Your “Can They Actually Do It?” Saturday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

I did everything right. I was smart about it. I had Cookie Monster as a starter and grabbed the handcuff Mattison in case things went awry. So both go down  and I put in a waiver claim for Boone but my opponent in the final had priority and he got him. Damn it! (It’s probably karmic payback for me grabbing Kenyan Drake when I never planned to play him because I noticed that the fella that had David Johnson needed him badly) So the waiver wire left me with “Come Mr. Perriman, Tally Me Bananas” and he pairs up with Jameis, McLaurin, Hill, Singletary, Henry, Hooper and McCaffrey. And I can’t even watch the games because stupid obligations. Everything sucks balls.

TO THE GAME!

Bills/Pats:

The first time around in Buffalo it was a one score loss courtesy of qb Allen’s three intercepts. All the talk was about the way New England’s D was destroying all the patsies they were skedded against. What was ignored and has become increasingly obvious is that the O is critically flawed. I’ll call it here-the Pats will lose before their supposed visit to Baltimore in the AFC title game. Brady’s increasingly noodle-ly appendage means that receivers must be in the exact spot where the play requires them to be otherwise the play is dead. And those receivers just can’t get separation and there’s not a home run hitter in the bunch. Look for New England to get sneaky with their blitzing in order to confuse the youngster Allen. (He’s the 6th ranked qb in fantasy, btw-who’da thunk that?) Singletary wasn’t around last time and could make the difference-we shall see.

Have at it, squirrels and boys!

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bk109

So, where’s like the late game’s thread? I purposely avoided yer all, ’cause … uhm… I didn’t want let my inner massholeness shine on through and melt yer faces Ark of the Covenant-style 😀

Mr. Ayo

Look up! It’s right there!

bk109

It wasn’t there a minute ago… OR was it..? Think it wasn’t but I have no proof, but … uhhh………. I is confuse

Senor Weaselo

Chris Rose with LT? Going from Bite Force to Bike Force.

Unsurprised

For Brocky
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Brocky

SUPPAMAN!!!

King Hippo

A weary world now depends on th GODDAMNED MIAMI LOLFINS nexy Sunday.

bk109

For what? We’ve got the 11th straight (and 18th-ish? I kinda lost count) AFC East title? And type slowly, I’ve been dranking since the Bills TD at the end of the first half

King Hippo

12-4, you play the WC round and would be on the road after that (lose tiebreak with KC)

BrettFavresColonoscopy

THESE BUFFALO BILLS I CALL THEM MY FIRST CRUSH BECAUSE THEY GAVE ME HOPE AND THEN RIPPED MY HEART OUT

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, they didn’t say your dick is tiny at least.

Senor Weaselo

THIS FOOTBALL GAME, I CALL IT DEWEY’S BIRTHDAY.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ftdu8yrKOw

Sharkbait

I hope the Lexus givers have their houses burn down

theeWeeBabySeamus

I want the puppy from the GMC commercial.
Wouldn’t hate taking the girl home either.
Might have to kill and bury the guy I guess, we do what we gotta do.

Sharkbait

SCOTCHY!

Brocky

If you burn their house down, doesn’t that technically make them homeless?

Unsurprised

Yes

theeWeeBabySeamus

She Shed?

King Hippo

this is a good FITBAW match, except how we know it will end

Mr. Ayo

Bills go for two and fail? NE wins and I lose the cover?

Sounds about right.

King Hippo

too much time to go fer two, NE either gets the stop here, or wins coin flip and TD drive in OT

Mr. Ayo

Right, darkest timeline.

DAMN YE HOPE

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Except will the borderline criminal blown call be one that benefits the Patriots offense, or the Patriots defense? TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!

King Hippo

YES?

Sharkbait

Damn that was an impressive sneak

Brocky

I need a gif of that Josh allen hop

Unsurprised

Link me and I’ll make it when I come back

https://twitter.com/search?q=%22Josh%20Allen%22&src=tren

Brocky
theeWeeBabySeamus

Dammit Buffalo, you had one job!!!!!!

Mr. Ayo

I know. ZERO dildos.

So disappointing .

Unsurprised

Less reluctant boobs
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Unsurprised

& A
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theeWeeBabySeamus

That is one nice seascape.

ArmedandHammered

With those canines, I think she is a vampire.

Brocky

Reluctant boobs gif

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Mr. Ayo

My wife just saw a photo of Joe Burrow for the first time. She looked at me and then started laughing her ass off

— Drew Magary (@drewmagary) December 22, 2019

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Sharkbait

I think that couple in the McDonald’s ad is going to rob that woman

Brocky

What the hell was he throwing at?

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Game Time Decision

Brady runs and gets hit and no penalty flag. I’m shocked

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Someone tackled Brady? That will be a fine at the very least.

Brocky

As big as a horror buff as I am, you would think I had seen more Christmas horror movies. Alas, i have not, besides the aforementioned jacknfrost and this film, I just haven’t had the time

Also, I will never not find the idea of goldberg, a full blooded Jewish man playing Santa utterly hilarious

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Sharkbait

I can’t imagine Christmas horror is a genre with a lot in it’s library.

Gratliff

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Brocky

There’s a top ten list out there somewhere.

Off the top of my head i can think of “black Christmas” and “silent night deadly night” , and maybe gremlins.

Gratliff

The original Tales from the Crypt movie had a Santa bit too. I believe it involved a parent ignoring the daughter telling them she was talking to Santa and then her leading a homeless dude in a Santa outfit to murder them or something of the sort. It was a weird movie.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That poster looks too much like it says “Santa’s Slav”.

Game Time Decision

We welcome our new Russian overlords

Sharkbait

Christmas in the baltics? That might start another war

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

There’s a judge on iron chef America whose name is Judy Joo, which is also what Uncle Ed called “that children’s book broad from the 70s”.