Earlier this week, Blax let everybody know he wasn’t going to be able to do Quoteables this week, which I assumed meant he was having a procedure of some kind done. As such, no one really got around to doing much of anything, until I foresaw some spare time at work that I could use to fill this void. Unfortunately, when I went looking for the bounty of GIFs usually available to the intrepid #content miner, I discovered that the NFL had exercised their stranglehold on “express written consent” or whatever they mumble between reminding you that #footballisfamily, and had removed nearly everything that was previously available earlier in the week. Now, sure, you can blame me for procrastinating until the last possible second to put this post together, or you can do the much more DFO thing and blame the National Disgrace at the top of the organization. Without further adur, I present Week 17 Roger Goodell Quoteables:
Blax should be back from his lengthening or widening procedure (I can’t remember which) in time to give you Wild Card Quoteables at it’s usual time next week. Expect these results not long after that.
Have a fun weekend everybody, and may the Ravens kick the shit out of the Heretics.
“I hear your wife used to work at Fox News. I’m sure she’s used to the good ole FSU.”
“As long as you don’t kneel, I don’t care.”
I put some extra National Asshole gifs below to add to the pool and for those much funnier than I to caption. Of course this may derail the caption train.
“I’ve sentenced boys younger than you to the Commissioner’s Exempt List. Didn’t want to do it – felt I owed it to them.”
“What’s interesting is most linemen can’t line up their fingers like this. Watch…see that? All the fingertips touch each other. Index touches index, ring touches ring, et cetera. But take all-timers like Anthony Munoz or Michael Strahan, and middle touches opposite thumb, or index touches pinkie. It’s quite something, and my fingers being perfectly arrayed are just one reason I make so much money. Perhaps if have more time later, I’ll demonstrate our religious outreach program with my perfect fingers as stand-ins for a steeple and churchgoers.”
http://old.daps.tv/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/robot-hump-conan.gif
Goodell (sotto voce): “Ok, Ron…we’ll get someone to toss you another anchovy in a minute.”
[relieved chuckle]
-Andy R., K.C.
I set this gif to “More Than Words” and my erection’s lasted longer than four hours.
http://thesportsgeeks.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/GoodellVsReplacements.gif
“That’s not a candy bar.”
-R.G.
I’d vote for you last one; well done.
Jesus, if Ed McMahon was still alive even he would tell you to tone it down Mort.
*Ron
That was kind of the joke, that he can’t be bothered to keep track of his boot lickers.
Ed used to study boot lickers and keep track, study, but as you wish.
Goodell – “Note to self, make sure to check for wallet later.”
Is how I treat the players and fans evil? Well evil spelled backwards is live, so what appears evil is actually me helping these young men live out their dreams and every time I punish them, I am actually helping them understand the way to live the white, I mean right way. As for the fans, they can live out their fantasy of being being part of a world that they themselves could never attain.
Jaws, the only way your boot licking could be any more obvious would be if your tongue was black.
Bob McNair warned me not to do this
This is not the way to shatter stereotypes of Polish intelligence
And with a wave of his hand, the Mortbot 5000’s unwavering praise mode is deactivated.
*Ronbot
This is the Jets’ version of the “in your face” taunt
the Joker voice over:
Ever dance with the Devil in the pale moonlight? I ask that of all my victims
“And that’s why being a Senator’s son is the exact opposite of privilege. Thank you for coming to my TED talk”
I call this the anti-Goodell Because it’s tough, good, noble, and gives me an erection