There’s much talk of drinkling and fooding in the early thread so I know that everyone is doing it right proper today. The forty-five minutes I spent on the elliptical (god, I hate that motherfucker) won’t even begin to justify the calories that I’ll be absorbing through the day but we all like to pretend, right? And this tilt-doing the research for the intro it’s remarkable how well coached these teams are, the disparate weapons each squadoo has, the game-planning that’s been done to get here… Everything about these two teams is so impressive. So, as Guga Foods would say, Let’s Do It!
TO THE GAME!
Niners/Chiefs:
-Everywhere you look it’s strength against strength against strength. The Chiefs started the season looking like last season’s Shoot ’em up squad that had to out-score everyone and yes, they have some of those same attributes but now they can actually stop people-namely, outside receivers.
-San Fran’s stifling D plays zone coverage the second-most of all teams. Wanna guess which football tosser had the highest QBR rating against zone coverage? Yeah, that Mahomes kid.
-San Fran has only trailed by more than 7 points just once all season long. But Andy Reid’s record after getting a bye in regular and postseason is a gaudy 23-5.
-In bottling up receivers the Chiefs D has allowed the 3rd-most catches to the tight end position. Kittles has been vewy, vewy qwiet the past two weeks but he may have to be the gamebreaker today if San Fran has to match scores. He’ll most likely be defended off and on by Honey Badger who has been very effective in a ‘roaming’ role this season.
-It certainly seems as though the Niners own the best d-line in the biz and the numbers back them up. When Armstead, Ford, Bosa and Buckner are on the field at the same time they get a pressure rate (just think of a fast-collapsing pocket) of 44%. On third and fourth down that rate rises to a ridiculous 57%.
-So Mahomes under pressure-I wonder how his numbers look when he has to throw in 2.5 seconds or less. [shuffles through notes] Ah, here it is-he’s 218 for 300 on his completions (72%) with 16 TD’s and no intercepts. Jesus Christ.
-I took a look at prop bets and the one that makes me curious is Mahomes running yardage at 24.5 or 30.5, depending where you look. He’s run for 53 in each game, you know there’ll be at least one designed run for him, you know he’ll get flushed out of the pocket a few times and you know he’s going to take off if there’s a long ball play and Hill is covered and the open middle of the field beckons. Am I missing something here?
-Prediction Time: I don’t think this game will get away from the Niners. I do want Reid to get a ring and not be saddled with the ‘couldn’t get it done in the big game’ albatross. I am all for Mahomes getting a Super Bowl under his belt on his way to eclipsing Brady as the best QB of all time over the next 15-18 years. Let’s do 31-28 Chiefs.
How about you? Where’d you put the moneys? Who was the first to bring up politics out of context? Who’s the sloppy drunk in your gang? You didn’t burn the nachos did you? Fill some space down below.
Took the dogs for a walk. What I just bagged from Lambeau answered the question about the missing slices of pizza.
Still have beers
So now my FB feed is about how the Chiefs are racist. God Fucking Damn It. Of all the indigenous-themed franchises, they are miles away the least problematic.
Any worse than Vikings? Kings?
https://gfycat.com/@unsurprised/manage/collections/2Cw14fH1
Watching a copy of Hustlers seems like it’d be more fun than watching the halftime show.
Son in law brought spirits.
In addition to being one of the best outfitters of home brew gear in the southbay.
He also distills.
Shit I should have invited myself over to your place
Not gonna lie–I am very gassy at the moment
It was the Lipton onion soup dip.
And the cheese.
Wiiiiiiiings
@BFC
I just farted in Montreal in your honor.
Mahomes at the White House:
“So, Patrick, that’s an Irish name, I’m guessing? Must be Black Irish, given your complexion.”
—Orange-Utan
It’s a rare tribe.
The Blacknamaras.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxv0t7lVKgM
Was your dad a GI?
Sitting at 1499 comments according to the counter up top. let’s change that.
I was trying to shit in peace and now my granddaughters are chasing me.
Son of a bitch.
In the bathroom?
It feels like 3 fucking am
Page 16 of comments. Well done everyone indeed!
The hamsters on wheels running this thing are gonna sleep well tonight.
Buddy gave them some crystals he had laying around. They’ll be good to keep going all night.
Aaaaaand done! 1500 comments!
Nearly there…
Big, if true.
“I’ve always loved the Chiefs! Check out my Mahomes Jersey!”
– Seattle Residents
Very good Sil. I mean Blax.
You will never beat us philly boy.
We’re all very happy that the niners lost. I’m not a resident but a fan. Just because no one else was paying attention doesn’t mean we’re all Johnny come late lies. I watched the bad years and I think I’m entitled to joy at my fun loving meritocratic team.
Hey. What’d I miss?
Sherman is a SB liability.
He was liable as hell.
I dipped out of the DFOsphere for a couple days this week, can someone enlighten me about the OTTO thing? Mucho Gracias.
