Your “Quit With The Jibber-Jabbering” Tuesday Night Open Thread

I didn’t want to do this but sometimes you must stick your neck out and say what needs to be said. (by the by, this may not apply to all you big folks in the big cities) I double-checked the Social Contract and it clearly states that when one is in a line-up of any sort that one must, to the best of their abilities, keep said queue moving along at a reasonable speed. It’s common sense, right? So I say to you, old women that purchased some potted plants at the grocery store, *INDECIPHERABLE GROWLING*. Sure the both of you thought you purchased a tulip bulb at $1.99 but it turned out to be something else at $2.99 and there was agreement among you that couldn’t afford it and that specific plant didn’t smell as nice as a tulip. This was only determined after the clerk went to the flower section, returned and then showed you the label on the side that said “NOT A TULIP”. (I’m paraphrasing here) And I didn’t need to be anywhere soon but I felt quite inconvenienced. Freaking Canadurr. Amirite?

Tonight the NBA brings us the Clippers (sans  Griffin), OKC and the Raptors. The NHL takes us to Boston, Chicago and Florida. The college ball features #9 WVU, #1 OKLA, #19 IND, #11 UVA and a tilt between #7 XAV and # 10 PROV.

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Moose -The End Is Well NighPorky PrimeSenor WeaseloBeerguyroblaserguru Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Listen, stop posting. You know it’s time when you can hear me talking to you.”

http://40.media.tumblr.com/c94bd82ea0f72564845fa931226510b4/tumblr_nqlzadmMoU1u6jismo2_1280.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Porky Prime
Porky Prime

“Did someone say Rambo III was ridiculous?”
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

None of Stalone’s movies are completely realistic, he’s a regular Larry Olivier.

http://41.media.tumblr.com/ec97672b25d81faa989ebc0ad1a28619/tumblr_o04yv67DVL1qc2ixao6_r1_1280.jpg

Senor Weaselo

Watching Rambo III for some reason. Holy shit this is entirely ridiculous.

Beerguyrob
Senor Weaselo

I didn’t say it wasn’t also awesome.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Porky Prime
Porky Prime

comment image

laserguru

This worst part about beginning the final melt down of the old Up**** site for using one of my old Komments was I gave them a click on their shit content site to find out what the fuss is all about.
They will pay. Oh yes. They will pay.
/cracks knuckles
//cracks beer
///cackles maniacally

Beerguyrob

Did you enjoy the autoplay, the loading of the next story before the comments open, and the Zergnet?

I try to go back for Stroud’s wrestling commentary and commentfest, because I enjoy him, but it’s so difficult to want to participate because of how the site actively dissuades me. If I’m not on a laptop, it’s an utter shitshow.

laserguru

Yeah. This is literally the first time since Ape’s farewell post and it was a fucking nightmare.
I admire the boys for getting out when they did.
Man, I am fine with giving free content to avoid that fucking hoochiefatch again.
Jesus.

laserguru

I forgot travel rule #1
Always have room shots.
I remembered the room beers but forgot the shots.
Fucking rookie mistake!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

This is why bringing a bottle of your own liquor is WCS’s #2 travel tip, behind bring your clothes.
WCS Travel Tip #2: Bring your medication and booze. You don’t know what will be available where, when, how, or if.

This is has been a WCS Travel Tip.

laserguru

Oh shit!
Meds! I’ve got meds!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Porky Prime
Porky Prime
laserguru

Goddamn Internet connection.
I meant to say I’ve been having a great time in Solana Beach this evening with the youngest yeah right, Low Commander of the Super Soldiers, Lady Commander and a fellow tortured Vikings fan. Three craft beer establishments visited and truly good company.
I’m originally here to see one of my favorite bands but alas they canceled the tour. Still glad I came and we could make a DFO get together out of it.
Woo San Diego County Woo!
/drinking

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
laserguru

I’ve

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

hit

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
entropy

I think Superman should reserve judgement until he hears the punchline to the joke.

Porky Prime
Porky Prime
JustStopDude
JustStopDude

My mother has discovered facebook. Now my facebook feed is filled with random links from my mom about politics, religion, and puppy videos.

