Your Divisional Round NFC Playoff Game Open Thread

Over in the AFC it’s a foregone conclusion that the Ravens and Chiefs are gonna butt heads next week and that the games played this weekend are just a formality. NOT SO IN THE NFC, brother! Or sister. It’s none of my business as to which sibling you choose to identify as-you do you. Or someone else-WITH CONSENT!

TO THE GAME!

Vikes/Niners:

-Cousins didn’t blow chunks last week! The score aside, that was the biggest upset.

-That damn Adam Thielen ratted someone out earlier this week and is now questionable with stitches. I’m sure he’ll play but are we gonna have another “Bloody Sock” game? Will he become a right-wing nutbar after retirement? It’s too early to tell but some of the signs are there.

-Kyle Rudolf was the overtime hero last week but he’ll have some trouble versus a San Fran D that gave up but one score to the tight end position all year.

-Increasing the level of Vikes woe is the matter of lb Kwon Alexander returning from IR. Opponents pass success rate climbed to 49% while he was out. When he’s on the field that stat dips to 38%.

-Kwon and fellow lb Fred Warner defend the middle of the field very well which will force Cousins to pass to the outside which is not a strength of his. So as per usual, it’ll be up to rb Cook to pull the O out of the frying pan and into the win column.

-Before last week Minny’s record against winning teams was 1-4.

-Prediction Time! A nearly fully healthy, rested and motivated San Franny D will be the difference-Niners win 26-17.

Go at it below.

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

BLEE’RGH MUST FEAST

rockingdog
rockingdog

Watch out all
Hot Girls for Bernie Sanders is gonna be a thing….

BC Dick

I’m not American so can any of you explain this: Obama does hundreds of drone strikes and no one can remember the name of any of them. Trump actually nails an extreme important person from a hostile government who calls America the great Satan and that’s a bad thing? I get the opposition party always has to oppose but I if a Clinton had done it would it be thought of the same? Not considering the awful loss of life on the plane, just the strike thing.

Old School Zero

I certainly don’t speak for all Americans, but what concerns me about it is that we basically killed the war hero general of a sovereign nation we hadn’t declared war with, while he was inside the borders of a country we have occupied (to much regional destabilization), while that general was doing his state sanctioned job (whose schedule of which we were likely very familiar with), and is being pitched to us with the flimsiest of justifications. I can’t defend the Obama drone attacks–I honestly don’t think they’re very morally defensible–but this one just seems to be potentially highly destabilizing over the long term without any really good reason. But, again, it’s not like we have any good, moral reason to be over there in the first place.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

What he said.

BC Dick

Ok that’s reasonable. I was thinking more of an all’s fair in love and war thing and they try to kill us so we can do the same back. But yes, one strike does not justify another.

King Hippo

CBS pre-match isn’t even on yet. JUDGE JUDY

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

THESE MINNESOTA VIKINGS, I CALL THEM THORVLAD EIRIKSSON BECAUSE THEY GOT ANNIHILATED AS SOON AS THEY WENT OUT WEST.

King Hippo

/horn sounds

hippofant
hippofant

Ha, Shanahan’s grandkids are just gone now.

Old School Zero

Gregggggggggggg: /arranges the corpses of 45 hamsters into GAME OVER on top of a stack of Hustler magazines from the 1990s

hippofant
hippofant

I do not believe he likes that, no, indeed, Joe.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

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Old School Zero

THE COMEBACK ENDS

hippofant
hippofant

YOU LIKE THAT?!

SonOfSpam

Apparently Richard Sherman was yelling that after his pickerception, which is just lovely.

Old School Zero

THE COMEBACK BEGINS

Old School Zero

And they cry out to BLEERGH! with all of their hearts, “SAVE US, SAVE US” and BLEERGH! turns off his great light and booms, “LET THEM PLAY”

Gratliff

Wow. They shut the door on them good and proper.

SonOfSpam

Just found out the Chinese Professional Baseball League has a team called the Rakuten Monkeys.

brb gotta go to DHGate and buy a jersey

Spur
Spur

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herodotus450
herodotus450

That’s a big pussy.
(keeps watching)
That’s a big cock.

clint greasewood
clint greasewood

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SonOfSpam

Shut the fuck up Collinsowrth. I’ll sleep on Tannehill if I want to. He looks comfy.

Old School Zero

yeah but he looks like a murphy bed when what you really want is a futon

SonOfSpam

Sounds like the lost verse of “Ironic.”

Spur
Spur

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LemonJello
LemonJello

Almost forgot. Obligatory

THIS FRISCO D, I CALL AN ALABAMA FAMILY REUNION BECAUSE THEY’RE HAVING A TON OF FUN FUCKING COUSINS.

BC Dick

Bosa reminds me of peak Michael Bennett. The power to bull rush any tackle plus the speed moves and run D. Really impressive football player.

SonOfSpam

With the politics of peak William Bennett.

BC Dick

I don’t know about the politics stuff but I do know grandmas are always getting in the way and they know what they’re doing.

King Hippo

yeah, he’s quite good. And with the rest of that DL, hard to double team.

BC Dick

Yeah. I saw something about their pressure numbers or something doubling with Dee Ford playing. Can’t double on Bosa then. Like Watt in Houston (i saw him get quadruple teamed once) or Donald when he had Suh or anyone else who could help.

Spur
Spur

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SonOfSpam

Basically how Gronk does foreplay.

clint greasewood
clint greasewood

Steve Harvey in tears.

Gratliff

Punting down three scores with 9 to go? Just get on the fucking bus

BC Dick

That’s why the cowboys wanted Zimmer so bad. The meek shall inherit the chair that smells of jimmy johnsons farts.

Spur
Spur

What a disgusting act by Cousins.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Spent the holidays at the Session’s household?

Horatio Cornblower

I haven’t seen the Viking collapse like this since (Googles furiously)…Newfoundland, I guess?

Old School Zero

Where’s Pickett’s Charge when we need him?

SonOfSpam

I KOLLAPS VYKINGZ
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King Hippo

Capppppttaaaaain Dinnnnnngleberry! AHOY!!!

clint greasewood
clint greasewood

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SonOfSpam

Vikings’ screen game is as effective as a Polish submarine’s screen game.

clint greasewood
clint greasewood

NBC instead of showing arial shots of San Francisco, should show someone in Santa Clara getting out of a Tesla in a Whole Foods parking lot.

SonOfSpam

You get lots of good aryan shots at a Trump rally.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Amazing how many of the attendees have that receding chin not normally associated with a master race.