Even More EPL – Weekend Three WOO!

We’re into semi-competitive pre-season NFL, and minor league games (aka university-affiliated football) will start in two short weeks. So, cherish the relative tranquility of these Lesser Footy-only Saturday morning/early afternoons. The appetizer before the buffet. The gentle stretching before the orgy.

Week Two saw Manchester City take Chelski’s pants down in front of the whole world, to my schadenfreude-laden laughter. It’s all City at the top, with Leicester just behind the Mancs on goal difference (+6 to +3). Manure and The Fucking Shite are also unbeaten (+2 GD) but who the fuck wants to talk about those thundercunts?

You get the shotglasses again because they were totes good luck for my Toffees last week, who went into one of their historical bogey grounds and thrashed Sill’s Saints 3-nil. When Everton gets their shit together, they can really play some lovely footy and make even a cynical old pilled-out Hippo dream. Everton are tied for 5th with Swans on 4 points.

I can fairly and without bias hype the EFC match this weekend, their home contest with Manchester City is certainly the must-see fixture (Sunday, 11:00) of the Week Three slate. Arseholes and the Shite (hey, a theme!) on Monday afternoon should also be good. Is Leicester going to be a real thing whatsoever? They can go a long way towards proving their mettle by getting a result against Tottenham, in the best of the Saturday 10:00 slate. All three of these will be on NBCSN.

Programming note – once the college football starts, I will incorporate some preview analysis of that as well. Should make for some good open thread discussions and HOT TAEKS.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Omnimorph

My new EPL fantasy league tactic of transferring in whichever striker is playing the Mackems and making them my captain worked alright! Gomis scored 😀

Chelski look to have done a spot of good business with Pedro (vote for Pedro). I always thought he was an average player at Barca who looked decent because he was passing to the likes of Messi, Xavi and Iniesta… but maybe he’s more than just a plain looking Spaniard!

Anyways, now I just need the Arsenal Liverpool game to have like 10 goals in it and I’ll be laughing

/has 3 Arsenal players and 3 Liverpool players in his fantasy team.

Terry Red carded, I wonder if WBA can pull off the comeback.

Sill Bimmons

Genuinely concerned for Saints.

Maybe the dubious strategy of selling their club’s best player for three straight years finally catches up with them this season.

Fuck Markus Liebherr.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ve said it before and I’ll goddamn say it again:
Great work on the late night thread peeps.

http://33.media.tumblr.com/8c693072b4d9c8c14ba95cbe606bda6b/tumblr_nl7shbxRgL1s63c00o1_400.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

ACTING!

It is rather titillating that Leicester is #1.

Croooow

If there’s one thing from the EPL I’d like to see imported and applied to all the pro sports here would be relegation. Sometimes the battles to avoid getting sent down are so much more exciting than the title chase.

Old School Zero

So would a cycling post be titled “Even More EPO”?

Old School Zero

Top of the morning. Time to make some breakfast.

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WCS

Won’t be seeing much of me today, gents and ladies. WCS is headed to the ballgame to drink overpriced beer, get sunburned, and hopefully watch the Dirt Stillers whoop the former Brooklyn Giants. Yinz take care of yourselves.

Oh, and Hippo:

GO BUCS

Horatio Cornblower

West Ham 3-Bournemouth 4.

Well thank Christ we didn’t get to watch that game!

High tempo finishes today.

Spanky Datass

Sacko IS elite.

Horatio Cornblower

The fuck just happened? Two goals in less than a minute?

Spurs blew a lead in 30 seconds, meanwhile sky is blue, Sun rises in the West.

Well that was an awkward goal.

And now a peak at Aston Villa
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Horatio Cornblower

‘That’s a bit ambitious by Harry Kane…”

Well he’s gotta do something to make up for his mom forgetting those orange slices.

Horatio Cornblower

The way these announcers keep talking about the oppressive heat in England I’m guessing it must be in the mid-80’s over there.

Poor bastards just aren’t used to those conditions.

Oh no, Harry Kane’s mom forgot the orange wedges.

ballsofsteelandfury

Based on a cursory Google Image Search for “hot tottenham girl” and “hot leicester fc girl”, I must conclude that Tottenham will win by five goals.

Horatio Cornblower

(Horatio wakes up surrounded by empty beer bottles, a smoking server and the smell of burning urine)

Whoa, what happened here?

And where are my pants?

There weren’t any parts to begin with…your porn binge went, how-shall-we-say, poorly.

montythisseemsstrangetome

So in other words, pretty much like every morning for Horatio.

He’s a sad, sad man.

Horatio Cornblower

Eh, I had waffles for breakfast with real maple syrup.

I’m not that sad.

ballsofsteelandfury

Go CP!
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ballsofsteelandfury

Moar like Erik Lame-la, amirite?

montythisseemsstrangetome

She looks like a good soccer player.

ballsofsteelandfury

She can really juggle balls well.

Can be a bit a weird sport, one-sided for most of the game, but then a frenetic stoppage time.

Yeah, it’s like, oh shit I’d better try now!

Either Man U scores or this goes to a draw.

Or Newcastle nearly steals 3 points.

Cuntler

So what club is Arriaga II with now?

montythisseemsstrangetome

Is that a Gratuitous Simpsons Reference?

montythisseemsstrangetome

I’ve only started watching this futbol because of these threads (thanks Hippo!). So I have a serious question for the real footies out there… does anyone watch MLS? Or is it like a lesser brand of futbol?

Cuntler

Hipsters in Portland and Seattle.

Yes. It’s basically the soccer version of European basketball.

ballsofsteelandfury

Here is my hot taek on the tiers:
1. EPL, La Liga (Spain), Bundesliga (Germany)
2. Italy, France, Dutch
3. Argentina, Brasil, México
4. Larger European countries, MLS, Australia
5. Rest of world.

Big Black Richard

Nah, man, MLS is definitely better than Australia. I’m not sure how we compete with Japan or places like Belgium. Definitely better than Scotland. Otherwise I don’t have a problem with your tiers.

But what do I know, I’m Portland’s lone Black middle-aged hipster.

Big Black Richard

I watch the bejeesus out of MLS. Because I’m in Portland, and that’s the law.

It really is an enjoyable league to watch. The skill level isn’t up to EPL standards, but the matches are still fun, and some of the ladies in attendance at the matches are also fun. If you’re in an MLS city, I recommend going and checking out a game. Maybe hang out in the supporters’ (party) section and see who you meet.