The only reason I have facebook is to basically allow my family to keep track of me when I travel. Its a fairly easy way to notify a number of people at once about my schedule and whatnot.

But now my mother is ruining that. So now I have been sharing links to articles about retirement homes. I imagine my friends have no idea why I am doing this and think I have just developed a new fetish.

WCS

Run. RUN. RRRRRRRRUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

What is the intersection of people who asked Micheal Jordan for an autograph, and people who have ever worn stonewashed jeans?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
entropy

Is it still considered a Venn Diagram if it’s just one circle?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think it is if you add cross hatching.

entropy

///breaks out the fine line pens….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damn it………..

Doktor Zymm

30 for 30. The best thing ESPN has done, or the only halfway decent thing ESPN has done? Or total shit? Open to all opinions!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Most are very well done I think.
Aside from “A Football Life”, I’d say 30 for 30 series is my fav sports docs.

ballsofsteelandfury

What about the best thing Bill Simmons has done?

WCS

You son of a bitch…

WCS

Second best thing. There is only one answer for #1:

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

XXX to one semissis LX to the other …..

Croooow
Croooow

Reading this open thread and the types of annoying customers, I’d like to submit this one: The people who stand in line at a restaurant and as soon as they get to the front, they pull out their phone and go “Hey, I’m at (so-and-so), what do ya want?” “Oh, they got… uh… that one burger you like…” “Um… did you say no onions uh… hold the tomatoes?” “You want fries? Cheese curds?”. Just the worst.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I would add those that those that can’t FUCKING GET OFF OF THEIR FUCKING PHONE LONG ENOUGH TO, TO DEAL WITH THE SERVER/ORDER TAKER/ CHECK OUT/ ETC. BECAUSE THEY ARE HUGE FUCKING ASSHOLES!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Karl Hess sighting in Baton Rouge (that’s red stick for you non-French speaking peasants).
Corchiani and Gugliotta are not in town, however.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

So yesterday, I went to check out Jimmy’s Graceland. I walked down into it. There was Jimmy and no one else. The place, like most places here, was tiny. Jimmy asked where I was from and I said Tokyo. He stared at me for a second…and then we both busted out laughing.

I asked for a beer. He warned that Japanese beer is more bitter than US beer. I replied that I like my beer, like my women, bitter.

Jimmy refused to take my money for the first two rounds. We bullshitted about country music and soccer. Talked about the last sumo tournament. He then asked if I would mind if he played some music. I have video of him that whenever I find a decent wifi connection, I am putting on youtube because the Jimmy Experience MUST BE SHARED WITH THE WORLD!!!!

After a few hours, two Japanese men came in for beers. We drank and sang along with Jimmy. It was epic. Jimmy took my photo and asked me to sign it. I wrote on the photo “BEST DAMN BAR THIS SIDE OF TEXAS” and when Jimmy read it, he started getting emotional (the dude is seriously NUTS about country music and the US in general). He gave me a bunch of posters when I left.

Fucking amazing time.

Doktor Zymm

I love it, and I’m jealous, because while travel as a solo female has it’s advantages, it’s never going to be this. Okay, enough moping. GADDAMN AWESOME! You have the Japanese or he has the English?

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Oh I can barely speak English goods…ain’t got no Japanese to speak of…

ThePirateSloth
ThePirateSloth

I must bring my personage to this esteemed establishment.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Literally every meal I have had has been awesome. For lunch, I walked into this utter hole in the wall and found out it was a curry bar. Had a spicy cuttlefish and oyster curry and it was amazing.

I cannot recommend Japan enough. i have to go to so many shitholes and this is the first time ever that I’ve been to a place this interesting and fun.

ballsofsteelandfury

That is AWESOME!

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

The extent he goes for his passion is just something that is so cool to see. I asked him if locals come in…and apparently not so much. But its mostly Europeans that find his place. He was really excited to have an American guest and when I mentioned I used to live in Texas, his eye’s lit up.

It honestly felt like you were in the US, until you walked through the double doors (like an old western bar) to the toilet, and the seat automatically lifted and greeted you in Japanese.

WCS
theeWeeBabySeamus

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Horatio Cornblower

Aw man, and I just bought a bunch of candy dicks to send those guys.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So it was a bag?

