Yowza! Looks like we’ve got a stinker tonight but we’ll muddle through as always. Some of you (me) just might need 8.6 points from Saquon Barko to pull off a W that you don’t remotely deserve. So there’s that.
Fallout:
-Players looking to shut it down for the year after getting injured yesterday include Mike Evans, Rashaad Penny, D.J. Chark and Derrius Guice. Their teams are done, no point in risking further damage, is there?
-OBJ has apparently been playing with a sports hernia. Why did this come out now? Perhaps to combat the rumor that he’s telling opposing players and coaches to rescue him from the Browns. The image that comes to my mind is him in a trench coat and when he reveals what he has for sale he says, “Psst! Want some cancer? I got all kinds”.
-With wins yesterday the Ravens and Niners poked ahead in the Home Field for the Playoffs Sweepstakes. Other big winners included the Titans and Chiefs. Tennessee is rolling and gets Houston twice in the next few weeks so it’s all in their (and Tannyhill’s) hands.
TO THE GAME!
Giants/Eagles:
Of course the biggest news regarding these two moribund squads is that Eli is back for a short return engagement. Will there be flashbacks? Well of course. What the hell else could a producer possibly think of to distract the viewers of this game? Neither of these teams has an O or D unit that is in the top half of the league. As far as fantasy is concerned the Giants give up the 2nd most points and the Eagles aren’t far back in 5th. Did I mention that rain has been called for? It’s gonna be one big sloppy mess of incompetence and Booger gonna get all worked up about it. Enjoy.
Type.
Bad news. Redzone doesn’t have anything on right now
You know what really needs to come back into fashion? Chamber pots. I don’t wanna walk ten steps to the bathroom for a piss when I’m all cozy and snug in bed. Speaking of which, I think we should teach our children from a very young age on how to empty their parents’ chamber pots. It just makes sense – we change diapers, they do the pots. Tit for tat.
/checks Amazon
Ibili 919322 Chamber Pot
5.0 out of 5 stars 1
$34.43
FREE Shipping
Only 4 left in stock – order soon.
More Buying Choices
$13.26 (2 new offers)
That’s money well spent right there!
The back end of this Monday night double-header is dragging just a little bit.
So many mole rats…
What’s Wentz problem? That was a good snap.
he closed his eyes, looked like
I guess the MAGA future is SO bright
deel with it libtards!!!1111
He tried to pray the snap away
He is not as good as we had hoped?
Folks.
Evening. Did you bring your batteries?
Been saving D-cells all year for this one!
Are they for the camera?
hey, dude got his 15 yards worth!
Damnit! Living in the snow makes it so tough to make a casual getaway from an awkward chat up at a bar so hard! Now I have to be civil for another five minutes waiting for my engine. My creepy ass neighbours….
So…. Do you like… stuff?
…so many nosebleeds.
I could help shovel your driveway! – Eager 23-year old
Who’s a good boy?
Eli shouldn’t even sniff the hall. Outside of two years, he’s trash. McNabb has a stronger claim and doesn’t belong.
But he has an above .500 career record!
And 2 (two) Superb Owls.
He has exactly .500 career record!
Not after tonight.
Eli helped blowup the Death Star twice
He’s at best R2-D2
He should be allowed to sniff it.
“Why, did someone throw a stink bomb out there?” – Eli Manning, snickering innocently
I see this game is still looking like a snuff film
yay. that’s the stuff i want to see. 3 and out.
Booger disgusted by everything he’s seeing just like everyone else
Never thought I’d see ‘Booger’ and ‘disgusted’ in the same sentence.
Lol the turtle sack
Let’s get some Eagle dropped passes to really complete this fan experience.
Last time a Bostonian questioned the validity of a tape so hard it was the Zapruder film
Cheers!
That was a great movie. Action packed.
4.3 points away from my totally undeserved victory in a money league. You can do this Barko!
PPR?
Standard. No peeing at all. That’s just gross.
I dont need some Boomer yelling at me.
ok
He ruined the housing market!
The essential eagles tweet
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Someone needs to watch Eli and make sure he doesn’t eat too many orange slices and hurt his tummy. We need him healthy for the 2nd half
… but mebbe you do?
I love that highlight of Ciara’s husband getting sacked. It brings joy to my cold, cold heart.
(Fade in, we’re in a park, it looks cold and gray and dreary. A lone figure wearing both Duke and Giants blue is sitting on a bench reading the Boston Globe.)
(Enter, stage left, a stubby figure in an oversized grey hooded sweatshirt. He sits down on the bench. After a moment he pulls a crumpled brown paper bag from somewhere inside the depths of heathered cotton draped over him. He sets it on the bench between him and the paper reader.)
“Grumble-grumble ya did good kid grumble say hi to your mom grumble.”
(The hooded figure gets up and walks off into a mist, disappearing. )
(The Dookie takes a diamond ring out of the bag and slips it on. He tosses the paper aside and gets up and walks away. We slowly zoom in on the paper’s headline: “Pats win super bowl again, probably because the Giants weren’t there to beat them”)
Does he get his throat slit next?
The only team I hate more than Dallas is Philly
No 1st rounder for the P*ts next year, no 2nd in 2021 (they traded next year’s 2nd already).
Are we doing fucking spygate again? Take all their rings
It’d be nice to have the videos from the first time to compare to this time.
your vengeance is getting to watch them get their shit pushed in by the SEA/SF loser
“Unknowingly”
“Independent firm”
grumble grumble I knew it was a great idea just to avoid paying for health insurance, grumble grumble
That’s what Kraft orders when he wants a new girl to pull on his pud
Shut the fuck up, Sherman, and just fill up your health bars
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15Oz4k6jwQI
Slayton just might be something.
YES, the Non-Gendereds could TOTES go to the playoffs at 6-10, and we must harness our collective energy to will that into fruition.
Jeeeeeeesus
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3iOMywQqSU
Get those C cell batteries ready.
His wife wasn’t shamed by his gameplay today!
the fans of BOTH the most recent Superb Owl champions boo their sides off at the half (down two scores)
The only guy in Philly to wear a condom and he is doing it wrong
Booger going full Aikman on Philly
Go get your shinebox, Wentz.
More booing! More batteries!
Fucking go off, booger. They have it coming.
Eli: Not disappointing so far.
ELI MANNING IS BACK
and BLACKER than ever!!
Coach cant make me shower if i don’t have to play – Eli
SLAYTONDOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
pssstttt – guess who picked up Slayton in DFO ball yesterday?
😀
Ahahaha
Here’s a standard ball and an aramith ball:
Here’s my balls:
[image]
why is one of your balls bigger than the other??
Now RUN OUT THE CLOCK, dickasses
Looks like alshon tore his Achilles so fuck
I loved watching him when he was a Bear and the even mediocrity of Cutler made him look good.
That Monday Night game he had against Dallas that one year was one of the best WR games I’d ever seen a Bear have.
still say we hold Catler’s personality against him. Otherwise, he was really very good. Not GREAT, mind. But very good.
Like the way we pronounce “Wednesday,” Dallas being in the NFC East is some kind of collective delusion. THey should really rename it something cool like the NFC Leaders Division.