Your “Can’t They Cancel The Dolphins Season Instead?” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

(Of course their rain tarp is sponsored. #branding)

NFL Nuggets:

  • As discussed in the open thread last night, Jalen Ramsey successfully forced his way out of Jacksonville.  
    • He was traded to the Rams for first-round picks in 2020 & 2021, plus a 2021 fourth-rounder.
    • Depending on whom you believe,
      • The Jags now have a bounty of picks for the next two years,
      • The Rams look like the 2015 Seahawks – great defence; rookie QB still working towards his prime; an O-line made up of shit they found in the parking lot.
  • The NFL has reviewed the game, and now believes only the second flag against Trey Flowers was in error.
    • The first flag has video evidence which shows Flowers making contact with GB’s David Bakhtiari’s facemask prior to the shoulder.
      • Bakhtiari admits to having talked up the refs after halftime, which seems to correlate to the increased focus on his position.
    • I believe our good friend DrawPlayDave has the situation well scrutinized.

  • Raiders offensive lineman Trent Brown is in legal trouble over allegations of domestic assault.
    • His girlfriend filed a civil suit alleging multiple instances of physical violence.
      • According to ESPN, she said she has been “bruised, bloodied and battered” from the attacks and lived in fear of Brown.
        • After threatening to leave Brown with their child, Brown allegedly told the woman that “I’ll shoot yo ass in the f—ing head before you walk out that door with my son.”

Finally, some items that are more “chunks” than “nuggets”:

  • Brock Osweiler retired today, aged 28.
    • “I have my health. I have the ring. There’s a lot of things I still wanted to accomplish. And I have a lot more left in the tank. But, hey, sometimes you don’t get that opportunity. And given that, it’s all good.”
    • Reminder: Denver passed on Russell Wilson, Nick Foles and Kirk Cousins to draft him.
  • It leaked out that the NFL & NFLPA have been negotiating a 17-game schedule into the next Collective Agreement.
    • According to the plan floated by Packers CEO Mark Murphy back in the summer, every team would have, every year, eight true home games, eight true road games, and one neutral-site game, with most of those 16 neutral-site games played in other countries.
      • Preseason would drop from four games, and the season would still start after Labor Day, so the Super Bowl will go deeper into February.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Leafs at Capitals – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Avalanche at Penguins – 7:00PM | NBCSN
    • Flyers at Oilers – 9:30PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet360
  • MLB:
    • ALCS: cancelled due to rain
      • Game 4: Astros at Yankees – 8:00PM | FS1 / Sportsnet
  • NCAA:
    • College Football:
      • South Alabama at Troy – 8:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
    • Women’s College Volleyball:
      • Kentucky at Tennessee – 7:00PM | ESPNU
      • Purdue at Nebraska – 9:00PM | ESPNU
  • Wrasslin’:
    • AEW – 8:00PM | TSN2 / TNT
    • NXT – 8:00PM | USA

Late addition: 

  • It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia – 10:00PM | FXX
    • “The Gang Chokes”
      • Annoyed that the gang failed to react as he nearly choked to death on an appetizer, Frank decides the waiter, his savior, is the only person who has his back.

There’s also NBA preseason, but I don’t care. Enjoy your evening everyone!

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Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

“This Map is not to be used for Navigation”

Yeah. No shit.

Brick Meathook

Brick Meathook

Regarding the banner picture:

beerguyrob correctly points out that of course the Yankees have sold the advertising rights to their fucking infield tarp to the Glad Products Company (co-owned by Clorox and P&G), but has anyone noticed the massive ads for Delta Airlines? Delta Airlines, as closely associated with Atlanta as Coca-Cola and William Tecumseh Sherman? Of course Delta Airlines is a business and needs to spread its name, but at Yankee Stadium, of all places?

I shall continue to fly Delta, in spite of this. They are well run and their stewardesses put out.

Unsurprised

They covered the infield with a giant garbage bag.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, if you ever needed proof he’s a sociopath (at best), this is it.

Of course if you ever needed proof he’s a sociopath you probably just arrived from Neptune.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I mean honestly, just add it to the articles of impeachment. The list is longer than Milton Berle’s cock

SonOfSpam

LONG motherfucking list. Uncle Milty was gifted, and not just in Ratt videos.

Unsurprised

But imagine the ratings it could’ve produced!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Since sports was not in my window tonight, I just watched a documentary called “21 Years: Richard Linklater” for free on Amazon Prime. In my opinion, worth the view.

Brick Meathook

About the filmmaker?

