Your “Who Asked For This? I Didn’t” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

The day has come and gone now here comes the night. And the fixture in front of us? It doesn’t look very pretty. There’s no dressing up this turdganza in any way whatsoever. [shrugs] TO THE GAME!

GB/Pit: Oh Randy, is there any Case Keenum in you at all? It would appear that there is not. Randy is currently ranked 34th in qb ratings-he’s greatly aided by his 2 TD’s/7 INT’s stat line. But wait! The pile of crap gets higher with the news that rb’s Montgomery and Jones are a bit beat up. On t’udder side of the equation the Steelers probably played their best game of the year last week in laying waste to the Titans 40-17. Rb Bell leads the league in rushing and wr Brown sits at the one spot in receiving yards. The Pittsburgh D only surrenders 16.5 points a game and under Hundley the Pack has manged a mere 13 and change. So yeah, it’s the Pittsburgh Chainsaws versus the Green Bay Week-Old Puppies in a showdown that might be in doubt for the first three minutes or so but that’s about it. But I know you’ll still wander into the fray down below because of the assorted dick joke shenanigans, silly gifs and sexy pics, earthy cynicism and general frivolity. It’s what we do and we’re very proud that we do it so very well. So grab your commenting fedora, your pyjamas, your ice-cold beverage and that snarky sense of humour I enjoy so much and have at it.

It’s all yours.

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Gratliff

So Ed Hoculi needs glasses to watch replays, but is A-OK seeing the game in realtime

Shogun Marcus

Turnover yes.
TD, no.
/what the shit.

Petronel

Yep, Rodgers’ hand is on his ass.

(The jokes kinda write themselves here.)

Spur

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She seems nice.

Spur

She likes quiet nights home reading blogs and eating delivery sushi.

Doktor Zymm

Pffft, this game

theeWeeBabySeamus

Looks like I picked the wrong week to give up on GB defense.
Fuck.

Spur

Go Team Rodgers
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Senor Weaselo

I like how it took me that long to realize I posted a joke on the afternoon thread. Way to go, me!

Doktor Zymm

Damn, I sat Randal Cobb because duh

Spur

I should just call in sick for the next two weeks,

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think I’m calling in sick tomorrow. It’s Wingman Day at the agency, and I don’t feel like participating in all that shit.

Senor Weaselo

What’s Wingman Day?

Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s an Air Force team-building thing; workshops on suicide prevention and sexual assault and such. It’s mostly for the young airmen, but they force the civilians to attend as well. I’m not suicidal, and at my age I have to take a Viagra just to beat off and am not interested in sexually assaulting anyone (I prefer ’em willing), so it’s a day of boredom.

herodotus450

You could take a list of our compiled questions and report back with the answers. I’ll start: will I get in trouble if I ask Sally at reception if she wants to “arm my sidewinder”?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I work for the AF Civil Engineer; engineering types don’t know shit about weapons. But it’s an interesting idea.

WCS

Brav-fucking-o

Shogun Marcus

What the shit was that?
/no srsly, it’s been awhile.

Romonobyl

I am way too sober for this. Being back on day shift means less drinky-drink, just can’t recover like I could in mah younger days. Oh well, I’ll appreciate my moderation in the morning.

Doktor Zymm

You will also have a little voice of shame, telling you how old and lame you are, in the morning.

Romonobyl

True, but that little voice won’t hold my forehead as I puke in the toilet.

Actually, I haven’t gotten puke-drunk an ages, theory still holds. And that voice ain’t little, it screams no mercy.

Doktor Zymm

So last night I saw Bob Downe perform, very enjoyable, campy, funny stuff. If you’re a fan of gay Australian humor, be sure to check out on YouTube.

WCS

Grey Cup is being played in Ottawa, eh?

Doktor Zymm

So, structurally, the Coliseum actually felt a lot like Qualcomm to me. I guess the NFL has something against old concrete monolith type stadiums? Don’t know why, they’re pretty damn good for game watching

nomonkeyfun

Wouldn’t you rather live in brand new house, with an infinity pool, and all the latest gewgaws AND have your pay for it.

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If I had an infinity pool, I’d fart in it.

WCS

PRAISE SHA’NKLOR

Spur

Behave yourself Mr. Franken
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Viva La Tabula Raza

Everyone seems to blame Aaron Rodgers’ absence for the Packers’ suckitude. But he doesn’t play defense, and this GB defense seems to suck pretty badly.

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Dom Capers, baby.

Doktor Zymm

Yes, but he could COMPENSATE for the defensive suck

nomonkeyfun

He does know all about compensating.

Shogun Marcus

That’s been our not secret for two decades. GM SlingBlade can’t pick defense, won’t sign free agents. Capers…well…you see it.

Spur

For the ladies, Rodgers and 1 out of 10 DFOers
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Doktor Zymm

Appreciate the fair play!

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Ju Ju

Ha Ha

Ju Ju

Ha Ha

😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

Viva La Tabula Raza

That you, Mr. Letterman?

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Who’s making toast?

Shogun Marcus

Oprah Uma!

Spur

jew jew

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HYPHENS

theeWeeBabySeamus

I miss JuJu
(yes, I just wanted to say JuJu)

Doktor Zymm

If JuJu or Ha-Ha have a sister, the other could marry the sister and then JuJu and Ha-Ha would be brothers in law!

