How Open Is Your Thursday?

King Hippo

I reckon I will continue with “Occupied” on Netflix.   Norway seems pretty awesome, to me.

There is no FITBAW, nor baseball.  Nor will there be for quite some time.  I don’t enjoy online agitation and anger, so I am certainly avoiding news and politics for a bit.

We are getting cray-cray winter rainstorms as I write this, so a nap is deffo an option.  The cats believe this to be a fine idea, though they are mad at me for it raining.  Pictured is Noodles Edmond D***s, grandson of Hippo, nephew of Kruger.  He is pretty awesome, even if he steals my fancy-pants “for Hippo’s fucked up c-spine” Stressless recliner whenever he can.

I mean, there must be some kind of sportsball I can point you to.  Then again, not really:

JV WKRP at Scary Wheat (7:00, ESPN)

Fightin’ Horatios at Tulsa (7:00, ESPN2)

Troi Boiz @ Fat Sean Miller (9:00, ESPN2)

Monarcas Morelia @ Atlas (LigaMX, 10:15, likely Univision Deportes?)

That’s…really it.  Sorry, I don’t make the schedule.  And I don’t believe in regular season NHL or anytime-of-year NBA, so speak about that amongst yourselves if y’all wish.

Hey, at least that Superb Owl lived up to the name this season.  Hold onto that memory FOAR dear life.

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King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Arrested for failure to appear

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Somewhere, tWBS just got an unexplained Inappropriate Chick boner….

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nah. She deffo nawt mah type.
I’d rather nap with teh Hippo’s kitty cat.
Wait, let me rephrase that.

ArmedandHammered

It was either appear in court or miss her shift on stage at the strip club.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s a DAMN PURDY stripper… Ada County is in Idaho…. something is very wrong here.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

FUCK YEAH!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Is there any other kind?

Joliet Jake Delhomme

I’m all on board for spring football. Most leagues screw up by trying to go head to head.

SonOfSpam

Same problem as bad gay porn.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Docking is a thing, PAL.

SonOfSpam

Watching my Anteaters online, and one of their rotation players is a freshman named Jaron Artest.

Hope he changes his name to JaMetta World Peace soon.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Watching my Anteaters online

Well there’s a new porn search term…… to me anyway.

SonOfSpam

Oraluncles.com

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

I’m in Fronk’s XFL league AND made fun of Litre’s spelling ability. JOIN US OR DIE.

https://altfantasysports.com/league/invite/5e3c358d6d5a9/

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

Made it in finally

SonOfSpam

That’s what she said?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Go ahead and look at the comments; I DARE YA!

SonOfSpam

Are they in German? Because I don’t read no German. Unless the author was

/dragged off to camp by DFO overlords

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Are you part of the commie/ trans/ Satan/ Hollywood/ climate change/ Red Cross plot?

SonOfSpam

No idea what you’re talking about, but probably.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, the smart YouTube commenters know!

*I have not seen that particular conspiracy group before either, but Alex Jones has PROOF.

SonOfSpam

Look, normally I’m not in favor of dunking people into the La Brea Tar Pits, just lemme know if Alex Jones is ever in the area.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Be kind; just put him in up to his neck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Any guesses on what Rush is doing with his Freedom Metal?

Sharkbait

Probably selling it to cover chemo costs

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m thinking he has plenty of bank from what he was selling….. maybe being and addict took the top off though.

SonOfSpam

I am already going to hell, so there’s no penalty for guffawing at that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

This thing will tell you where 3 blacks are?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Apparently in ’96 that’s where you could score some dope.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The original Charley’s Angels had some good points.

h

ttps://66.media.tumblr.com/7f6b1d64fe9b668a7101a0b35f797b52/7a304ec7e0b0f481-94/s640x960/c9c10aaf90e4d5ccf7e7e7ac27c904076d054406.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Safe for DFO, just a large GIF.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Obey HypnoButt (TM).

ballsofsteelandfury

W.O.W.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

How Open is Your Thursday?

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Brick Meathook

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Col. Duke LaCross

Fuck yeah it does!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve already forgotten what last year’s NFL-wannabe spring league was called, and only remember it because San Antonio had a team. I’m sure this will be even worse. Only thing that pisses me off is that McMahon, when the thing craters, will probably get a 5 or 6 billion dollar tax refund/credit as a result of that big Republican tax giveaway they ramrodded through a couple years ago.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

“If they were women this would be porn!” -People mad about the halftime show

Gratliff

That’s David Starr hitting the dude with his dick there. One of the bigger indie names out there, and an unapologetic progressive Jew. Last year, Sinclair Broadcasting’s Ring of Honor thought it would be a good idea to have him wrestle for their title in a rare wrestling show in Israel. He took the opportunity to do a bunch of promos attacking Israel’s human rights records and pissed off EVERYBODY. Now he’s working to organise indie talent and he’s pissing off all the shitty carny owners trying to rip off workers instead.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqeiufWZ9sY

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Welp; I’m a fan then.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

But I don’t want to get hit by a dick unless they are a professional. If you don’t know what you are doing it can be dangerous.

Gratliff

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Tomorrow is 8-week post-surgery visit with podiatric surgeon. I’m hopeful that he tells me I can start putting some weight on it. This will mark the third time I’ve left the friendly confines of the main floor of my house since 11 December 2019. God damn am I hating this cabin fever.
Lady who is picking me up and taking me to the doc’s and then the liquor store is a nice 70-year-old Christian lady upon whom I lay a couple of grams of good smoke and a nice bottle of wine upon her getting me back to the house. She is the wife of a retired F-14 pilot, and she tells me that she spent her whole career of 26 years as a Naval Aviator’s wife making sure no one ever knew she was the biggest pot-head at NAS Miramar or wherever the fuck he was stationed at the time. Cool old gal, even for a Republican.