Unsurprised

It looks like it. It came out in 2014, so I guess it covers everything from Slacker to him working on Boyhood.

Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

Four days. Nine days. The point is that fascism can spread with incredible speed, as this school experiment found out. The Dollop is almost entirely about shitty people and events in American history, but this is the first one that blew me away.

https://thedollop.libsyn.com/399-the-third-wave

SonOfSpam

We toured Dachau last year, and the biggest takeaway was that, yeah, it could happen here. It is to some degree because people are insecure and want to blame/feel superior to others. Just gotta find “others” and have a leader who appeals to the id. Thankfully, the current guy is way too stupid to make anything like that happen. But we are completely susceptible to that kind of crap.

Unsurprised

Yeah, but the next guy won’t be.

SonOfSpam

No, the next guy (hopefully gal) won’t be Trump.

I worry about the one after that, of course.

Unsurprised

Yeah. I meant the next Republican.

SonOfSpam

Fair.

Gratliff

Good Lord, Connor McDavid

Brick Meathook

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Gratliff

Oo, a commemorative pee tape coin

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Should have spelled liberty wrong for effect

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think they were attempting to spell LIBRARY, but you can see the result.

Unsurprised

Why is his ear so low?

Unsurprised

Fat, ugly fuck.

Brick Meathook

The artist captured his beady eyes quite well.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening. Fuck this week

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Millions upon milions of dollars, a Super Bowl ring, his health…has anyone ever taken the NFL to the cleaners the way that Brock Osweiler did? I feel like he will never be surpassed in this regard.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Aside from no SB Ring, I think Charlie “Clipboard Jesus” Whitehurst did better than most every other backup QB over the last 100 years. My understanding is that he earned over $25M as a career backup, and since his retirement he lives on some huge fucking yacht in the harbor at Monaco/Monte Carlo (although that bit about the yacht may be some fever dream I had at some point).

SonOfSpam

I mean, other than the ring…JaMarcus?

Viva La Tabula Raza

“I’ll shoot yo ass in the f—ing head before you walk out that door with my son.”

Just got here and haven’t read through the comments to see if this has already been noted, but it is obvious that Trent Brown did not take Human Anatomy 101 wherever it was that he attended university.

Gratliff

Flyers and oilers out here looking like photo negatives

Fronkenshteen

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Donald might be in trouble.

Redshirt

I didn’t know Super Mushrooms were acceptable under the NFL Drug Tests.

Unsurprised

Just for the P*ts

Fronkenshteen

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Make plans for inbound missiles. We are doomed.

Redshirt

If there was truly a Deep State and the FBI/CIA was as evil as Trump says they are, we’d be getting breaking news any moment that Trump “suffered” a “massive heart attack”.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Massive flip to “best timeline.” Thought the aftermath might be a bit sticky.

Unsurprised

Why? They were on Turkey’s side long before Trump got political.

Unsurprised

Every U.S. President since Reagan has betrayed the Kurds. It was as inevitable as the tides.

Unsurprised

BTW, the best argument for the impeachment proceeding at all is a perfectly reasonable point about how no one cared until Trump’s bumbling cost or nearly cost the CIA and DOD billions of dollars in arms sales to Ukraine.

[A]bove all, he must abstain from the property of others, because men forget the death of a father more quickly than the loss of a patrimony.

— Niccolo Machiavelli. The Prince (Mansfield, 2nd ed.), p.67.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Wait a fucking minute. Is that genuine? Please don’t make me do a snopes search…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

WH confirmed its authenticity

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s 100% real, my dude. There’s even speculation that Trump released it himself because he thought it would make him look like he was in control of the situation.

Viva La Tabula Raza

This fucking country is going to burn to the ground once Congress impeaches.

SonOfSpam

That is accurate. Trump thought it was boss.

Brick Meathook

RAIN OUT FUN:

Here’s a collection of Queen Elizabeth II coins I collected on my last trip. Can you spot Rutherford B. Hayes? No cheating.

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Brick Meathook

Here’s some U.S. money. The first is a Morgan dollar, the next two are the front and back of two 1922 “Peace dollars” and the fourth has Eisenhower looking like a sci-fi villain from a Roger Corman film. The back of this coin is the best minted image in the history of human coin-hammering. The first three are silver and are worth about 17 bucks today (the “melt value”) and the fourth is worth one solid United States dollar.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Is the Ike the one with the Eagle Landing On The Moon, but without the post-9/11 tear coming out of the eye?

