Your Tennessee/New England Wild Card Game Open Thread

TO THE GAME!

Titans/Pats:

 

-Of any year, this is the one where the Pats needed the bye the most. They are starting to look old-ish in my opinion. They really are a 10-6 club that was gifted some wins way back in the fall.

-Everyone’s mother is saying that them Tits are built to win this game and I can’t disagree. Belichick is going to have to try to take rb Henry out of this game (says a silent prayer for the continued health of his hammy) and I don’t think he’ll be able to do it. I mean, he’ll probably end up with a stat line of 28 carries for 105 yards and that will be enough to carry the team to the win. He’s a battering ram and if he can get to the 2nd level he’s murder. Speaking of, he should get at least 3 passes this game because he does have a tendency to break a long one on the rare times he’s involved in the passing game.

-The Pats playmaker-less, running back passing game O (where have you gone, Sanu?) is going to be their undoing and it’s just a matter of time. Brady’s throws are still crisp 10 yards and in but any longer than that and things start to get wonky. That’s why he’s had just the one 300+ game in his last ten and why I think the D needs to score a six spot in order for New England to get it done.

-The weather (light rain throughout the game) might just make this tilt a boring mess but we’ll still watch.

-Prediction Time. I’ll go 20-17 Titans. They’ll have to 1. outscore the Pats in the 4th, and 2. get the last points of the game in order to pull this out.

Your turn.

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rockingdog
ballsofsteelandfury

I just had an intriguing thought: Kraft loves Brady and keeps him for another year. Belichick says Fuck You and takes the Cowboys job. McDaniels becomes coach of the Pats.

Gratliff

For the last time: PLEASE don't say the Patriots dynasty was built on a cheating scandal. It was built on three cheating scandals

— Sam (@danceremix) January 5, 2020

Gratliff

After the Pats game, Chris Long tipped somebody $41.33 on a $56 bill and shared it on Twitter. Pats fans reacted reasonably, and he’s spent the entire night shaming them. It’s been a lot of fun to see.
https://twitter.com/JOEL9ONE/status/1213700286520479744

Unsurprised

Final reminder
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Unsurprised

Speaking of football and handjobs
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Gratliff

I never realized that ligers were a real thing. I assume everyone who takes photos like this end up eaten.
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Unsurprised

They don’t, but they should.

Gratliff

It’s fat as shit too. I feel like it’s ill-advised to train a monster predator to be used to copious amounts of food. “Shit. Money’s gonna be a little tight this month. Better barricade the bedroom door.”

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

Go TITS!
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Unsurprised

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Gratliff

NJPW World crashes during Liger’s farewell at the end of the match. The internet was a mistake.

Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Great game Tit.s!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

Alters are laid out.

Blood was not shed but the tissue wasn’t soft.
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I’ve done New Orleans before.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The Right household should probably hide the knives.

yeah right

All bets are off.

Gratliff

Team Dingleberry for at least one day

Unsurprised

The NFL is so stupid.

It's imperative after the last nine games when the Pats offense degraded on a weekly basis and he bailed on the Colts just two years ago that Josh McDaniels receive no fewer than five head coaching interviews

— Mike Tunison (@xmasape) January 5, 2020

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

You don’t hire people who coached with Belichick you hire people who played for him. And Guatemalans because they’re cheap labor.

Brick Meathook

Hire Vietnamese. They have a better work ethic and respond to orders.

yeah right

and make a hell of a spring roll

Beerguyrob

“But their right arms give out pretty easily. Trust me.”

— Robert Kraft.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

So if Belichick v Vrabel was a chess match, McDermott v O’Brien was two double amputees trying to play tether ball.

Beerguyrob

Banner!

Gratliff

Back in 1997, WCW had a working agreement with New Japan, and was going to send over Chris Jericho as he was rising to stardom to work a program with Jyushin Thunder Liger. The idea was for him to be an evil version called Super Liger. Jericho wrote in his book that he was shocked at how hard it was for him to see in the mask and move in the suit, and in the debut of Super Liger, he fucked up horribly throughout in front of 50,000+ fans and was laughed out of the arena. New Japan immediately cancelled the Liger vs. Liger angle and had him work as himself until he went back to the States.
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Gratliff

Relevant because Chris Jericho is also working at Wrestle Kingdom tonight. In wrestling, you either get found dead in a motel at 35, or you work until you’re 70. Those are the rules.

yeah right
yeah right

all of it.

Mr. Ayo

OMG, we’re only a month away from a brand new season of Sunday Gravy!!!!!

yeah right

Dude, I got some shit lined up!

Mr. Ayo

Um, no offense, but GROSS!

