Your “Fantasy Semi-Finals Ahoy!” NFL Football Open Thread

Just don’t tell me your league has their final on week 17 because that’s plain silly.

TO THE GAMES!

Pats/Cincy:

As per the usual, New England has pattycakes on their sked down the stretch. (we can pretend that the Bills will give them a tussle in Patsland but, no) This will be the 10th straight year that they get a bye thru the first round of the playoffs.

Bucs/Lions:

There have been 9 wr’s that are ranked in the top 25 in fantasy that have played the Lions. As a group they average 25 points in those games. So yeah, Golloday. On tudder side Jameis is good to go vs. a Lions D that has given up a minimum of 2 passing scores in every single game this year.

Bears/Packers:

Green Bay gives up all kinds of scores to rb’s so that’s good news to David Montgomery who has been given every oppo but just. can’t. get. it. going. Poor Chicago fans-Truth Biscuit has turned things around just enough so that the front office won’t go looking for another qb in the offseason. And that means at least one more year of below average play at the qb spot while the team has a dominant D. Suckers.

Potato Skins/Eagles:

Rook McLaurin has the highest target share of any wr corps in the NFL. Sure it’s the league’s lousiest but he should do well vs. a Philly secondary that is looking almost as bad as the Bucs.

Fins/Giants:

Who cares? Actually, I do because I’m chasing last week’s Darius Slayton points. Fifth place in one (not anymore) money league will be mine!

Broncs/Chiefs:

I guess it was during the bye week that it was decided that Lindsay should get the loaf of bread. Since then he’s out-touched Freeman 72-32. You wouldn’t characterize the Chiefs D as ‘good’ but they defend the outside receivers better than anyone else in the league. Still, if you’ve got Sutton you have to play him, right?

Texans/Titans:

There were worries that rb Henry wouldn’t be able to go after he missed practices midweek but it turns out that the Titans are flirting with this ‘load management’ thingy that’s all the rage in NBAland. And who deserves a break more than Henry?

Seahawks/Panthers:

With Penny out this week, Carson can fumble to his heart’s content and not worry about being pulled. Who does he think he is, Daniel Jones? Btw, the Panthers run D is giving up an average of 5.34 yards per rush. As Bill The Cat would say, “GAK!”.

Good luck to you if you’ve made the semis. I’ve got a semi for you.

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ballsofsteelandfury

400!

TheRevanchist

Good ending to that Bears-Rodgers game

bk109

Well, that was Bearsier than usual…

Viva La Tabula Raza

That was one crazy fucking play there at the end in Lambeau, gotta say.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I know this is Trump World, where the Fantastic is True, but there’s no way Haskins can throw the ball 110 yards, announcer dude.

Gatoraids

Way past time to put Eli to bed

Gratliff

NEVER IN DOUBT

Mr. Ayo

FOR THE COVER!!!

Gratliff

Don’t you fucking dare let them do this, Philly

theeWeeBabySeamus

See? What were you worried about?

Spur

See, Washington should have let Philly score to gave themselves some time here.

Gratliff

HOLY SHIT A REAL LIFE WR MADE A REAL LIFE PLAY FOR WENTZ

Petronel

Nice catch

Col. Duke LaCross

We all know how this is gonna end.

Spur

in tears?

Col. Duke LaCross

Way past that point in life with these assholes.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can we please get some bungles garbage time points to fuck up NE Def?

Gatoraids

More likely to get pick 6s cursed monkey palm style

Spur

Just let the Eagles score.

Redshirt

Gingerception IV: The Voyage to the Waiver Wire

Gatoraids

Better dead than red

Spur

Tittyboy is ass

Spur

Let’s go Tittyboy. i want some sad cheese.

Col. Duke LaCross

Well, shit.

Spur

FuckLions need to blow it up.

Spur

Wentz earning that hate

Gratliff

Fucking welp

bk109

Bengals gonna Bungle… Then Rex wrexxx 😀

Gratliff

People think they have to find some health benefit to drinking alcohol or that idea even makes sense. You’re drinking the happy version of cyanide because we live in hell this is not complicated and does not require an apology.

— SwiftOnSecurity (@SwiftOnSecurity) December 15, 2019

Redshirt

That was the saddest onside kick I’ve ever saw.

litre_cola

Mrs. Cola. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!?!?!?

Gratliff

Saquon and Miles are gonna have some big-time duels in the future. PSU still should have gotten the death penalty

Spur

Da Bears comment image

litre_cola

Buddy approved

Gatoraids

Godwin why has your hamstring forsaken me

litre_cola

ERTZDOWN!!!

King Hippo

Dacteds y Gigantes might BOTH win…

Gratliff

Eagles hammer the football so well that I wonder why they don’t just run it every fucking down

litre_cola

BEcause we need an ERTZDOWN

Gratliff

It’s the only goalline play in their book

Gatoraids

Barkely number one draft pick next year if they play the Dolphins every week

litre_cola

Ertzdown plz.

Viva La Tabula Raza

This PHI-WAS feature has been surprisingly entertaining.

Gatoraids

From Gumbo, gumbo gumbo to Skyline chili pray for Burrow

Col. Duke LaCross

Hicks ded.

Spur

that wont stop them from voting for Republicans

Col. Duke LaCross

Indeed.

King Hippo

THANKS Obama!!!!11111

litre_cola

Oh Eagles.

Mr. Ayo

“Bill told us he had a lot of fun taping”

— Out of Context Quotes

Spur

AD AD AD AD AD

Spur

Kelce is the abominable snowman.

Mistborn Impossible

Wow Kansas City. Even if you overlook the racistness of that chant, that was some pathetic execution. Everyone was out of sync, just waving their hands randomly in the air. I used to attend Braves games in Atlanta as a kid, before I understood how racist the chant was, but we at least got the rhythm right.

Spur

Donk QB is confusing . Just give ball to Lindsay.

Mr. Ayo

He’s got that Elway stank on him now.

Redshirt

Gingerception III: The Search for Burrow

Gatoraids

Bengals already published their signals on Wikipedia

King Hippo

The Snow Bunny Badger?

/ouch my Donks WOO!!! butthole

King Hippo

Methinks I has learned to love the AFC South.