 10% of households control 84% of stocks. So you’re rich, you’ve got stock, and I’m talking to you about your stocks. Now, do you want my advice or not?
I saw recent Senator-Elect Tommy Tuberville and he told me I was right for trading my draft class for Ricky Williams. Turns out he used drugs. Plus Kamala isn’t even from here.
Well, to my audience out there, I’m going to tell you the most important point here — your investments are your property. You do with them whatever you want. You can get an advisor or not. You can listen to that advisor or not. Just like a doctor or lawyer or any other consultant you ask for advice. I’d suggest not getting your investing advice from political trolls who sell beet juices or gold products but, again, that’s just an opinion. If you want to know if I do that, I do not. I am fairly fluent in basic investment practices and I lean on my financial advisor, speaking with him at least quarterly and, in years like this, even more often. And we’re not expecting anything specifically wacky to happen by Biden’s decree.
I want to hedge my risk.
Investing is risky. Stocks are risky. You hedge the risk by relying on historically sound and productive analysis. You inflate the risk by doing the opposite. But, as some folks choose their realities, I’m not going to waste my time with the factual reality. But I will say this: anytime I come across a rube living in the FoxNews universe, I take advantage of them financially. These are people being bred to give their money away and, in the words of Maryland State Senator Clay Davis, “I’ll take any motherfucker’s money if he’s just giving it away.”
Interesting call. Lots happening and I doubt this is the end of these types of conversations. But, for now, let’s move on to line two over in Golden…Golden — is this Golden City, Missouri? I can’t make it out on the screen here. No matter. Caller! Welcome to the Jalen Ramsey Show.
Golden City? You kidding me? You know damn well it’s Golden Tate!
Golden Tate? How’d you call in? I’m the one who’s got your number, at least on the field. Hahaha.
OH YOU THINK YOU’RE FUNNY!? YOU THINK —
I beat your ass before and I’ll do it again!
I’LL COME DOWN THERE! I’LL COME DOWN THERE RIGHT NOW AND —
Do it! Do it! Where you at? I’ll take your —
— CONNECTION BREAKS DOWN —
DJ 3000: THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR TUNING IN TO ANOTHER GREAT EPISODE OF THE JALEN RAMSEY SHOW. TODAY’S SPECIAL PROGRAMMING SESSION HIGHLIGHTS DEEP DIVIDES AND THE LONG DIFFICULT PATH TO HEALING. WE HOPE OUR LISTENERS WERE TOUCHED BY THIS COMPLETELY SCRIPTED AND EXPECTED EXCHANGE. NOW WE WILL FILL OUT THE HOUR BY GOING DEEP INTO THE [DFO] RADIO ARCHIVES WITH A LITTLE PLAYLIST CURATED IN JUNE FOR EVERYONE WHO MAY FEEL LIKE THEY’RE CHOOSING AND/OR/BETWEEN ONLY TWO CHOICES. WE CALL IT THIS AND THAT. AND, AS WE PLAY IT OUT, WE WILL SEE YOU NEXT, RIGHT HERE, ON THE JALEN RAMSEY SHOW.
I’m a day late in saying this, but I think this has been your finest work ever on this site.
too little too late
First of all, fuck Mike Ditka.
Secondly, nicely done dropping actual knowledge in between the insane drivel.
Third, YUUUGE pleasant surprise with the DFO radio crossover!
Today’s episode was perfect. Mike Ditka and Golden Tate are both idiots.
Pre-pandemic, I didn’t use my cell phone much for work purposes other than calls to and from the office. Now, of course, I have to use it for calls with clients and others. So whenever I see an unknown caller calling from a local area code, I have to decide whether to assume it’s spam and let it go to voicemail, or answer it on the chance it’s legit.
Naturally, every time I answer it, it’s an “important message from the warranty department.” I just realized that I’ve become Moe Syzlak, falling for Bart’s prank calls EVERY FUCKING TIME.
You don’t have the “Please Text Me” auto-text-reply function?
I don’t know, probably? Not sure it’s really an improvement on letting it go to voice mail. Which is what I do most of the time with unknown numbers.
It’s not really that big a deal. I’m just laughing at myself for how often I think “well, this could be a real call” and it almost never is.
I hated this episode so much, only because you absolutely nailed Mike Ditka, and I fucking hate Mike Ditka.
Blue Rodeo is my favorite band. One nice perk of being a Canadian in L.A. is that every couple of years, they come to town. In Canada, they’re a major act that can fill big venues. But here, they play small clubs. Last time, I saw them at McCabe’s Guitar Shop, where the worst seat in the house is ten rows back, for something like $20. Probably would have had to pay hundreds for that in Canada.