So last Saturday, I went to Paul McCartney. It was fantastic.
As usual, there was the attraction of the merch table, as well as what to do with the ticket stub. Now, as a guy, I like to “hold onto” things until I “know where to put it”. That can result in something staying in its exact spot on the counter for weeks, leading to much marital consternation.
Now, as it happens, I am officially on summer vacation from last Thursday, since my role as senior teacher meant I had to work a couple of weeks into the summer. (It’s an extra paycheque, and means I don’t have to work the rest of the summer.) While working on the “honeydew” list, I came across an old box in the darkest part of the garage, wherein I found reminders that I had a pretty good few years of concerts between grade 11 & third-year university.
Those were some good shows, and I remember most of them! Now the McCartney stub is hidden away until I can decide what to do with it.
Also a question: how may of the old shirts I found can I fit into. (Answer: none – I used to weigh 140 pounds & was 86% booze & rice.)
Tonight’s sports:
- CFL:
- Stampeders at Tiger-Cats – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
- MLB: 7:00PM – one of:
- Dodgers at Red Sox – FOX / Sportsnet
- Giants at Brewers – FOX
- Nationals at Phillies – FOX
- Futbol:
- MLS:
- Montreal vs. Toronto FC – 7:30PM | TSN4
- Whitecaps FC vs. Sporting KC – 10:00PM | TSN
- AFL:
- Port Adelaide vs. Brisbane – 2:30AM | TSN2
- MLS:
- NBA Summer League:
- Quarterfinals game – 8:30PM; 10:30PM – ESPN
- Racing:
- NASCAR Cup Series:
- Quaker State 400 – 7:30PM | NBCSN / TSN2
- F-1
- British Grand Prix – 9:00AM | ESPN / TSN3
- NASCAR Cup Series:
- Fisticuffs:
- Top Rank Boxing:
- Main Event: Stevenson-Guevara (featherweights) – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN5
- PBC Fight Night:
- James-DeMarco (super welterweights) – 8:00PM | FS1
- UFC Fight Night: de Randamie vs. Ladd
- Main Card – 8:00PM | ESPN+ / TSN5
- Top Rank Boxing:
Finally, don’t forget to join me and all the Commentists with babies at 2:30AM for the start of the Cricket World Cup final match between England & New Zealand. There’s even an open thread prepared!
One of the many advantages of being a Starwood Preferred Guest are these sweet ass Terry cloth bathrobes. Wearing one now.
This got me thinking.
While the hotel cleaning staff does a great job of vacuuming, changing linens etc.
How often do they wipe down the chairs in the room.
You could have some nasty motherfuckers taint all over that chair and room service won’t even give it a wet nap.
Deep thoughts.
Sleep well.
I think about that every time I put my taint on a random surface in a hotel room
Earlier today Low Commander and I were here in the same bar having drinks with youngest right when this blonde goddess walked by dressed to the fucking nines.
She is 3 seats down at the bar and that cleavage would house the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
Holy shit.
Buy her a drink from me
Tell her you know a guy named Brick.
She remembers.
I was wearing two tiger balm patches on my back when I went out. I took one off and threw it away about 90 minutes ago. I have absolutely no idea where the other one is.
Careful when you wipe.
Balls, I’m just starting the game from the beginning now…and already not happy
Booze and rice?
So you’re…..
Evening
Cheers from the Westin Horton Plaza in downtown San Diego. The hotel bar is lively and I’ve got a beer and a double Buffalo Trace.
What is buffalo trace?
That’s a good bourbon. Especially as a double.
This guy gets it.
Kentucky bourbon. Same distillery as Pappy Van Winkle. The good shit.
Native American sex move
Like a dirty snail trail.
This is one seriously well stocked hotel bar.
And there’s tons of liquor too.
And that’s before you even see the women!
Well godammit I just went to McDonald’s, which I only do once every five years (and only order the Filet-O-Fish sandwich). I pulled up to the speaker and asked for a “Spanish Burger” and that chick on the other end had no idea what I was talking about. Eventually we determined that I was asking for a “Grande Bacon Burger” but somehow I also got a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, which she pronounced as a “Crap Under.” Bless her heart though. Since I ended up with both it made for a good comparison. The “Grande Bacon Burger” is just a Crap Under with Gouda cheese (which is Dutch) instead of American cheese food product and it has a different kind of secret sauce. And it has bacon. But the “secret sauce” makes the burger slide apart when you hold it sideways, which you do when eating it, and I have no respect for a sandwich of any kind that has no structural integrity (or is so huge it won’t fit in your pie hole – like deli sandwiches named after old vaudevillians). Now the regular Crap Under performed just like an Apollo rocket and stayed together and delivered the goods, even though I’m probably going to take a horrible shit tomorrow. God Bless America.