Brick Meathook

Here’s the back of the Bicentennial Eisenhower dollar (it’s not silver) but it basically proclaims not only that the United States owns the moon but that the U.S. Dollar is the only accepted currency there. Next to a $1000 black chip from my home casino.

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SonOfSpam

I have an Eisenhower dollar somewhere. That design kicks ass. America, fuck yeah*.

*I mean, not right now.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You run a casino from your home?

Brick Meathook

I do! Come over and lose some money!

Brick Meathook

All the non-bicentennial half dollars have the eagle landing on the moon. Actually, this is even cooler than the bicentennial coin. No numismatician am I.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s an easy one, unless QEII has grown a late-19th-century beard and developed a receding hairline while I wasn’t paying attention.

Senor Weaselo

The 1 train is not stopping at 168th Street, a major stop, because of, you guessed it, elevator replacement!

rockingdog

found a funny:
me: mcribs are back at mcdonald’s

guy brushing another guy’s hair at the bus stop: i know

WCS

rockingdog
Don T

I just found out about this
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Don T

And no, nobody gave me that number. I get rejected upfront thank you very much.

Redshirt

Already tried that. I’m so bad with women I got asked out by the lady I was talking to. That’s right: I was rejected from being rejected!

Senor Weaselo

Hey, that’s how I got with Senorita Weaselo. Though it helped that we were stand partners for a gig.

ballsofsteelandfury

Wait, you’ve got to explain that a little further. Señorita Weaselo was working the hotline?

Senor Weaselo

No, I meant she asked me out. Well, she asked me to hang around the city, and I texted Hermana Weaselo something along the lines of “I have no idea whether I’m on a date right now.” I can say that yes it was, and yes it worked.

ballsofsteelandfury

Very nice! Congrats!

SonOfSpam

(“stand partners” = sharing the same music stand while playing violin)

((aw, yeah))

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Judging from some of the posts below (which will be above, once I refresh), it seems like we might have a couple of InCel refugees here. Myself included, but I’m 60 years old and don’t count.

litre_cola

So I just got back after my brewery tour. I come in the hotel door and hear my hotel room door click before I get there. What the fuck? I go in and there is this very good looking 20 something putting a bottle of wine down on the tv stand. NAWT PENTHOUSE LETTERS. I asked what was going on? She said a complementary bottle for you and have a nice night. I had weed and papers strewn about. It’s legal so I feel good about that but I am definitely not a high roller but a free bottle of red? Sure.

May be because there is a casino in this hotel, if I get loose I will gamble.

Redshirt

Either that or a secret admirer has a crush on your right kidney.

ballsofsteelandfury

You’re missing the part where you described what the good looking 20 something was wearing.

litre_cola

Front desk attire. Glasses, 5’8 brunette.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OH COME ON!!!!!!

(but yeah, did you get her name?)

litre_cola

Leah

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fun fact: Donnie Iris wrote the #2 Billboard hit, “The Rapper”, with the Jaggerz in 1970. As an 11 year old, I dug the shit out of that tune. Apparently he joined the band Wild Cherry as well, but only after they had their Play That Funky Music White Boy hit in the mid-70s..

Redshirt

During YouTubing I stumbled upon some videos from a show that was on CW “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”. Seeing how this is how I got hooked on My Little Pony, I want to check first if its worth watching before I start binging.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve heard good things but have never seen it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Great show.

Unsurprised

Another day, another opportunity for the REDACTEDS to fuck Trent Williams, eh?

litre_cola

I am in Medicine Hat Alberta. It has 3 breweries. I have been to all 3 now after work. Makes being in a hillbilly city bearable.

scotchnaut

“Mr. Cola, when you report back to yer sooper’yars, can yoo tell them that we like hats way more than medicine? ‘Preeshe-eated.”

Viva La Tabula Raza

What kind of hat is made out of medicine? Does the name of this town (city?) have anything to do with the socialized medicine in Canada?

Unsurprised

I have the ring. There’s a lot of things I still wanted to accomplish.

I guess winning himself a ring on his own didn’t make that list.

ballsofsteelandfury

The world needs clipboard carriers too.

Unsurprised

I had a good job interview earlier. I think.

OTOH, #ItWas25YearsAgo is trending on Twitter and now I want to die.

Redshirt

I’m afraid to ask, but curiosity defeats cautiousness. Why is Twitter commemorating the first time I saw a nudie magazine?

Unsurprised

Tits get clicks

scotchnaut

The guy that shits on everything out there media-wise but is a scaredy cat about a twitter trend? You must be related to your president.

Unsurprised

It just makes me feel old as Hell. Nothing complicated.

Viva La Tabula Raza