Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 3, #NuAIDS Season

King Hippo - September 28, 2020September 28, 20200

Week 2 was The One Where Everyone Died. Week 3 was The One Where Everyone Derped. [Closed captions for the hard-of-Hippo provided by the Church of the Immaculate Deception, Rev. E. Mayhem presiding] Did you ever wonder what that Most Evil Superb Owl [Falcons-P*triots] would be like, if only a series of ridiculous

Your Hobotastic Sunday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 27, 2020September 27, 2020298

Where were we? Okay, Dead Johnny, a WW2 vet (though he is only 24 years old or so) and hobo, wears a red bandana for 'good luck' and as a reminder of his dead war buddy. He's headed to New Goshen, Indiana for a meetup. Let's let another character in

Your “I’ve Got Your Round Two Right Here, Buddy” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 27, 2020September 27, 2020472

Five games to choose from! Let's do this! TO THE GAMES! Jets/Colts: "WILL COACH GASE MAKE IT TO WK. 8?" I mean, he's gotta be the first guy shown the door, right? Between his own gase-ness and the injury bug taking up residence at the training facility he's got a hard kettle of

Your “Talk Amongst Yourselves” Early Slate of NFL Games Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 27, 2020474

Because there seem to be so many of them we'll go directly- TO THE GAMES! Rams/Bills: Rook rb Moss is out with a toe ouchie so the problem for Coach McDermott now becomes, "How do I limit Singletary to under 20 touches? Hmmm...". He'll find a way. Raiders/Pats: I was thinking Pats for survivor because

Your “Knowing Where You Stand” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob - September 26, 2020September 26, 2020175

It's important in life to have an understanding of your place in the world. Right now, my home province of British Columbia is having an election. The current premier, John Horgan decided that, with his approval ranking of 70% versus other Canadian premiers, he would break the fixed-date election law &

Sabado Open Thread – It Means MOAR Again

King Hippo - September 26, 2020September 25, 2020238

That's right, y'all. The SEC is back, and with a glorious 10-game league schedule. Finally, a fall Sabado that actually feels like a doggone Sabado! But first, you get another Premier League morning, kicking off with United away to Brighton (7:30, NBCSN). This is...not ideal timing for the Trash Birds, with

Sexy Friday, What Do You Mean You Want To Try Something New? Edition

ballsofsteelandfury - September 25, 2020September 24, 2020133

Recently, I discovered that one of our very own commentists has a hidden talent for finding pictures of hot chicks on the Internet. No, it's not Moose or Unsurprised or Spur or even Brocky! It's Joliet Jake Delhomme! His recent posts on the open threads have inspired me and

An Old Friend Comes Home

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - September 25, 2020September 25, 202012

INTERIOR - SOFI STADIUM LOCKER ROOM, LOS ANGELES, CA - SUNDAY AFTERNOON [LOCKER ROOM DOOR FLIES OPEN] DR. DAVID CHAO: [Visibly stumbling] HI [hic] EVERYSSBODYSSS! [The locker room is empty and offers no response] DR. DAVID CHAO: Oh, a little [hic] alonesh time for the [hic] Doctor and hsssh patient! [Pulls out flask and

2020 Quotables – Week 2 (Results)

blaxabbath - September 25, 2020September 25, 20207

I've never kept the NEXT GENERATION STATS on Quotables because, though I think there may be some interesting nuggets on the trends, no one writes me a check to keep them. That said, I think Matt Stafford feels like the most gif'ded player we present on here. I'm sure we've

Sharkbait’s Cocktail of the Week: Negroni. Or, How Sharkbait Finally Got Some Campari

Sharkbait - September 25, 2020September 25, 202023

A successful trip to socially distantly see family in NH last weekend meant two things: 1) Legal sports betting (PRAISE GAMBLOR!) and 2) Cheap booze! A quick pitstop at the liquor store before heading to my father in law's resulted in a nice re-supply for my bar. I also (finally)

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 122)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 25, 2020September 22, 202041

The scene: The Wasteland of the post-apocalyptic future, where Brocky is hard at work, filling in dirt and rocks beneath the wheels of Doktor Zymm’s RV, which is stuck nose-first in the sand after it crashed into the desert. Brocky had previously spent some time digging PK out from under

Your “It’s A Facial Hair Foofaraw!” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 24, 2020444

A special/limited edition Pepsi can goes to the winner! That strikes me as a half-decent marketing gimmick-good job soul-less international corporation. I wasn't too happy drafting 5th in a couple of leagues this year but it turns out it was one of a few sweet spots this year considering who has