INT. RECORDING STUDIO – EVENING
The radio booth sits empty. A pair of radio professional are chatting casually in the outer office in front of a massive new piece of equipment.
CONOR, THE INTERN: …so when does she get back?
PRODUCER: In two weeks. It’s been pretty great. I’ve been letting the animals sleep upstairs, I haven’t done the dishes in three days, I’ve been to In N Out four times already…I do miss her, though.
CONOR, THE INTERN: So you’re sure you trust this thing? People won’t know the difference? [pats the machine]
DJ 3000: HEY HEY HANDS OFF THE MERCHANDISE. WHAT IS THIS, A MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT?
CONOR: [shrugs approvingly] Hmm.
PRODUCER: It’ll be fine. It’s too bad we couldn’t line up a real guest for the week, but I guess everybody is pretty wrapped up with contract negotiations and stuff. Anyway, I…
—–[door flies open]—–
COLIN KAEPERNICK: WOO HOO! SPRING BREAK! YEAH!
PRODUCER: What the…?
KAEPERNICK: Hey guys! How’s it going?
CONOR: Um…good, I guess. What are you doing here?
KAEPERNICK: Didn’t you hear? I’m a FREE AGENT, BABY! I go where I want!
PRODUCER: Huh. O-kay…
KAEPERNICK: So I heard you guys have a radio show where NFL personalities play host for listener requests and I thought I’d come down and offer my services.
PRODUCER: That’s, uh, very gracious of you, Colin. You’ve got a topic you want to cover?
KAEPERNICK: I sure do!
PRODUCER: Wow, okay. Looks like our evening got a lot more interesting.
DJ 3000: HEY WHAT AM I CHOPPED LIVER?
CONOR: [discreetly unplugs DJ 3000]
PRODUCER: Go on into the booth, Colin, we’ll talk to you from out here.
KAEPERNICK: [pulls out earphones, wraps them up] Hold these for me? [tosses them towards the PRODUCER but doesn’t set his feet properly and the headphones sail six feet wide of the mark]
KAEPERNICK heads into the booth and gets set at the desk. The PRODUCER taps a button and they run though a quick soundcheck.
PRODUCER: All right, sounding good. We’re live in three, two, one…
KAEPERNICK: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Request Line. I’m your host Colin Kaepernick. Tonight, we’re looking for requests for songs about how good it feels to be a FREE AGENT! Songs about flying solo, songs about not being tied down, songs about how you restructured your contract to gamble on yourself and then went on to win one game in eleven starts and that one was by just a single point, songs about how you almost put together the biggest comeback in Super Bowl history but instead now all anyone remembers you for is because you had your headphones on too loud and didn’t notice the national anthem starting so you didn’t stand up and then you tried to play it off as a political thing which worked okay for a while but then people found out you didn’t vote and got REALLY mad, songs about how you’re going to spend the free agency period waiting by the phone hoping that someone, ANYONE will call up and make you feel like they actually want you to play for their team…[shakes his head, pulls himself together]…but let’s get to the music. Call it in, I’ll give it a spin! I’ll get us started with a DOUBLE SHOT from The Who.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRD_gIoVOmY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilfejRhIMBc
I can show myself out
Yes, but can you turn yourself out?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mo_DMGc2v5o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zT4Y-QNdto&w=560&h=315
Almost 50 years old and this is still incredible.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rynxqdNMry4
AH Now we are going somewhere.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxIWDmmqZzY
Paul Robeson- Old Man RIver
https://youtu.be/eh9WayN7R-s
Sorry, I have Yankee’s hatred for Skynyrd.
Boo, I was gonna do that with a story!
(Story anyway: So that day everything ended with conductor I was coming home from work. I got home from work/her, changed, and told Madre Weaselo “Fuck it, I’m going to Five Guys.” And as I’m getting my burger, what plays on the radio but Free Bird. And I’m thinking, “Yeah actually, I am free now.” It was a good and much-needed burger.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IG_vo3gevhc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIycEe59Auc
Was this the theme song to the end of a messy college relationship? You’d better believe it.
Airbourne – Runnin’ Wild
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bcyCvcKwD4
saw these guys in concert years ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVGf3ePIO04
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [swoops in to steal the DOUBLE SHOT]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jBPB9ksLNc
excellent call. rookie mistake not going for 2.
Audioslave – What You Are
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCdkRvXMWAk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VQ_3sBZEm0
One of my favorites.
I don’t even like this song that much, but it feels obligatory:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWpND8GhBuU
I assume that we are looking more for “good” free songs. A I dumped the crazy fucker thing, as opposed to “Is she really going out with him”.