Doktor Zymm

I’m lucky I was able to go to Syria before shit to fan. I wish I had been able to do the same with Yemen. I dare say Socotra, with the awesome trees is still safe, but the ancient desert skyscrapers? Beyond my gawping eye for the time being, and forever if Isis destroys them like they’ve fucked up Palmyra and the Citadel and countless other historic sites.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Damascus was one of my desired places to see before death.
Now…..yeah, oh well.

Doktor Zymm

Aleppo > Damascus…
but yeah, now, not so much. It’s a shame, I could have recommended food places. There are a whole lot of people I met that I hope aren’t dead. When I try to look on the bright side, there was a jewelry dealer who made multiple attempts to feel my boobs..who I don’t actually want dead, but I’m pretty okay with him being a refugee, because he was a shitbag. Also, I liked all the people I met in Damascus, and they had some good street juice and I didn’t feel like doing laundy, so I actually still have underwear I bought from a table in Damascus. So yeah, also excellent. Damn. I’ve been sad about the civil war in Syria, now, sadness revisited. But my fault, I brought it up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It sounds like your visit was much more eventful than mine would have been (aside from kidnapping and beheading). I will live vicariously thru your Syrian underwear and creepy boob feelz.

Doktor Zymm

It was a more innocent time…ish

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

2 — 0 good guys final WOO

Doktor Zymm

The Marion Jones story pisses me off. Not because she used PEDs, but because she’s judged way more harshly for it than the male athletes who used PEDs at the time. She uses, A VIOLATION OF THE NATION’S TRUST! Half of Baseball uses, WOOOO, HOME RUN CONTEST!!!

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

It’s really all about ethics in sports journalism.

Doktor Zymm

It’s a good thing I know you well enough to appreciate all the irony encapsulated in that comment.

WCS

Doktor Zymm

Dingers!

entropy

I kind of always wanted to know the terrifying truth.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Stinkin’ Tar Heel bitch.
Just another cog in the cheatin’ machine.

theeWeeBabySeamus

To be clear, my excessive hatred is because of her allegiance, not her gender.

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, nah, that’s cool. I accept that sorta hate.

King Hippo

I mean, it’s bad enough she’s a lady, she had to go and be black like that surly Bonds fella we have to keep out of the Hall of Fame (as Costas will rail about until his dying breath).

Doktor Zymm

Does PK vote for that too? I kinda lost track of what he harramphs about.

King Hippo

yeah without Ape I lost track too

Doktor Zymm

But…no matter what, no way she should be in federal prison. I’m all for truth to the law, but I have this whole thing where I oppose imprisonment for all non-violent offenses. And seriously, Federal Prison for being a young person who was uncomfortable and lied about PED’s to Federal prosecutors? No. You have to be seriously hard line to be okay with that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed fully.

entropy

Also: why in fuck are the Feds getting involved in PEDs in sports?! That shit is a pastime, and unless the athlete was breaking a law, leave em the fuck alone.

Doktor Zymm

Cheers to that.

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus

Am I the only one who misses jalibait and mostly non-insane Britney Spears?
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma70bm9PvM1rgt9xuo1_400.gif

WCS

I certainly approve of this version:
comment image

WCS

Here’s the Fightin’ Track Suits next four games:
@ Florida (For some inane reason, the Big 12/SEC Challenge is in the midst of conference play)
@ #13 Iowa State
#17/18 Baylor
@ #4 Kansas

theeWeeBabySeamus

Tough stretch for sure. 2/4 gets you where you want to be tho.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

“ello ladies. Gentlemen. Sitting in the Portland airport, drinking Ninkasi Total Domination, waiting to fly to Spokane where I will spend more time on the plane than working before I turn right around and fly back.

ThePirateSloth
ThePirateSloth

Be sure to check out our awesomely fantastic new carpet!

MikeWallaceAndGromit

If there was some PDX Carpet on tap, I’d definitely drink some.

WCS

WOOOO WVU racks another win, 70-55 over KSU.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nicely done Track Suit U.
Beginning to thing Huggy might have a F4 squad in the making.