It’s a KSK thing
Forget it, Jake.
He was a KSK legend, die hard Chefs fan.
Thank you for clearing that up. I will not bother trying to follow that rabbit hole any further.
Responsible for 95% of PoFlaWas in the komments.
And then he vanished
https://youtu.be/psZXyooc-AI
Otto was a good dude. Funny motherfucker.
Whoever said Kaep would have won it…I wish you weren’t going to get beat up at work tomorrow
The Andy Reid narrative is gone. I wonder if being away from his sons, resulting in one of the dying was worth it. Think Bradshaw would ask that?
“It was.” – Tony Dungy
Fun fact: Tony Dungy wrote a children’s book
Before, or after? Timing is important.
The ending left me hanging
I think we can all agree the real winner here is Jim Harbaugh.
You know what? I’m happy that Tyreek Hill’s team won. Because it reduces the chance of his son getting beaten to death tonight by AT LEAST 50%.
Jimmy Garoppolo is in the locker room, sobbing uncontrollably into a silk handkerchief.
You misspelled “pornstar’s cleavage”
That comes later, after he moisturizes.
What is a weird pseudo-Asian guy doing as the male Chiefs fan model on the NFL Shop commercial?
Irony?
This must be why RTD decided to take a trip to the Middle East during the Super Bowl…
So does Mahomes do the White House visit or no?
I think he does
his mom says yes, dad says no.
Kelce was already going to be in town for a bikers for trump rally.
“So, Patrick, that’s an Irish name, yes? I guess it’s Black Irish, given your complexion.”
—Orange-Utan
Yes. He refuses to do the Heimlich when Trump chokes ona cheeseburger and is crowned QB King of the USA.
Mahomes has old tweets defending cops and george zimmerman and shit, so if that hasn’t changed considerably, he’ll be dining on Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers
IT SALUTES THE ORANGE MAN OR IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN!
First song on the Kyle Shanahan post-game mix: REM.
Thank goodness Kyle Shanahan is familiar with post Super Bowl loss interviews.
Practice makes perfect
Not saying Mahomes should worry but the last time a Chief held anything that valuable in Miami, he was forced to walk to Kansas City.
Slowest of Slow Claps
“Congratulations to the 2020 Super Bowl Champions, the uh… [opens box of t shirts] San Francisco 49ers!” –Sudan
Gonna be glad to get rid of these “Patriots 19-0” T shirts once and for all!
—the rest of sub-Saharan Africa
20-10 is the new 28-3
Wrong response to wrong comment. See response to Balls’ comment below.
Hell, the end of that first half could be the new 28-3.
So, what did I miss?
Patriots won again, Aaron Hernandez was MVP. Go back to sleep.
the courts apparently allow Tyreek Hill to touch his chill’uns again
Nothing, I think.
—SB LI
The Kansas City Chiefs outrank the Atlanta Braves.
I would say that Andy and his wife could always make another, better son – but she looked pretty tiny and I think present-day Andy would suffocate her.
Someone tell terry bradshaw that playing dumb doesn’t work when you’re actually dumb
“This is just an unusual way of winning football games,” in that you scored more points than the other team.
Terry Bradshaw
Mahomes going to Disney World. Because Disney owns the Muppets.
“Kingdom? I like the sound of that.”
– D Trump, mushroom deep in his own daughter
You misspelled son.
I’ve had a suspicion Ivanka has a dick.
I have proof.
Now THAT must be a good Tinder horror story
“I want to thank the Lord for helping us to win and helping them to lose.”
Can’t wait for the Bradshaw Newsies revival
Even Lady BFC, who gives no fucks about football, is shit talking Roger Goodell right meow
She made up an anti-Goodell song inspired by
https://open.spotify.com/track/2dgex0FiYtsHguA8D5WScn?si=lqZ-bg80Qn2zk6Khq_Lkcg
The world needs to hear this
Okay, four more years of Trump or 40 more years of Goodell and they remane the Lombardi Trophy after him. Make your pick.
Goodell
Goodell. At least the USA would still, technically, exist.
Goodell.
He understands that we all hate him.
Goodell. Not close.
Sorry, but it’s Goodell in a landslide. But the result would be overturned by the Supreme Court.
Goodell. America needs Bernard to win
Goodell is like a charisma black hole
Where’s Virginia McCaskey’s cobwebbed pussy now?
Are you Bill Bellicheck
eating her mutton
Andy Reid makes a lot of money. I’ll bet that guy has a gigantic toilet. A toilet that’s just for him, as anyone else would fall in if they sat on it.
It’s a raised koi pond
Tinniest hunt shooting partridges with bird shot
Goodell bot seems to be malfunctioning.
If the National Disgrace sees his shadow at the Superb Owl, does that mean 6 more weeks of free agency?
National Disgrace? I think you mean 6 more years of authoritarian dictatorship.
Roger Goodell, dynamic public speaker.
If no one else had said it,
WAY TO GO OTTO!!!