2019 [DFO] Banner Tournament: First Round, Day 5

Senor Weaselo
Latest posts by Senor Weaselo (see all)

We continue in the GAMBLOR reason today, but since it’s all been counted, here are the tallies from the first round of the BLEERGH Region:

1. “Aaron Hernandez (neck) out indefinitely” beats 16. “THIS GUY JULIO JONES I CALL HIM DDT BECAUSE HE IS KILLING THE EAGLES” 26-6

9. “If Tampa Bay has any more abortions on this series of plays, they’ll have the RNC clamoring to defund them.” beats 8. “Slutty Browns’ chicks are the best. But enough about Condy Rice.” 25-6

5. “Spotlight wins the Oscar for Best Picture! Way to come from behind! Which coincidentally is pretty much what Spotlight is about.” beats 12. “THESE GIANTS FANS I CALL THEM PROMETHEUS BECAUSE EAGLES ARE CAUSING THEM SERIOUS LIVER DAMAGE” 21-10 (Incidentally, the quote, like the movie, and the plot of the movie, also came from behind)

4. “These Georgia Bulldogs, I call him [sic] David Carradine because last night on their way to a successful climax, they choked to death and died.” beats 13. “That Kia commercial would be a lot better if it was a disheveled-looking gerbil on the run from Richard Gere.” 17-14

6. “Flyers-Capitals is beginning to resemble a GOP debate, right down to a black guy getting punched out and then thrown out by the authorities.” beats 11. “Alright, guys. What can we call to help the Pats get back in this? Any questions?” 23-10

14. “The NFC East is basically if the Bears played in a division where all the other teams were the Bears.” beats 3. “Wait wait wait… someone was on drugs??? AT ARIZONA STATE????” 19-14

I believe that triggers our upset alert!

10. “That thing went from 9% completed to 90% completed faster than me when I lost my virginity.” beats 7. “Maybe Chip Kelly asked for this and did not want to get fired on NFL Coaching Black Monday because, ya know…” 20-15

2. “Blax wins for creating ONE human? Well I don’t mean to brag, but I just flushed 100 million potential humans down the toilet, so where’s my award?” beats 15. “Gruden sounded like the most exasperated babysitter ever when he said ‘Eli… he’s a handful.’” 23-12

So they all advance to the second round in a couple weeks or so, including a pair of double-digit seeds. (A 10 beating a 7 counts, even if it isn’t that big a deal.) And last I checked about yesterday’s polling, the 1 seed was, like the Providence Friars and Lex Steele, being pushed by the 16 seed. It’s back and forth, and we’ll see what the final outcome ends up being. Onto today’s action:

First Round, GAMBLOR Region

  • 5. “As they say in Japan, a draw is like sniffing your sister’s dirty underpants.” (58%, 23 Votes)
  • 12. “This [TNF] game is the Futurama suicide booth come to life.” (43%, 17 Votes)

Total Voters: 40

Loading ... Loading …

First Round, GAMBLOR Region

  • 4. “Man that is messed up, and right after he [Jonathan Martin] shoots Richie Incognito, I really think we need to take his guns away from him.” (70%, 28 Votes)
  • 13. “Home ice is just a cocktail awaiting bourbon.” (30%, 12 Votes)

Total Voters: 40

Loading ... Loading …

And with that, vote away!

Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
Please Login to comment
5 Comment threads
4 Thread replies
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
5 Comment authors
scotchnautDon THoratio CornblowerKing HippoBrettFavresColonoscopy Recent comment authors
Notify of
2019 [DFO] Banner Tournament: Second Round! Day 1 – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]

[…] a full circuit in the first round, we delve back into the BLEERGH Regional and get a reminder of the round’s region results. Today’s polls’ll cover the top half of the region, making up half of the BLEERGH What […]


Stumbled across a one season comedy/mystery show by the name of Fallet. It’s a Swedish production that is fully aware of all the genre tropes out there and more specifically, the Scandinavian writers that have achieved success. (one emergency code phrase used is Henning Mankell) You can knock it out on a single afternoon that features a dreary, grey-slated sky that portends no hope of redemption… [takes a drag on an unfiltered cigarette]

Horatio Cornblower

Any comment that ends with Richie Incognito getting shot has my vote.


Not sure I’d recognize the guy if I saw him.


We should get bumper stickers that say “I’m a pants less dick joker and I vote”

King Hippo

am looking forward to DonT registering that affiliated PAC

Don T

No dice, for likelihood of confusion with Larry Craig’s “Pantsless Dick, Ltd.”

King Hippo

Hey, a Lesser Footy joke obvs enough to have a fighting chance! 😀

King Hippo

/or not 🙁