King Hippo

Since I won’t have an “NC State” bracket to submit this season, perhaps I will honor the King of Track Suits instead.

theeWeeBabySeamus

No “Terry Henderson saves season, wins ACCT” hopes left?
Hahahahahaha….I crack myself up sometimes.

WCS

Former Mountaineer Terry Henderson!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Haha…yes. I had forgotten the connection. But you are correct, Sir.

King Hippo

well, I’m sure he’s getting as many opiates as he wants, so if documentary films are to be believed, that means he’s a happy West By God Virginian

WCS

If we can avoid the injury bug, which have so far [knocks on wood], and avoid a weird seeding match-up, I’m inclined to agree.

entropy

Can we talk about the X-Files here?

I’m gonna talk about the X-Files here.

First episode was basically OK, if a bit rushed at the end, and was a decent enough recap/intro to the show for old and new audiences. They skipped right past a LOT of expository nonsense no one would care about anyway, and got right to the heart of this whole six-episode “event” storyline. Then they wrapped it up in three minutes with no reasoning whatsoever.

Episode Two? They just decided to up the “ick” factor and show as much weird, bloody shit on TV as they could, with no real resolution or even storyline. This is not going to be a good time for fans of the X-Files, I don’t think.

WCS

From everything I’ve read, each episode of this season is better than the last.

American Pie Story
American Pie Story

I have vague memories of the original run, but all the cool kids seem to be obsessed with Gillian Anderson again. Is she still ~hot?

WCS

I think she consumes the blood of young orphans to retain her beauty. There’s no other rational explanation.

entropy

Yes. Yes she is.

King Hippo

never cared for the show nor did she ever do anything for me.

/I weird

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s only episode 2 of 6 (unless ratings go apeshit probably) and yet they have recapped without being too terribly boring, killed off KBG Nora(? probably…no body recovered but that’s the way my luck goes) and you’ve already got the wonder twins fucking everybody’s shit up? I call it a win thus far.

entropy

My whole issue is that it’s six episodes. Tell SOME kind of story, at some point. Right now this is like watching recaps on a website. We get the highlights, but nothing that serves to tie any of it together. It’s not boring, but neither is it really engaging.

ThePirateSloth
ThePirateSloth

Imma come back to this comment now that my roommate is home and we can watch last nights episode. Fox is still pulling the “it’s posted online the day after it airs” bullshit, because…. it’s 2016 and no one has the internet on demand these days? I don’t fucking know.

American Pie Story
American Pie Story

I’m a mouth breather today.

Horatio Cornblower

That was me yesterday. Don’t go near an elementary school, it will not end well.

American Pie Story
American Pie Story

Yet another reason to avoid having children.

I have important stuff to do tomorrow. I even ironed my pants!

King Hippo

also if you like ever having any money whatsoever, and not having a 5 year (and growing!) sleep deficit.

/also hope feel better soon

//always been a mouth breather (insert Southern joke), would thusly never wear my retainer at night post-braces

nomonkeyfun

Oh come on man. A shit load of 5 year olds having a snowball fight is hilarious. I went out for a ciggie break and saw 30 boys and girls sniping each other. I found myself judging their video game skills from the tactics they used. It was hilarious. They’re all fucking morons.

Senor Weaselo

I thought that was 12-year-olds with the video game skills and their racial and homophobic slurs. And teabagging.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pours one out…

entropy

The “Is Abe Vigoda Dead?” website must be crushed right now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m about to enjoy an evening of high class entertainment….
comment image?w=400

nomonkeyfun

Holy shit. I think I saw that girl in 1986. Her clear heels skills were really impressive.

Senor Weaselo

In reference to Scotchy’s NBA ASG tag-line, how many goals will be scored in the new NHL 3-on-3 ASG format?

King Hippo

all?

entropy

Does watching someone parallel park, poorly, make anyone else insane? If you can’t get it right on your second try, that’s it, drive on, you are now banished to parking in the fucking hinterlands.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons
Horatio Cornblower

I was once sipping drinks on the veranda of my favorite bar, (Oh, does your bar not have a veranda? Pity.), with some friends and we spent a good five minutes watching a young woman across the street attempt to parallel park. When she finally got it right and got out of her car everyone on the veranda applauded.