Gratliff

Starting Wrestle Kingdom night 2 with Jyushin Thunder Liger’s final match
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8l-KkMINTgE

Unsurprised

My main takeaway from the news in Australia is that more people should feel empowered to tell feckless, incompetent, corrupt pieces of shit politicians to get fucked sideways to their faces and preferably on TV.

yeah right

As we all should.

yeah right
Viva La Tabula Raza

Love this album and song, just sad that both my dogs at this time are getting old and groggy.

yeah right

I still haven’t bought a pet since Maggie died.

Not sure I could handle it again.

Oh but I did see Boingo three times live back in the 80’s.

WOO!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym2huLDA_rE

Viva La Tabula Raza

Saw them twice in Austin and once in Houston. I reckon both of those locales were a little bit out of their comfort zone, but the shows were awesome.

yeah right

The last time we saw them In San Diego, they ran out of songs.

It was like 4 encores.

Gonna guess 86-87.
of the previous century.

Will my grandchildren use these as milestones?

Somebody should have stopped and got a shitload of milestones.

King Hippo

In what will hopefully be the last two games of his P*ts career, Tom Brady lost at home. To Ryans Fitzpatrick and Tannehill.

Horatio Cornblower

He’ll be back next year. My guess is that Bill will want to be rid of him but that Kraft, addled by age, nostalgia, and one too many hand jobs from an underpaid Asian immigrant, will refuse to let Brady leave under these circumstances and will instead saddle the Patriots with 2 years and $50 million of a QB who is aging like the portrait of Dorian Gray.

Did I say ‘my guess’? I mean ‘my dream.’

King Hippo

I can’t risk it, the ending is too perfect. And Laserface at Gillette would be hilarious in its own right.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Not “one too many handjobs,” but one too few.

Unsurprised

It’s like that episode of The Simpsons; 64 Kraft Singles makes you blind.

Unsurprised

No. His punishment must be more severe.

Unsurprised

HOW THE FUCK YA DOING, BOYS

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Horatio Cornblower

Just got back from a party at my brother’s and wanted to say, with no shame at all, that Don T has the greatest tits I’ve ever seen.

HAPPY PATRIOTS SCHADENFREUDE DAY!!! GOD BLESS US, EVERY ONE!!!!

Old School Zero

Who put tiny Tim in a locker?! HOW CRUEL!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Help!!! I’m drowning in Patriot Hater’s (i.e. 95% of the country) jizz! Someone call the Coast Guard!!

Horatio Cornblower

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Old School Zero

Hold on, I think I have a spare snorkel around here somewhere…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

SWAAAAALLOW!!!

Unsurprised

Bark it like drunken pirates

yeah right

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Porky Prime

Huzzah!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

¡Saludos al mejor abogado de todos los tiempos!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJCaFe1yamg

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who is more tumescent tonight, us or Jimmy Garappolo?

SonOfSpam

Yes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dick E. Phuck

This is a special kind of Pats Schadenfreude so i’m really basking in it.

ballsofsteelandfury

Me too. It feels like the end of a horrible nightmare.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Old School Zero

It’s like winter sun. Soaking it in to get all the vitamin d(estruction) I can

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

“I also get as much Vitamin D as I can”

– Aaron R.

(that’s Aaron Richman, some gay dude in Laguna Beach)

Horatio Cornblower

That Aaron Richman, man, he pulls all the ass.

ballsofsteelandfury

People are saying Brady isn’t done yet. Did they not see the game? Or are they just counting on him having a massive ego and not leaving? Cuz I’m thinking Bellichick is seeing the handwriting on the wall and buying retirement property in Florida where he can find plenty of MILFs.

SonOfSpam

He’ll be back. I’d bet your last dollar on it.

ballsofsteelandfury

On the Patriots? I dunno…

SonOfSpam

Yeah, as shitty as he was, he was better than Rivers. Their receiving corps is Edelman and…Sanu? He’ll go at least one more year there. Not like they have a Garoppolo or anything waiting.

ballsofsteelandfury

This year feels like Eli last year. Can’t wait until the Pats draft a replacement and he starts Week 10 next year.

SonOfSpam

They’ll trade him to the R****ins for a #1 pick.

Shit, just got hard again.

ballsofsteelandfury

This shit works better than Viagra!

SonOfSpam

(Does that work? Asking for a friend who is 50 and fat)

Viva La Tabula Raza

Ve vill take him!
—Vladimir Putin and the R***ians.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m seeing this from some of my Pats fan acquaintances. Dude, stop it. The fucking party had a good run but it is now over!!

Mr. Ayo

Patriots played the Dolphins, Jets, [*Redacted] s, and Giants, got crowned the best defense ever, and then lost in the Wild Card round pic.twitter.com/ECFxmSUg6j

— Devin Holmgren (@DevinHomegrin) January 5, 2020

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Fortunately, without the spanking you won’t get banned for this.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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“That educational; for the children.”

-Jalen M. Tuscaloosa.

ballsofsteelandfury

I love you for making this comment.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Had to spank a little to get there tho.

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