Your “Poor Poor Pitiful TAWMMMY” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • LeGarrette Blount has signed a one-year deal with the Eagles.
    • Because the Patriots tendered him as a UFA before May 9, using an obscure rule Belichick is famous for finding, the Patriots will end up getting a compensatory pick from the Eagles in next year’s draft.
    • Lots of Eagles sites, like Bleeding Green Nation, are already using his old Ducks photos to show how good a 30-year-old back will look in Eagles colours.
      • as well as noting this signing spells the end for Ryan Mathews in Philly.
    • WIP Twitter seems more focused on the Sixers draft options. Luckily.
    • Also, never forget:

  • Derek Carr, scheduled to make $977,519 in 2017, the final year of his rookie contract, is looking to get a long-term deal signed before training camp starts.
    • Rumours are that he’d be looking at Andrew Luck money, which averages $25 million per season.
      • Also, he wants it back-loaded in order to save money once the team moves to Nevada, where there is no state income tax.
  • Plenty of sites are reporting that Gisele told “CBS This Morning” that Tommy had himself a brain-owwie last season, which is news to the League since Brady hasn’t been listed as having a concussion since 2003. Oopsie.
    • He’s had plenty of reports, but nothing head-related.
    • The League may investigate, on the level of investigating the Seahawks for underreporting Richard Sherman’s knee problems.
      • I bet Rog would love to snap another pick from the Pats.

  • The owners are still debating whether to reduce overtime to 10 minutes.
    • They are also proposing to allow teams to bring back a second player from the IR.
  • Bob Marley’s grandson Nico, a linebacker at Tulane, has signed an undrafted free agent contract with the [Redacteds].
    • So, maybe now would be a good time to revisit the League’s stance on the ganja?
    • Also, start the clock on pictures of Dan Snyder in a dreads wig/hat combo.
  • Finally, it appears Cleveland’s draft hobo has moved to SoCal, as he convinced Tre Boston to sign with the Chargers.
    • He took the form of a guy begging for change at a gas station, on whom Boston bestowed $100.
    • Over/under it was Ryan Leaf or Todd Marinovich?

In honour of the awful existence that must be Tom Brady’s, ladies & gentlemen – Mr. Warren Zevon:


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Game 3: Penguins at Senators – 8:00PM | NBCSN / CBC
  • NBA:
    • Game 1: Cavaliers at Celtics – 8:30PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
  • MLB:
    • Blue Jays at Braves – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
    • Red Sox at Cardinals – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN

Watching Warren Zevon videos led me down a Linda Ronstadt rabbit hole. I keep forgetting, given today’s female-led pop dreck, how good a performer she was. Here’s a link to the song listings for her Greatest Hits albums, an arbitrary list of her top-10 songs, and I’ll include her greatest number below.

HEY PLOW KING – SAVE SOME FOR ME!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have come to the conclusion I just am not gonna show up for my linux final tomorrow. I am not going to give 3 other people points when they couldn’t reply to one email all semester

Unsurprised

I heartily endorse this product or service.

Wakezilla

I’m not sure if this is an internet hoax or not, but, Chris Cornell might have died tonight.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

From what I am seeing it seems legit which is really sad. Also obviously I didn’t go to bed

blackroseMD1

It’s legit and it fucking sucks.

I’m not religious or anything, but this feels appropriate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hURFXazJG7U

Wakezilla
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Last one before I pretend to go to bed and instead stay up for like another hour or two

One of my favorite Sunny quotes “IT IS ONE IN THE AFTERNOON AND YOU ARE PISS ASS DRUNK!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yklC7LrWIhY

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, I officially do hate LCSS.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBGGYrFePCk

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’m out as well. Thankfully, tomorrow is my Friday.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv2mjAgFTaI

Doktor Zymm

Imma go to sleep. But just, hooray internet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxbFB7myZIw

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Mr. Ayo
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Still trying to get over how good a show these guys put on last week.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqprhVmv3BI

Mr. Ayo

Guess you had to be there?

Doktor Zymm

The reason we haven’t defeated ISIS? Not enough mocking.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWF8iRCan7I

Unsurprised

Obviously.

Unsurprised

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