She bowed.

entropy

We used to do that at the Tally Ho, and it was always best on Friday afternoons. Assholes would block traffic for twenty goddamn minutes some times, just trying to park.

nomonkeyfun

You watched the filming of the last Sopranos scene?

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons
Don T

Old people at the ATM suicide emoji

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

2 — 0 good guys WOO

Hagelin might have been just what this team needed.

King Hippo

is it too late? I can never read/understand/extrapolate teh NHL standings

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Nah.

It’s not even the All-Star break yet.

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

My favorite fucktards are the idiots who stand in line to order their food and wait until they are actually at the counter to make a decision or even look at the menu. Couldn’t use that 5 minutes in line to actually think about what you wanted and make a decision, nope that would be smart and actually considerate, much better to waste time in line and inconvenience as many people as possible, because you can.

ThePirateSloth
ThePirateSloth

If you want stupid long lines at checkouts for absolutely no fucking reason, come to Portland! Where every cashier is super duper interested in you personally and asks about your day, what you had for lunch, what you were up to the 30 minutes before you came to that store, what you are up to next weekend, what’s going on for dinner, how close do you live, that you can get a much better [insert product you are purchasing] from a local shop nearby, do you by chance have a room for rent or you know what I’m just gonna follow you home and move in because WE ARE JUST THE BESTEST OF BEST FRIENDS NOW.

Here’s your receipt, see you tomorrow sir!

/slits wrists

Beerguyrob
ThePirateSloth
ThePirateSloth

And I rode my tiny bicicleta home

Beerguyrob

Doing the Jeopardy online test in 5 minutes. GOING TO BE EXPOSED AS AN ACADEMIC FRAUD!

Beerguyrob

result = DUMMY!

(probably 40/50)

Shogun Marcus

Similar results.

Shogun Marcus

ME TOO!

Beerguyrob

What the fuck is the name of a Pennsylvania county covered wagon?

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Conestoga.

Shogun Marcus

So hoople(head) was wrong? Curse you Deadwood! Cocksuckers. 😉

Beerguyrob

I choked on “Downton Abbey Road”.

Senor Weaselo

That was today? I keep saying one of those days I’ll do that. And then I don’t.

Beerguyrob

It’s over three days, today through Thursday. You take it just once. Go register!

Senor Weaselo

Too tired, too lazy, have to corral small children in concert form all this week, Friday night I gon drank.

Horatio Cornblower

I was on it 1998. I am never allowed back.

There’s no story there, they don’t allow anyone back. Unless it’s like a returning multiple champion type thing, which was not the case for yours truly.

Beerguyrob

One would think they’d allow Kids or College Jeopardy contestants to have another crack.

Hell, even the Rams got to move more than once.

Doktor Zymm

RG3 is injured on the Clippers now?

ballsofsteelandfury

I’d show you a picture of tulips, but DTZM already got pissed off at me once. I’m not going down that road again…

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

NHL also in Pittsburgh.

Ice Stillers 1 — 0 Ice (Newark) Bears

nomonkeyfun

About 5 years ago I got stuck behind a 50 sumpin woman and her 70 sumpin Mother, who both paid by check(cheque) at the grocery store. Neither of them even pulled out the checkbook until their respective transactions were complete. And they had a bagger taking care of their groceries.

ballsofsteelandfury

I love you Canadians and your love of the letter Q.

King Hippo

I’ve had that happen in the goddamned express line.

King Hippo

The new Big East is mighty interesting again this year. Might this be a Gus Johnson WITH ONIONS game?? Them’s is special.

Senor Weaselo

…Unless you’re a St. John’s fan. Sorry, the one St. John’s fan.

/Seriously? We’re worse than DePaul?

King Hippo

Steve Lavin always did remind me a little of Basketball Tomsula. Guess he left a bit of a mess, eh? Still…DePaul? Ouch, man.

nomonkeyfun

Let’s go Sweet Lou and coke head gym rym rat Mullin.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

I still think that Pitt in the ACC and Maryland in the Big Not 12 is completely ass backward.

King Hippo

Football moneys does strange things to logical basketball pairings.

nomonkeyfun

When’s the last time Piit played child rapists in the JV footy?

I always thought of that as one of the great Eastish matchups, even if Pitt sucked that year.