Your Wednesday Evening Catwalk Post


NFL News:

  • Greg Olsen has signed a one-year deal with the Seahawks.
    So gritty.
    • Continuing the heritage of greats like Franco Harris, Jerry Rice & Sebastian Janikowski, who all signed one-year deals with Seattle before retiring & going to the Hall of Fame.
    • ESPN throws some delightful shade, pointing out that Russell Wilson will be “the best quarterback” he’s ever caught passes from in his career.
  • Jason Witten is thinking he might have to play somewhere else in 2020.
    • He did finish eighth in receptions and 14th in yards among all tight ends last season.
      • Pointing out how good, or bad, the position was across the league last season.
    • “I want that to be with the Dallas Cowboys. I’ll always be a Dallas Cowboy. But I also understand that, with all the changes, I may have to go somewhere else.”
  • The [Redacteds] have exercised the team option on Adrian Peterson.
    • He’s set to make $2.25 million guaranteed, and count $3.0 million against the cap.
      • There is an Annual Incentive of $1.5 million
        • Based on achieving 1,000 rushing yards + team rushing rank improvements from the year prior.
    • While cheap, it’s double the $1.03 million he received in base salary in 2019.
      • There was also a $1.5 million signing bonus, split over two cap years.
        • Which is why he’s a $3.0 million cap hit in 2020.

Finally, the new CBA negotiations are working on refining the League’s marijuana policy.

“I’ll be waiting for you.”
  • The policy change would only suspend players for marijuana usage “in the event of extreme and repeated disregard of the policy or significant violations of applicable law regarding the possession and use of marijuana,” according to ProFootballTalk.
    • So there would still be rules, but only for those who are repeat offenders.
  • It would would also narrow the period players can be tested to two weeks. Currently, players are subject to one random test between April 20 and until early August, according to Sports Illustrated.
    • Meaning that, once the testing period is formalized in the new CBA, a player would have to stay clean for one month prior plus the two week testing period to formally avoid league sanction.
      • Surely even Josh Gordon can avoid the green for six short weeks.

Currently, and hilariously, as noted above, the window for the NFL’s annual marijuana testing opens on April 20th and lasts until early August.

Good news – the new “‘Touch’ by Alyssa Milano” NFL collection is here!

Complete with photos of not quite her face, photoshopped into clothing for teams she’d never support!

She does rep some 49ers gear, along with either a friend or a heavily augmented picture of her from 2013.


It’s like she devolved.

There is a line for those who enjoy stabbing others.


Differential pricing based on how ‘urban’ the fanbase is,

and a garment sure to get the femurs a’ pounding.

“Hey Low Commander, who’s your boss?”

Because it’s a collection “for the ladies”, let’s not forget the maternity wear!


Including the [Redacteds] one that should be redacted for its atrocious photoshop.

It was made in the USA with 100% MS Paint! Jesus – even SFW Porn has better quality.

She’s never seen a white bird that big before.

Nevertheless, get yours now! You missed out on Valentine’s Day, but I’m sure her birthday is right around the corner.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Rangers at Blackhawks – 8:00PM | NBCSN
    • Bruins at Oilers – 8:30PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • I was wrong – the All-Star break ends Thursday
  • NCAA:
    • Butler at Seton Hall – 6:30PM | FS1
    • Syracuse at Louisville – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • Auburn at Georgia – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • UCF at Cincinnati – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Providence at Georgetown – 8:30PM | FS1
    • Duke at North Carolina State – 9:00PM | ESPN
    • Kansas State at Texas Tech – 9:00PM | ESPN2
  • Wrasslin’:
    • AEW Dynamite – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN2
    • NXT – 8:00PM | USA / Friday in Canada
  • Kickball:
    • 2020 CONCACAF Champions League: Round of 16:
      • Leg #1 – Deportivo Saprissa vs. Montreal – 8:00PM | TSN5 / FS2

But none of that shit matters – it’s Democratic debate night!

LIVE! from the Paris Theatre in Las Vegas, 9:00PM on MSNBC & NBC News. Your participants are:

  • Former Vice President Joe Biden
  • Former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg
  • Former South Bend, Indiana, Mayor Pete Buttigieg
  • Minnesota Sen. Amy Klobuchar
  • Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders
  • Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren

Come for the feisty back & forth between viable candidates; stay for (if I understand Twitter correctly) the elderly Jewish men arguing about who is better for America, while the gay war veteran looks on in bewilderment.

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Rikki-Tikki-DeadlyballsofsteelandfuryWCSLow Commander of the Super SoldiersSonOfSpam Recent comment authors
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We need to talk about Franklin and Bash.

Specifically, whatever happened to that show?

Senor Weaselo

Pete: “Don’t have an idea of whether you’re on the side of justice or oppression? Why not Pete?”


Suck it, Dook.



Pete and Sue fighting is kinda funny.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Just starting “Color Out of Space” with Lady Commander. Will I become inebriated enough for BOLTMAN to make an appearance? LET’S FIND OUT!


For anyone not familiar, Boltman is his nickname for his penis.


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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers



Wait, is it also a nickname for your mechanic?