Instant Hippo Thoughts – Championship Sunday (2019 Season)

Oh, holiest of holy days.  The last pure FITBAW day on the calendar (the Superb Owl is MOAR a sports-themed event than anything, plus only one game).  I hope everyone reverently enjoyed and appreciated it.

Tit Men and Chefs always felt like a great matchup, and Q1 certainly lived up to the bill.  DonT’s bunch punched KC in the mouth with 10 quick points.  It was fascinating watching Mahomes (his ability to make quick, accurate reads is what truly sets him apart as an ELITE quartered back) play chess with the Titans’ defense (the best in the League at disguising defensive calls).  Really, what more can a FITBAW enthusiast hope for?

Anyway, a jet sweep to Hill cut the margin to 10-7 and we can has game.

Many folks pointed out that Tanny Fanny only threw for double digits in the last two wins.  But he broke a buck-twenty on the 3rd drive, despite weenie shrinking cold temperatures.  Including a FAT GUY TOUCHED DOWN to cap a “40 days in the desert” long drive, making it 17-7.  Coaching, y’all.  It fucking matters.

But despite our joshing, Fat Andy can really coach, too.  Unlike the 500s last week (once KC surged ahead), one felt a response was almost certain.  And respond they did, with a typically Chefs-style lightning strike drive.  Hill scores again, this time through the air.  17-14, with the Chefs getting the ball to start the 2nd half.  Unless Tennessee used the last 4 minutes of Q2 wisely, one could see the worm turning completely.

Kansas City forced a 3-and-out.  RUH ROH.

Mahomes-y took advantage, with the dagger via Madden-ish, fucking unbelievable 27-yard TD scamper.  21-17 at the half.  Things looking bleak for DonT’s crew.  But I wouldn’t expect them to lie down and just take it.  Fuck me, though.  What a first half.

Things slowed down in Q3, with each defensive mastermind adjusting.  But you can’t trade punts with KC very long, and sure enough, Chefs made it 28-17 on the second play of Q4.  Would this be all she wrote for Team of Erotic Smashmouth Destiny?

Yes.  Yes, it was.  Tennessee converted a neat fake punt and another score to Firkser, but that could only make the score a respectable 35-24.  Fat Andy made a brilliant hire in DC Steve Spagnulo, and that would suffice to get Kansas City their first Lamar (no !) Hunt trophy.  He deserves this moment, and good for him.

Who would he square off against?

Tomsulas and Packers traded 3rd and short stops to start the game.  You’d think that a slobber-knocker would favour Santa Clara’s finest.  Deebo! and Colonel Mostert combined for several big plays to put the good guys up 7-nil.  A.A. Ron could nae answer, and I’m Richie James, bitch! ran the punt back to midfield.  Deja vu to the regular season SNF rout?

Long-assed FG makes it 10-nil.  Sack fumble (OL recovered) followed by a 20-yard shank?  I don’t think Cheeseheads like where this is going.  A MostertDOWN redux followed, and I don’t see writing too much about this shitshow.

MostertDOWN numero tres took us to 27-zip at the half.  Oy vey!

Bay of Green made some football points to start Q3, then Mostert…fucking got another one.  He’s flirting with 200 yards, on top of them four scores.  Janeane has thrown SIX forward passes, NONE in Q3.

Somehow, the lead got whittled down to 14, and Ms. Garofolo threw a Q4 pass.  Complete to Kittle.  And there was much rejoicing.

Mostert set the franchise ALL-TIME rushing record.  For any regular or post-season game.  37-20, it ends.  Sherman pickercepts an arm punt in garbage time.

Anyway, this will be a very interesting Superb Owl.  Santa Clara’s running game against the DL that finally slowed down El Tractorcito.  Patrick Mahomes (won’t win MVP, but he’s clearly the best quartered back in FITBAW, and likely a serious GOAT contender) against madman Salah, his NFL-best defense (getting healthy at the right time), and his angry boner that could cut glass (h/t, Covalent Blonde).  Two great coaches, the experience and hunger (hee hee) of Andy Reid against the newest shooting star that is Baby Shanny.

And the best part?  I’d be happy with either side winning.  I just want to see a good, compelling game.  And I very strongly suspect that we will.  Thanks for reading along this delightful season.