LemonJello

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SonOfSpam

Stoner Repubs are the only tolerable Repubs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Only when they are too stoned to vote.

Col. Duke LaCross

Played the golf course on that base like 21 years ago. Fun track!

Fronkenshteen

https://altfantasysports.com/league/invite/5e3c358d6d5a9/

Just a friendly (albeit incredibly late) reminder that DFO XFL Fantasy Football starts with our draft Saturday at noon EST, followed by kickoff at 2:00. Entry is free. Winning’ll have an extra $50 riding on your hip. None of us, I assume, has any idea what we’re doing. Could be fun. The above link is your invitation!

Looks like 14 teams is the max, so HURRY GODDAMMIT. Dumb fun for big dopes. Now I gotta go Uber college kids around till 2:00.

Viva La Tabula Raza

So, I don’t know shit about FF. Just never had any interest whatsoever.
But I have to ask, if entry is free, who is providing the $50 to the winner? Am I catching a whiff of some McMahonesque brimstone and hydrogen sulfide behind the scenes here?
“Let me make you boys an offer, you know, a DEAL deal…”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFRczUhjhU4

Sharkbait

Kelly’s Heroes is underrated. Fucking amazing movie.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Not underrated by me. Top Ten, woof woof.

Edit: But more analytical me is all like, “What the fuck, how are they gonna get all those tons of gold out of a war zone and actually be able to cash it in somehow or where?”

nomonkeyfun

Always with the negative waves.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The humor was understated.

Senor Weaselo

Second, I assume money goes unclaimed if the league folds midseason?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wouldn’t it get bourbuled?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think it is from the vast DFO coffers; house in the huge DFO vault in a secret location is subterranean LA.

Sharkbait

Error registering. Preview of the XFL season?

WCS
Viva La Tabula Raza

Probably thinks you are a brown person or something.

herodotus450

More like BuffaLOL amirite

herodotus450

Possible actual useful information from Pierre Maquirre: the hockey stick factories are in China near Wuhan and are still shut down, incoming hockey stick shortage, time to gouge prices if you’re a hockey stick merchant!

LemonJello

How did the Canadia ever let a critical industry like hockey stick production leave its borders? What’s next? Outsourcing maple syrup brewing to Indonesia?

herodotus450

That’s what happens when you vote for
[checks notes]
Torries?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think Big Maple Syrup was assimilated by Big High-Fructose Corn Syrup at least an entire generation ago. Unless in you’re in the back woods of VT or NH at some quaint Ye Olde Country Store, and even then I’m a bit leery.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The ceiling fan over my desk is making weird noises. I fear that it may soon unhinge and decapitate me.

If that happens, Hippo you need to come get my head and ship it to Brick Meathook in California. Brick, you then have to put me into the cryochamber and put a “Do Not Open Until 2500” sticker on it.

Thanks guys.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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WCS

I CALL DAVE

LemonJello

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Best Dave is Super Dave.comment image

litre_cola

Can I hot box that chamber?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Turn the fan down to low or medium. I’ve drunkenly stuck my hand/arm assembly into a rotating ceiling fan when putting on a pullover sweater or sweatshirt, more than once in my life, and suffered no amputations.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Keep trying.

Sharkbait

You forgot the most important job. Who is in charge of deleting your browser history?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

tWBS has been watching too many Final Destination movies. You only need to really watch the third one.

ballsofsteelandfury

Not only that, that virtually guarantees that the Copa will be won by a Basque club. The only non-Basque club left is Mirandes and they’re literally 7000 feet from the border with the Basque Country and in Second Division.

litre_cola

*Segunda

theeWeeBabySeamus

Telephone Rings…tWBS answers.
Hi this is Roy what the fuck ever calling on behalf of the policeman’s what the fuck ever. If we sent out a what the fuck ever to you can we count on your support for a one time donation?

tWBS: Well lemme axe you a question Roy. Does this donation go to officers who are disabled in the line of duty or to their families? Or is this a PAC? And don’t forget, you legally can’t lie about it.

Roy hangs up.

Brick Meathook

“Roy, I thought I smelled bacon”

theeWeeBabySeamus

I actually tried to call Roy back a few times. He’s not taking my calls.

herodotus450

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Maybe you would have more success in reaching him if you didn’t drunk-dial him at 3 AM.

Col. Duke LaCross

Anyone ever notice that cop unions are literally the only unions conservatives seem to be okay with?

Just me?

theeWeeBabySeamus

$$$$$

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Because they are more likely to shoot teh brown people.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Whenever “Roy” from the state troopers/police benevolent society manages to get through to me, which only happens in unguarded mental states on my part, I tell him I prefer to contribute in a more meaningful way by voting Democratic, since the Republicans in this state have done everything in their power to gut police benefits, salaries, retirements, and family survivor benefits, resulting in his pathetic begging calls.
In fact, next time Roy gets through, I think I’m gonna tell him I already sent all my charity money for this year to Black Lives Matter.
Or the DNC. Most righties don’t see any difference, anyway.

Game Time Decision

The cats believe this to be a fine idea

“Feline idea” was right there
/bad puns and dad jokes for days

litre_cola

Hmmm will check odds.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Cool; I will check evens, then we can have a Webex meeting.