I presume you are higher than Andre the Giant’s genitals
Even higher.
So which won? The Crap Under or the Grande Bacon Burger?
Some of us have to plan lunch tomorrow.
The “Grande Bacon Burger” failed on structural integrity. The Crap Under had marvelous, even admirable structural integrity. Actually I hated them both.
I only bit into these ten minutes ago and I’m already passing McDonald’s farts. How does that even work? Isn’t the alimentary canal like five miles long?
So no winners. Just you on the toilet as the loser. Got it.
Yes I believe so.
I feel DFO Commentists fall somewhere between the mainline extremists on Facebook and large swaths of 4chan.
. . . and HGTV
Pretty solid game tonight but the Friar Faithful leave disappointed. Good crowd and a lot of fun.
Taking 4 hours to get from LA to San Diego was not fun. At all.
Still great to see youngest right, littlest right and our own Low Commander. Now it’s down to the hotel bar for some fucking drinks.
I just poured a whiskey.
Did a double, a single and three Stone pilsners.
Making the best of it.
“TAAAAAAAAAAP OOOOOOOOUT!”
As a former wrestler, the trick is to stick your finger up their bunghole.
Cupping their junk is far more riskier.
The works for rugby.
I need to safari soon.
Are these teams broke? Why is everyone sitting on plastic lawn chairs at HT? How is this acceptable in a stadium that seats almost enough guys to satisfy Balls mom?
This is why you can’t have nice things Richmond.
BE BETTER!
That’s some quality commentary.
That was much better from GWS.
Party!
I Cream of Jeannie
I Cream on Jeannie
I Dream Of Weenie
I Love Juicy
Jennifer Ate
Jungle Beaver
Jurassic Pork
Leave It To Cleavage
License to Thrill
Little Oral Annie
WTF. Is that a giant dog or am I just seeing shit?
Not the first quarter that GWS would have wanted. I wonder if BFC is drinking/watching this?
I think they need to drop the G until HT after this effort.
JACK IS BACK!
First time in 3 months, I reckon.
That’s a long time to store up.
Damn, I’m thirsty.
The problem with lactating porn is that they’re not also pregnant. Cause they don’t milk til after the child come out. It’s frustrating. There’s gotta be some hot wet nurses out there looking for a buck, right?
https://www.medhealthdaily.com/can-you-lactate-without-being-pregnant/
Well, there goes 50 bucks.
Now I’m just horny thinking about those hot, wet, nurses.
Fun fact: GWS’ Bobby Hill got his name from this guy:
I have a question. Actually two questions.
I know there’s a few lawyers here at DFO, so:
I have some neighbors who keep having loud parties. They don’t play music or set off fireworks or anything; they sit on their deck and have LOUD but insipid alcohol fueled conversations between 8:00 PM and 11:00 PM on weekend nights.
My question is: Can I legally shoot them in the head? Is there a courtroom defense for this? I’ll tailor my actions accordingly.
Second question, to the commentariat at large: I don’t own any firearms. I earned a Riflery merit badge in the Boy Scouts and was trained on the M-1911A .45 ACP semi-automatic pistol in the U.S. Navy, but really that only proves that I probably won’t shoot myself. My firearms knowledge is thin. Can anyone advise me on a good (yet economical) firearm for shooting an insipid blathering neighbor in the head at less than 100 yards? It has to look like self-defense so no bazookas please.
I’ll hang up and listen.
At that range, a Beretta over/under shotgun would be best.
Although you really should consider upping your alcohol intake between 8 and 11pm at someone else’s expense.
Perhaps taking the neighbors while they are distracted by their own noise
Are they/you black?
I think that one guy might be.
Maybe just throw a hamburger over then?
Would it be racist to throw a Rally Burger or Fatburger over? Would a Big Mac be race-neutral?
These are the questions of our times.
Btw, that Spanish burger at McDonald’s is pretty darn tasty according to my dad.
McDonalds has a Spanish Burger? What the fuck is that even?
It’s called El Gran Mac.
From the website:
A mouthwatering McDonald’s favorite from Spain, the Grand McExtreme Bacon Burger features thick-cut Applewood smoked bacon topped on a ¼* lb. of 100% fresh beef that’s cooked when you order. Layered with smoky McBacon sauce and two slices of savory real gouda cheese on a sesame seed bun.