Learn from Seamus’ earlier mistakes.
Yeah, “good”. “Lonely” is good too, though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tm4BrZjY_Sg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pG-Lq6Kc-rQ&w=560&h=315
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siMFORx8uO8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFnOfpIJL0M
I mean, come on…
AC/DC – Ride On
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEX2u5q7J7o
Let’s double shot this shit up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XaEnPIjEBU
Hell yes!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwlogyj7nFE
No Rush yet? How about a TRIPLE shot?!
First let’s sing about the freedom of music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Tq-UsaRchI
Then we can get out of here in the late evening:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEVDZl5UvN4
And close out the TRIPLE shot with Freewill:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnxkfLe4G74
Faux pas if I make it a quadruple? Care for the freedom of the road in an oppressive society maybe?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAvQSkK8Z8U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJWIbIe0N90
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc0mxOXbWIU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EvGn22Mplg
Every time I hear this song, I just want to go on a road trip through the mountains…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjgCqbPGq2A&w=560&h=315
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8A9zFAArJQ
Especially for BFC
<3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onzL0EM1pKY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lWJXDG2i0A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htfy83TiYP8
Since Seamus unleashed BAD songs, here ya go:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWa-6g-TbgI
Somehow, you sound surprised.
I’m still not over the Nelly Furtado thing.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mel1XiBuKvo/U6mG94tvrfI/AAAAAAAAA0o/WVYCU9ZzcYo/s1600/youfeeltheshame.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diYAc7gB-0A&w=560&h=315
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxUATkpMQ8A
This could fit as a double right? Well, it is now…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPDcwjJ8pLg
Make it a triple!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9IUaF57pWU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roPQ_M3yJTA
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
HA!!! DOWNVOTED!!!!!!!
Also, just wait until RTD stops masturbating and gets around to approving my comment in moderation. You’ll love that one.
Tell me again
REO Speedwagon – Time for Me to Fly
*Assist for the old man that forgot to link to the song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZr4XHlHP1c
That’s actually a good song.
Yeah, they’d yet to go all fuckeroo at that point.
Didn’t forget…just didn’t want it in there twice when RTD has to compile the list for Radio next week.
I fucking hate that bird song
http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/d1/d1fc9df15d24846293a226ece1e82a230a3c25e5ed2d4cdaf672de8cd43b99be.jpg
HEY WHO RE-UPVOTED??
AND YES I KNOW THAT’S NOT A REAL WORD!!
CSN&Y- Love the One You’re With
[you tube https://youtu.be/_5IVuN1N6-Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUOtCLOXgm8&w=560&h=315
Count it because FREE Willy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMydOQEqhqE
Oh man I love it.
I liked the new Director’s Cut ending more…
Seriously, no one has requested Free bird yet?
Like Jeff Garcia jokes, that was too obvious
Why didn’t you?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kM043nMsVFg&w=560&h=315
[tosses them towards the PRODUCER but doesn’t set his feet properly and the headphones sail six feet wide of the mark]
I seriously LOL’d
Ditto
Threeto.
Yeah, that was great.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Soa3gO7tL-c
[pokes Commentists with a stick] WAKE UP!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNG11eYIVaw
I hate Ted Nugent’s politics, but I do like his music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KGzXw8-lC0&w=560&h=315
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNtN83-vQmw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3khH9ih2XJg
DOUBLE SHOT with the Metallica cover that I (somewhat embarrassedly) prefer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOibtqWo6z4
Janis Joplin – Me and Bobby McGee
“Freedoms is just another word for nothing left to lose”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXV_QjenbDw&w=560&h=315
This is an excellent selection. Lofty, even.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4uvS9l-FcQ
Clutch – Electric Worry
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0dDSDBBkOY
Saw them at Riotfest in Denver a few years back. They. Were. Awesome.
I present you with 1.5 shots.
Paul Simon- 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover
https://youtu.be/ABXtWqmArUU
Simon and Garfunkel- I am a Rock
https://youtu.be/JKlSVNxLB-A
“Not enough”
–Aaron Hernandez
Cream – I Feel Free
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVcIer_4OnA&w=560&h=315
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zz0JXbwNUk8
Metallica – Wherever I May Roam
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHUHxTiPFUU
I’ll pop back in later…but for now, have some country. You’re welcome….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdYvzI44X7c
Shit, coulda made that a double…bcuz I know you guys love country…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hs0KwA2nJRs
It’s officially really official.
I don’t love country.
This is about the opposite of being free, but it goes with the country-ish theme and features Steven Tyler completing his journey to become a lesbian grandma:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0n40GVcj64