Shogun Marcus

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Doktor Zymm

The existence of Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix is the best thing about this game

Shogun Marcus

The only jersey in our house. Cuz funny.

Romonobyl

I wish my parents would have had the same sense of humor.
No I don’t…

WCS

While I disagree, I understand your point.

The Maestro

Shania Twain is 52 and can still GET IT. Also, Lady Maestro has said she’s 150% on board with me becoming Shania’s baby daddy if it means we get hella cash out of it. This is how I know I can’t ever let her get away.

Also, the grandstands were literally shaking from people dancing. I kid you not.

Shogun Marcus

And the weight of snow. Ppl forget

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Your reminder, once again, that in a KSK comment I proved beyond a doubt Schiano is worse than Vladimir Putin.

Dunstan

Robert Mueller is drafting your subpoena as we speak

Gratliff

Boo Merill Hoge Boo

WCS

Don’t boo him. He thinks he’s giving a lecture at Villanova right now.

Spur

I want candy
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He is all of us.

Spur

I hate both teams, go Bell!

Shogun Marcus

You don’t say…huh. Learn something new.

Romonobyl

I don’t understand how Carrie Underwood can be halfway through the intro song before someone hands her a microphone.

Doktor Zymm

Also the microphone doesn’t change the volume or production values of the song in any way

Spur

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She seems nice.

King Hippo

deffo a reader/thinker, too

Doktor Zymm

This has been a HELLA (yes, I am reviving my middle school/high school vocab, since this is apparently supposed to be a NoCal thing? And it annoys Balls) good holiday weekend. I’m in fine fettle to enjoy, or at least tolerate this here matchup!

herodotus450

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The Deadspin story on the Schiano hiring actually has people *defending* Schiano.

THE SCHIANO MEN ARE OUT IN FORCE, BABY

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A friend of mine is a huge Tennessee fan and I should find his number to see how many blood vessels he’s burst today.

Horatio Cornblower

If he doesn’t answer that should give you an idea that it was too many.

Shogun Marcus

Schiano men are looking for babies?! HAVE THEY NOT LEARNED?!
/may have reading problem

Spur

Really holding out hope for Manning

hippofant
King Hippo

this guy/entity gets it

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fine by me if she does.
As long as she doesn’t sing.

Romonobyl

I hope none of you were watching 60 Minutes just now, it would have made you lose whatever faith you might still have in humanity.
Time for the footing of the ball…

Fronkenshteen

The girl on the left has a good bartender smile.

Senor Weaselo

Schiano Man is unhired.

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LOLunteers

WCS

I guess they won’t be crashing Georgia’s victory formations.

King Hippo

HUZZAH and LMFAO. Now please hire away NC State’s doofus

herodotus450

Sunday Gravy? Who needs it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9if8gOb4rQ

Romonobyl

I would never buy anything edible from a dollar store.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Begs the question, is there anything really edible available at a dollar store?

Romonobyl

Not as far as I’m concerned.

herodotus450

Quotes from the video:
“They get a little better with every bite.”
“Not the worst ravioli you’re ever gonna eat.”
“6/10”

Horatio Cornblower

Good Lord…

Brick Meathook

Shania Twain is a country music artist? This sounds like disco.

Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s Canada. They couldn’t get Rush or April Wine or Triumph or Bryan Adams?

Senor Weaselo

Even Robin Sparkles, ppl forget that.

Horatio Cornblower

I gotta believe Nickelback was available.

WCS

Back home. Stillers, WVU hoops in the Invigaron Classic championship game, gin, bourbon, beer, and you cheesedicks.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

You were doing good until the end there.

WCS

What is, “things my wife says after sex”? I’ll take world history for $1200.

Brick Meathook

If this Canadian halftime show got any more Canadian they’d have to wear sombreros.

Horatio Cornblower

The Grey Cup looks like it’s being played in someone’s backyard.

Gratliff

These untuck it commercials are a lot less interesting than I was expecting

Spur

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grlknvtahkvoipolikjh

Brick Meathook

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herodotus450

My favorite part is when he swallows it.

Horatio Cornblower

We have fedoras!?

Shogun Marcus

I does! Why I have no idea.

Spur

I don’t think this Trump guy has the average American’s best interest at heart.

The Maestro

The guy who’s delivering footballs to and from the sidelines here at the Grey Cup is somehow wearing shorts in all this snow, which means he is A) a eunuch, or B) actively trying to become one.

Spur

Grey Cup winner plays Alabama?

Spur

A Rodgers wants that guys number from the image post

King Hippo

WOO!!! I have officially climbed out of my deep GAMBLOR hole. If any one of my three pre-placed conference title bets come in (Miami +7, Okie -4.5, Aubie pick ’em) then I am back over my $2K stake.

Gratliff

As a sane human being who buys a lottery ticket every 6 months or so, I can’t imagine the sort of anxiety you feel watching sports.

King Hippo

no way, man lotto is FOAR suckers. 😀

Horatio Cornblower

Just for that you get a shoulder!

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King Hippo

and a fine one too!

Fronkenshteen

Well did.

Spur

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She seems nice.

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