My dad got a double.
Holy shit
If so, just call the police and they will do the shooting for you.
8 and 11? Quit complaining, current Clint Eastwood.
padres vs braves! 3-3 in the 7th inning
gooooooooo padres!!!!!
Go Free Baseball!
GWS-Richmond time!! This is going to be the Match Of The Round!
Oh wow, my watch afl login still works. I’m in.
Is the MCG normally half filled?
I think the rain has kept folks at home.
Also, it seats 100K, so it almost always looks empty even if it’s a good crowd.
Damn, did they build that for your mother?
found a funny:
genie: i shall grant you three wishes
me: i wish my dog could talk
genie: done
me: [petting my dog] hey buddy you’ve got two wishes
What a Busch brother bout in Kentucky.
(Not code for anything)
That was a great finish.
future ex wife rite there…..
Sup tit fuckers
/May have started watching Letterkenny
I’ve got a friend of mine hounding me to watch it. Only got like 2 minutes into it and gave up.
Hey, I’ve resembled that remark!
Fuck. I don’t go anywhere or do anything like that.
Now’s the time to start. Make your goal to collect as many ticket stubs as beerguyrob. You have your mission; get cracking. They ain’t gonna collect themselves.
There’s way too many people at stadiums though. I like my turlet and my beer and I can sleep or take my pants off any time I want. Plus you know they make you pay money to watch sports in a stadium. You can’t even skip past the endless replays.
Good news! You can!
Also, I’ve never been to a concert, but I hate people.
I wish that Richie Incognito had received the same duration of suspension that Aaron Hernandez did.
Really only needs about 8 minutes then
A…… suspended sentence?
Self-help remedy
Meanwhile in New York (sorry, on my phone playing a concert)
https://youtu.be/Az1FSLfZxH4P
We actually played the Ring Without Words last year!
That’s quite a collection of stubs! I’ve got mine stashed away too.
The prices back then were accessible. I don’t understand how/why people go to concerts nowadays.
They celebrate this guy and I take my clothes off, one fucking tome mind you, at the ball park [sic]……
And you just want to teach the kids a proper catcher’s crouch. Also, who celebrates that? It’s a shameful display. Does he need the money?
Well, it’s only ball 2.
I bet that guy has had dreams about pitching while naked. Now he can see those dreams on YouTube.
Woah, this is a gif! That freaked me out there for a moment.
Well, damn.
Sweet mother of Mary
This is Mary.
Is that a pornographic actress? If so I will require her name and roughly 18 minutes of personal time.
A Google Image search reveals she is Wendy Fiore. Unfortunately for your penis, NOT a pornographic actress.
She could feed an entire maternity ward of infants, with seconds. No runts in this litter!
I’ll punish him, nonetheless. It sure sounds like a porn name.
Well, yesterday was the World Champ soccer, butt….
I see Justin Smith. Is that from back when the niners D was carrying Colin’s ass into the playoffs? Don’t you mention the Seahawks ‘cause Russell never got benched for Blaine Gabbert.
I remember seeing this live, and I noticed his head do that in the live real-time broadcast (from a different camera angle).
The lesbianing.
My word. The Alouettes. Can’t blame strippers for that one, Redblacks. It’s not all caps. You don’t get to reset the ‘rules’ of the English language just because you can’t think of a name that starts with R.
Who won the Jays/Chisox game?
What is the Venn diagram of commentists with babies and commentists who are into cricket?
One.
Wrestling captions going very well tonight
For those interested, it’s being streamed free on Bleacher Report’s live stream thing that I didn’t know existed until I found out that it was streaming for free. Come listen to Jim Ross sundown in front of a live audience.
https://live.bleacherreport.com/wrestling/all-elite-wrestling/events/aew-fight-for-the-fallen/66423
Is that litre_cola’s last Christmas card? I’m sure it’s on my fridge.
From a whole pack of (naked) cheaters.
OOK!
Bear……ly.
OOF!
If there is any commentists dealing with Hurricane/Tropical Storm Barry, just hang in there. This’ll pass.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kx0vDspgdLc
Not only are people dealing with terrible flooding, but now when they try to escape somebody posts fucking Barry Manilow? You are CRUEL!
That’s like getting gored by a bull and then, at any point in the future, listening to Barry manilow.
“I survived the bear mauling, but had to ride in the elevator…….. wasn’t worth it.”